30+ Anyone in long term LDR?

[Lougirl]

Wondering if anyone else is in a long term LDR? 8 yes here. New to the forum.

[xxcazaxx]

Hi
Nearly 6 years for me. So hard at the moment with the travel restrictions too which makes it really frustrating when you have no idea of when you can even see each other. Where are you and your other half based?

[Bestisyettocome]

Wow 8 years is amazing Lougirl as is 6 years xxcazaxx. Would love to hear more on where you and your SO’s are based and your plans for closing the distance.
I am in Victoria, Australia and met a beautiful man in Sydney at a mutual friends birthday party. We hit it off straight away and tried the long distance thing for 18 months before calling time.
We are both single parents and unwilling to move at this stage due to co parenting arrangements. The option to close the distance is at least 10 years for us. I have an 8 year old son and 5 year old daughter and his son is almost 8. We still keep in touch via text occasionally and miss each other a lot. I find hope in hearing stories of long term LDR’s like yours.

[Jen72]

Wow , amazing love to hear more .

[Jen72]

Been almost 5years for me , its hard so id love to hear more of your story.

[xxcazaxx]

I met my OH whilst on holiday in India. He was leading a trip I was on. We got on and still chatted a bit when I got home but nothing came of it (at the time I thought that he had to be nice seeing as it was his job and he also said he couldn't say how he felt at the time because he didn't want to lose his job). A couple of years later I sent him a random message asking after him and things went from there. Hopefully things will come together in the next year or two. Plan is that we will save money and I will go there for a while and then hopefully go on to a new country for us both. When it's so long you definitely go through spells of what feels like hopelessness, especially at the moment when travel seems to be such a no no.

[theLDRstruggler]

Ooft! I would say I've been 2 years in a LDR with my guy but, as soon as COVID restrictions were kinda lifted where he is, a lady decided to ask him out, to which he said NO, but he went all awkward with me, saying he might be stopping someone else from giving me what I deserve..

After a week of no talking, he insists he loves me and misses me and would love to meet, but..... there's always a but.... WHEN? and then WHAT? and in the mean time?????? you know, all the doubts all at once.

I feel frustrated as he hasn't come and I don't really think he'll be able to do so any time soon, and right now I can't visit, because of the lack of money and because I'm not fully vaccinated yet..

It's such a frustrating struggle

I honestly thought we wouldn't last long, but two years now doesn't seem too long, but it's a long time for me..

[xxcazaxx]

2 years is a long time for everyone. I last saw my OH in November 2019 because of Covid. I thought that I was going to see him this November but we are now looking at it being next year (several reasons why). Guess that all we can all do is make sure that we are calling often and keeping in contact, but it is hard x

[artsyblue12]

New and Nervous

Yes. Relatively new to it. Worried that I won't be able to learn how to navigate quickly enough to not lose him. I suppose his response to my ideas is a good indicator, either good or bad. We had an amazing time together while he was in Maine. He is wonderful in so many ways. Still, guys are different than girls in navigating these things. I'm trying to surround myself with positive thoughts. Still, there are questions that only he can answer. Baseline is communication style, how often to facetime, ways to connect. I want this to work and he said that he's not going to give up. At the same time I feel him pulling away. I give him his space and don't send him a barrage of texts. Tomorrow, we are to have a deeper conversation. I'm scared of losing him and want to do this well. Thoughts? Suggestions?

[Rezie]

We've been doing this for over 9 years. After 5 years we lived together for a year when I went to study in his country. After 8 years he moved to live with me for a year to study. So technically it has been over 7 years. He was here but then decided to go home for Christmas and hasn't been able to come back due to covid. For us the distance has not really been a problem. I think in a weird way it worked for us. We got to do out own thing but also have nice fun chats and awesome holidays. Closing the distance really is a bitch. I feel when we started the distance was easy and we were young so there was no rush. We are not so young anymore and life has happened being built as individuals so it's turning out to be harder.

[Rezie]

After a week of no talking, he insists he loves me and misses me and would love to meet, but..... there's always a but.... WHEN? and then WHAT? and in the mean time?????? you know, all the doubts all at once.

I don't blame you at all. How would you react if you were to suggest specific dates? Not talking and then being relectant to meet is not a good sign. Have you directly asked whats up with that?

@artsyblue12 My advice is not to think of this as a guy/girl thing. Communication is very individual. Be open, tell him your needs and ask him about his. My bf wants to text a lot. But he has told me that he does not expect me to respond immediately. It really helped me to be less overwhelmed with the phone beeping. You don't have to change yourself or stop yourself inorder not to lose him. I think in the early days you shouldn't be too scared to lose him. You are seeing your compatibility!

[noura]

Have been for over a year now. Have its up and down, but i feel much better now