Gifts: Necessary or No?

[xMesmerize124]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
I do not think gifts are necessary in a relationship, but i do think its a nice thing to be given a gift or receiving a gift throughout a relationship. I guess its more like an optional thing

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
I am more a giver, i love the feeling of giving other gifts and there faces lighting up :]
But being given gifts is great too

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
Maybe every couple months gifts should be exchanged

[Kika]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
Of course not, but it's nice to receive them, who doesn't like attention? you don't need to eat chocolate all the time to know how much you love it, but it's nice to have it from time to time to remind yourself its flavour and think: it's amazing!

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
well, we buy each other proper gifts just for birthdays/christmas etc. I am the one who likes to buy/make small gifts (letters, photos, etc) and he is the one who spoils me with sweets, breakfasts to bed.

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
whenever you feel like making/buying and sending gifts. I would be happier to get a gift from heart once a year than to get flowers regularly just because someone says so.

[Talent_2]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?

I dont think gifts are necessary in any relationship, i just have fun trying to find him gifts that he doesnt have or that will amuse him or be sentimental to him.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?

I try to be the giver as i love surprising him, but due to lack of funds he tends to be the giver, i try and make up for it birthdays and Christmas though

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?

Birthdays and Christmases i always get him a gift or two no matter what but i do like to surprise him every now and then whenever i see something that he would really like or something that would make him smile

[Moon]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
No, not at all. The fact that he stays up way too late every night is enough of a gift for me, I KNOW he's thinking about me Besides, international shipping gets really expensive!

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
I'm more of the giver, but it's generally something I've made. He's uncomfortable with gift giving, so we aren't that into it.

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
I don't think there needs to be any specific time frame. I've given two gifts, and he's given me one in the last year and a half.

[sam]

He's told me he's got something for me when I go there in two weeks can't wait to see what it is ♥

Wait what..? I did?

[Zephii]

Interesting question

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
Yes. I think if a couple don't have at least the desire to give to each other there's probably something missing. Gifts don't have to cost money, or even take a lot of effort. And I don't think they need to be terribly frequent, but they should be there, in my opinion.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
Both, though I think to do it more often.

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
It varies. When we were long distance gifts were more important and more frequent. They were a way to show each other both love and new aspects of our personalities. Now, they happen less. We have less time and less need to give them. It's been *thinks* about 5 months since I've received a "just because" gift, and 2 months since I gave one. But we can do things for each other now, where at a distance we couldn't, so now instead of giving gifts I'll do a chore that he doesn't want to do, or I'll take him on a date or something.

[LadyMarchHare]

First post has been edited to clarify some things since I'm getting sick and tired of getting chewed out. If you have a misunderstanding with it now, PM me. I created this thread to ask a question, not get fed "my" words. Thank you.

[Zephii]

First post has been edited to clarify some things since I'm getting sick and tired of getting chewed out. If you have a misunderstanding with it now, PM me. I created this thread to ask a question, not get fed "my" words. Thank you.

This actually made me go back and read more of the responses. *smiles*

Whilst I'm on the "yes" bandwagon, I too have noticed a lot of people complaining they don't get gifts... and I wanted to add that while I think they are an important way of showing affection, I would never actually ASK for one. That boggles my mind... especially women asking for flowers. I just don't get it. I don't want to derail the thread, but I would like to know what the go with that is. I mean, it's not special since you asked for it, he's giving flowers because he has to, they are not at all practical, he's giving you something that's dying o.O and besides that they are stupidly expensive. I've gotten flowers twice, and it was a sweet gesture and everything, but I guess I don't see the significance?
I'd rather be given something useful any day.

I'm also not sure people wanting to receive gifts makes them materialistic. I'm one of the least materialistic people I know and I still want gifts They don't have to cost anything, hell it's better if they don't! That way it shows a real effort.

I don't know... just some more random thoughts.
Carrots xx

[Rosebud]

Whilst I'm on the "yes" bandwagon, I too have noticed a lot of people complaining they don't get gifts... and I wanted to add that while I think they are an important way of showing affection, I would never actually ASK for one. That boggles my mind... especially women asking for flowers. I just don't get it. I don't want to derail the thread, but I would like to know what the go with that is. I mean, it's not special since you asked for it, he's giving flowers because he has to, they are not at all practical, he's giving you something that's dying o.O and besides that they are stupidly expensive. I've gotten flowers twice, and it was a sweet gesture and everything, but I guess I don't see the significance?
I'd rather be given something useful any day.

