30+ To continue or Not?

[Carly]

Hi first post so here goes. Cutting a long story short, we met over two decades ago and last year we connected when I went for a holiday to his country. Seeing him again after such a long time and having no contact until then was very emotional to say the least. We are both divorced but have children who are still at school and I'm on one side of the world and he is on the other. It was as if time stood still and we still have feelings for each other but.... Reality is that neither of us can go and live in each other's country due to families and language barriers and a million other things to stop us. We still communicate on a regular basis but it is absolute torture for me because we can't be together.
So I'm asking advice and feedback on how I can handle this situation. Do keep going like this which is heartbreaking or make a break and let him know that it's time to cool it and be just nothing more than friends and keep contact to a bare minimum? Both are hard decisions for me so if anybody has suggestions please let me know. Thank you

[Moon]

Long-term LDR's aren't impossible, I know, because I'm in one

In my humble opinion though, there are some factors you need to seriously consider before deciding. First and foremost are the ages of both of your children. The feasibility depends a lot on if one or both of you have teens, or toddlers. If you have teens, you're looking at a lot shorter time LD. If one of you even has older kids, that gives time to learn a language to the one who can move first. You have to consider things like job opportunities in each country and think about which one has the best chance of earning a living wage for both of you, and the situation towards foreigners in that country. Some hire foreigners easier than others.

Importantly, you both need to seriously consider if either of you will actually be willing to move away from your young adult children. Don't think you'll worry about it later, that can cause a world of heartache. Also know that as the years pass, and the time gets closer, leaving may get harder than you can do. Only you (and he) can answer these questions for yourselves, we can't really make any plausible suggestions about it, unfortunately.

Again, it can be done. Is it worth it? I don't know, everyone and every relationship is unique, that's up to you. My daughter is an adult, and I don't want to move 4300 miles from her, though there are other factors, such as language, employment and elderly parents involved for me. I do wish you luck, please take your time with your decision.

[La Daniela]

I'm in a similar situation with regard to relocating. We both have children, my son is an adult but like you, don't want to move 5000 miles away from him. Other factors are doable, no issue with the language barrier and I could easily find a job. We both know what we want, just can't seem to find a way to get it right now. I keep telling myself we will find a way and I know neither of us will give up, we love each other too much for that. It's a strange feeling ..... I sometimes describe it like being in a waiting room. I know what I want and feel like I am just waiting around until a magical solution comes along.