30+ Jealousy and Anxiety

[kate04]

Dear all

Firstly I feel ridiculous for even writing this and especially for allowing it to become a 'thing'. I am a grown woman in her 40s with kids ffs!

However....

I am in the UK, he is in the USA. We both have kids.

I share anything significant with him - my children's birthdays, events I'm going to, even mundane stuff like I'm getting a new carpet!

He doesn't and freely admits he's naturally very guarded but more open with me than anyone he's ever known.

He shares things like a new job, sick child / pet etc / work stuff / work events but I've realised I don't know much about his everyday life.

He's not much into sending me photos either, unless I ask him.

This is causing jealousy and anxiety for me and I feel I'm turning into a mad stalker. I had a look on his ex's FB earlier in the week and it was his daughter's birthday! He didn't tell me... that's really odd for me.

We have spoken about this before and I get that we are all different and he says that he doesn't share everything because he just doesn't.. nothing underhand .. he just filters out stuff that he doesn't see as important... but his daughter's birthday???

Is it just me? I need to chill, I know, but how?? My ridiculousness will end up destroying this beautiful, fragile thing we have.. :-(

[VinallaMaggie]

I can understand how you feel, because communication is the key to LDR. If I were you , I would feel upset also. Is he always be like this in the beginning or he has changed to share less stuffs with you?

[kate04]

Hi
Thank you for replying.
He’s very open about his feelings for me and he’ll answer questions if I ask. He’ll tell me about his day eg went to work, x happened, picked my child up from her grandparents etc I knew about his other child’s birthday because we were supposed to meet up, but his ex kicked off about him missing some of her birthday as he was due to travel back the morning of the birthday.
He admits he’s a guarded person.
I can’t even ask him about this child’s birthday because I got the info from looking at the ex’s fb!
I’ve now blocked her so the temptation has gone (I hope)
I even asked him on the birthday what he was doing that night and the answer was very low key night, nothing! I have him plenty of opportunities to tell me about it too. I don’t get it.