30+ Feeling lonely and forgotten

[jenpeterson]

Hi, I am new here and feeling lonely and forgotten.

My boyfriend and I started dating about 7 months ago. We met on-line, he lives in North Carolina and I live in Chicago. I was not looking for a LDR by any means but we fell in love. I am 47, today actually and I have two teenagers who love him. He is 47 and has 2 adult children. We have seen eachother a few times, he has come here and I have gone there. It has been amazing. We would FaceTime when possible and text. The last 3 trips for him to come to Chicago have been canceled because of work obligations, last minute. The most recent one for last weekend had to be canceled because he has torn his rotator cuff and is in severe pain. I offered to fly or drive there but he wanted to be alone because the pain was too severe. Yesterday he had a Ortopedic doctor apt. And I have not heard from him for 3 days. I have sent �good morning� texts with no reply. I feel helpless. I am not going to text or call. I want to know what his doctor says and if he has to have surgery. I know that the pain is so severe that he is not emotionally available to me. I have paid for every flight as I used miles but now I have all these canceled flights in his name that I cannot use. I have made myself vulnerable and I have given so much that I feel that I am left here high and dry only to miss him and not know where things stand.

My kids love him and so do my parents and so do I. We have talked about him moving here as I can not move there due to restrictions in my divorce decree because my kids are under 18. I feel torn, let down, lost, lonely, unloved, yearning for him. It has been over 2 months, 3 canceled trips and now we have a trip coming up over Thanksgiving to go to Mexico for a week, which will probably be canceled due to his injury or him simply not calling/texting me.

What do I do? Reach out, Leave him alone and give him space. I am just so confused, 3 days of no communication is killing me and today is my birthday which I�m sure I won�t hear anything about. I don�t want to date anyone, he is the man for me and I am deeply in love like I have never been before. I have finally opened up and allowed love in.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate any advice as you are all in the same boat as me. I am too old for stupid games or �ghosting� if that is what this is. Thank you, Jen

[Cee]

Honestly despite his pain -he should and can still wish you a happy birthday. I feel like he may be putting space there and its unclear why because you have described the encounters as an amazing experience. I think you should give it space and see when he reaches out next but also reflect on if this is meeting your needs or not. I know if my bf went more than 1 day without saying somethig,even a goodnight text Id be really upset and express that its not okay for me. Yes he has a right to his time but hes still functioning aka eating,going about his daily stuff so therefore he should have time to shoot you a quick text hello or a sorry im unavailable right now this is why kinda thing. Im sorry youre feeling lonely Im sending you support and a happy birthday!!

[Rezie]

There are times when you might not be in contact everyday, but he is actively ignoring you. I hope you had a giid burthday regardless! I'd give him a call and if he doesn't answer then flatout ask why is he not responding and then work with that. If he keeps ignoring you the I'd just move on. It has been 7 months and in LDR so I'm sure your kids will get over it quickly. I can understand when in pain texting is not a priority. I can also understand for wanting space. But an adults hould be able to communicate that they won't be able to be in contact for a while.