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    Older ldr

    Older woman with older man met 5 months ago online and knew we would be ok or at least he did.
    I cancelled our meeting because I was unsure, actually, that I was good enough. He's smart, handsome, well off and kind. They don't come along often.
    FInally flew up two months later and the chemistry, both physically and intellectually was instant. We had the time of our life. Yes, we slept together but have you read my age?? That part, too, was devine, and so were the next two days. I thought I had met "the guy".

    He wanted to meet again and texted with gusto but I kept canceling. Yes, I told him I was scared. He is divorced for 7 years and has lots of women friends. I grant him that. BUT now it is November and I think he's getting fed up. He doesnt initiate texts. But, answers mine.
    We both hate phone calls.

    He doesn't understand it but he also makes me nervous. Things he says like "how long do you intend to stay" and "I leave town on weekends".

    I told him I dont want a man with a M-F girl in another city so, forget it. He then tells me he has no one else but likes to be away from his boring environment on weekends.
    He also tries his best to work it out when I try and dump him. Go figure.

    I need to give him the benefit of a doubt but I am and have always been leery of him and his constant travel.

    I have no way of checking him out other than Truthfinders which doesn't exactly inform me of his private life and I'm hardly hiring a PI.

    I want to give him space but I don't want to lose him. I can afford to travel as can he.

    He said to visit two weekends after xmas.
    I said that is silly. 5 weeks is too long.

    Please tell me what this old lady should do.
    btw., Im 65 and hes 66.
    Last edited by Demodoll; November 12, 2022, 05:37 PM.

    #2
    Ask if you could go with him on one of his weekend trips.

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      #3
      Hi Jim and thank you for answering.
      Oh, I did, but he was always going to his preplanned trips to see old college buddies at ( I now count 6 cities and countries). My beef isnt that I wasnt invited but that he could have "preplanned" those trips to just go somewhere with me. Gaslighting is an art. I'd told him he was previously free one weekend and suddenly his friends had paid big money for him to attend something.
      i keep dumping him. He keeps acting as if he didn't see it.

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        #4
        Something sounds a little odd about it all. Have you had any further contact with him?


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          #5
          Originally posted by xxcazaxx View Post
          Something sounds a little odd about it all. Have you had any further contact with him?
          Yes, just back. Was emotionally abused for a week. It came out of the blue. The night before I left he couldn't wait to see me.

          He all but threw me out of his bed after making love, thereafter. I was far in the country and he left me for work every morning at 7am without so much as a kiss goodbye. He's a grown man (66. I 65)
          I only wished he would have cancelled our visit. Im still in shock. I can't imagine the 180°
          He also told me he had been sexually active and it was silly for me to have thought otherwise.
          I feel so useless.



          Last edited by Demodoll; December 28, 2022, 10:46 PM.

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