Speaking from personal experience we don't all covet resourcefulness in gifts

I can't speak for other women but I will give my own opinion on why I find flowers to be so important, that I love even when, yes, I have to hint at him to get for me. I told him on our first meeting I wanted a rose. I didn't need a whole bouqet or anything fancy. It could have been a rose he picked from his garden on his walk over to meet me for all I cared. But the rose is my favorite flower (oh the cliche madness! Haha, I know ) and for me his giving it to me has nothing to do with practicality, but rather the fact that he took the time to actually listen to what's important to me and what would bring me that extra spark to our meeting. That by remembering it he knows what is special to me, what brings a smile to my face even when I was nervous.

In the end he didn't bring a rose on our first day together and I'll be honest that I was so distracted at that point I completely forgot about it xD BUT, on our second day together at a Ren Faire he surprised me with a paper rose, and I'll say yes, my heart just about skipped three beats. The fact that he remembered, that he cares about such trivial details such as my favorite flower, means loads to me. I still have that flower sitting by me on my desk and I smile every time I see it. I don't think it matter to some people that they sometimes have to ask their SO to send them flowers or gifts. After all, their SO still has the option of not sending anything at all. But by choosing to do so shows that they are listening to what's important to their partners. Maybe by nature they just aren't the gift-giving type, but by doing so anyway even if they have to be reminded, shows they know it's important and it doesn't devalue the gift in the end.

[Zephii]

That makes a lot of sense Thanks!

[Moon]

While I stand more in the LMH camp on this issue, this is a very personal preference, without any right or wrong answer. It's all in how you look at it, y'know? I have seen a lot of posts on here where people are very upset because they either don't get gifts often enough, or when they do, they whine because it wasn't the RIGHT gift, and it wasn't good enough. Those are the annoying posts where you think that person just isn't in it for the right reasons.

Gifts or no gifts, whatever works for ya! Every relationship is different, I'm kinda surprised at how sensitive this issue is

[Zephii]

I'm kinda surprised at how sensitive this issue is

Same, though I'm thinking it's because no body wants to think of themselves as selfish.

[agentholli]

I love to give gifts. I always say I don't want any gifts, but deep down..i really do want gifts. I have always been the one in the relationship to give gifts, and never get any in return. In my closet I have Christmas presents, Valentines presents, and his birthday present..we still haven't met yet so i can give them to him. I asked him to make me a necklace to go in my car..and he still hasn't yet it would be nice to get something in return. It really would. It might make me sound matierliestic, but i really am not. Just would be nice to be thought about sometimes.

[lisaar910]

Do you believe gifts are necessary (i.e. 'have to give them in order to be healthy' ) in a relationship?
Not at all. Gifts are only good when they're not expected.

Are you the giver or the gift-getter?
Both

How often do you think gifts should be given/how often have you given/received gifts?
Whenever you want. Will and I have been more into being together or doing nice things together or for each other than giving gifts lately since we're trying to save money. I find that I get more out of that than giving/receiving gifts. I do love sending cards though. He's always surprised and happy for hours after he gets one in the mail.

[LadyMarchHare]

I love to give gifts. I always say I don't want any gifts, but deep down..i really do want gifts. I have always been the one in the relationship to give gifts, and never get any in return. In my closet I have Christmas presents, Valentines presents, and his birthday present..we still haven't met yet so i can give them to him. I asked him to make me a necklace to go in my car..and he still hasn't yet it would be nice to get something in return. It really would. It might make me sound matierliestic, but i really am not. Just would be nice to be thought about sometimes.

I understand that completely and no, it doesn't make you materialistic. You've asked for one gift, not three million every month or done his shopping for him for you. I think in these cases there needs to be a game invented where you make something and then 'tag' your SO and see what they come up with on a theme or from certain materials.

Moon: I really am too. In all honesty it was an innocent question I thought up before bed since, gasp, I do tend to think about the fact I haven't gotten a gift yet and how I react vs how I've seen others react here and elsewhere and just wanted to see what others thought. But hey, I guess I'm the drama llama of the forum these days, yeah?