30+ Worth making work?

[Sunshine_1]

Hi

In a LDR going on 6 months. He has already met my parents. I have yet to meet his family.
When we first spoke we discussed our intent for marriage. W/in that month of meeting and talking everyday for about 3 hours he said he can see himself marrying me. And we met that month after about 20 days of talking everyday.

Fast forward to today, haven't seen each other in 3 months. He's a workaholic and due to work overload, hasn't made any plans to see me.

I haven't met his family. Our communication is ok.

I ask when will we be moving in, he said 1-2 months. But I really don't think it's a priority.

Before our current 3 month stint, we would see each other for about 1 week every month.

Now he started a new job in Sept and I'm not sure he has the time. He doesn't want to fly me in for a few days because he wants to clear his schedule for me.

But obviously that's been hard for him to do lately.

I'm trying to keep busy during this pandemic but this relationship has been frustrating.

Should I continue to be patient?

[D_M]

Hi,
I think if you have concerns you need to talk to your SO about them. It sounds like you may not want to be with a workaholic... but I would also suggest you need to spend more time together before steamrolling into marriage. That is a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship, even if that is where you could end up.
LDRs are hard, so you definitely need patience. It involves making sacrifices too, so decide if you are willing to make those. Also, do you have an end date, even approximately?

[LisaS]

I agree with D_M, communication is key in any relationship, especially in an LDR. If he says that you’ll be moving in together in 1-2 months, is there a reason why you don’t think it will happen? It’s ok if things don’t work out exactly as planned, but I think you need to have a conversation of what your long term goals are (getting married, what city to move in, by what date, etc) and make plans to actively work towards them. Also, you might want to think about what kind of lifestyle you want. If he is really an workaholic and if you’re living together, would you be ok with him working late or sometimes on weekends?

[Sunshine_1]

i gave up

I agree with D_M, communication is key in any relationship, especially in an LDR. If he says that you’ll be moving in together in 1-2 months, is there a reason why you don’t think it will happen? It’s ok if things don’t work out exactly as planned, but I think you need to have a conversation of what your long term goals are (getting married, what city to move in, by what date, etc) and make plans to actively work towards them. Also, you might want to think about what kind of lifestyle you want. If he is really an workaholic and if you’re living together, would you be ok with him working late or sometimes on weekends?

Thank you for your replays. I had 2 hours of sleep. Up thinking about my relationship and not feeling satisfied.

I called him 2x last night w/ na. Called him today na. So I just text him that we should end it.

And he said ok. Some thing just doesnt feel right, and I feel that he's no longer pursuing me.

I gave the relationship my best. I just couldnt give any more patience.

[D_M]

Sorry to hear that Sunshine_1, but if it didn't feel right then you should put trust in your intuition and it sounds like his response confirmed your concerns.

[LisaS]

I’m glad you found the courage to speak up when your needs weren’t being met and the strength to leave a relationship that wasn’t working for you. Breakups suck but have faith that you will find a relationship that is so much better for you!

[romanmalon]

You definitely need to talk about it. If you rarely see each other, ask your partner what he does in your free time. If you really have love, then your partner will easily answer this question. We hope the best is ahead of you!