So, my BF has only been gone for about 2 weeks, and after he left he wasn't always responding to my texts or picking up my phone calls. Before he'd left I'd asked him to promise me that if his feelings changed he wouldn't do that kind of stuff...he'd just tell me. Rip off the band-aid, so to speak. And I promised him that I'd do the same for him. It was hurting my feelings because this wasn't how he'd behaved when he was here...he always answered my texts and calls.
So, I sent him an email telling him that I understood he was adapting to a lot of changes in his life, and that this was a big change for me too (having him gone) and basically told him that I needed more reassurance that he cared about me and I was important to him. I gave him an out...he could have said this was too much for right now, and ended things. But he didn't
He wrote back saying that he understood, and that he just needed some time to settle in, and that it would get better. Then we laid out our expectations for texting and phone calls, so we're both on the same page. I feel so much better knowing that we both have reasonable expectations and no one is feeling pressured with unrealistic ones.
We'll see where things go from here, but I'm glad that we got over our first little bump on this LDR journey! Only 23 more days until our first weekend together since he left
Just a side note...my 16 yo son asked how my BF was doing. I told him he was fine, that we'd had a couple of little bumps, but we'd worked them out. His immediate response was, "Did he hurt you? If he hurt you I'm gonna hurt him." Which he doesn't really mean, but its nice to know that he loves me...with teenagers you sometimes wonder...lol!
So, I sent him an email telling him that I understood he was adapting to a lot of changes in his life, and that this was a big change for me too (having him gone) and basically told him that I needed more reassurance that he cared about me and I was important to him. I gave him an out...he could have said this was too much for right now, and ended things. But he didn't
He wrote back saying that he understood, and that he just needed some time to settle in, and that it would get better. Then we laid out our expectations for texting and phone calls, so we're both on the same page. I feel so much better knowing that we both have reasonable expectations and no one is feeling pressured with unrealistic ones.We'll see where things go from here, but I'm glad that we got over our first little bump on this LDR journey! Only 23 more days until our first weekend together since he left
Just a side note...my 16 yo son asked how my BF was doing. I told him he was fine, that we'd had a couple of little bumps, but we'd worked them out. His immediate response was, "Did he hurt you? If he hurt you I'm gonna hurt him." Which he doesn't really mean, but its nice to know that he loves me...with teenagers you sometimes wonder...lol!
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