When everything gets to you...

[1_click_away]

I agree with the above posters. I just had my first REALLY hard day a few days ago, tears and all......We have our weekly cam sessions and for the 2rd week in a row they were cancelled or cut short due to him being called in for work. Just really put the tip on the iceberg.....also not having really talked about re-locating possibilities etc. The uncertainty and doubts CONSUME you at times! I know we've all been there. I just mentioned to him that I was having a really bad day.....and maybe gave him to good old smiley face with the tear, and he knew right away. TALK TO YOUR SO! I can't even tell you how much better I felt after he re-assured me and we made plans...to make plans lol if that makes any sense. It defintely brought us closer.....and he admitted to me that he often feels the same way but just bottles it up. A lot of guys do that I think......so I'm sure he's feeling the same way at times but is just not letting on. It's so completely normal to have doubts, ESPECIALLY in an LDR. Thank God for these posts where we can all relate and understand where people in the same situation are gonig though.

I really like the idea of writing down all the good things, and you can just bring that back out whenever you're feeling down and out or pessimistic. I also think it wouldn't be a bad idea to write down all the negative either......write it down the thought.....and the worst case scenario that would happen in that situation.....it's often not as bad as we let our minds think it would be. and maybe if you wrote down all that negative you could rip it up.....or BURN it! (safely of course LOL) but that way you feel like you really got that stuff out and it's gone now.....if that makes sense. Get it off your chest and out of your mind! Then get out the positive list, call him and tell him how much you love him

[Tanja]

Hello and welcome!

Don't feel guilty about your worries/doubts, they are perfectly normal and every single couple on here knows exactly what you're on about... You just have to find your own way to deal with these feelings when they get the best of you, for some people it's hanging out with friends, some watch films, some read books, some study or get a job, some get new hobbies...

Also don't forget to remind yourself of the GOOD and POSITIVE moments you've shared together... List the things you love about him and think of all the things in your relationship that make you happy.

Being an active member of the LFAD family also definitely helps!

[angel85]

Hello everyone ,

Iam new here and iam in a long distance relationship also and in this month will be 5 months . Sometimes it seems hard . I never been in relationship that is faraway . Some people don't even understand me . They would say its nothing serious but I know deep down inside me its real . I value alot the communication we have . Yes we all have doubts . Its to be there for eachother . In this all I feel I found my soulmate .

[London-FortCollins]

Rusty you are so spot on.

That is exactly what me and my SO other do. We agreed REALLY early on, when we just moved on from being friends that we would share everything that was on our minds.

We became close because of how much we shared and we'd both had issues with non-communication in previous relationships.

And no matter HOW hard it is to share or tell something the thought of not telling him and breaking a promise we made is even worse.

You will sometimes find yourself saying "I know this 'seem like much but we agreed to tell each other everything and I'm feeling...."

I promise it does work. Also definitly get those photos up EVERYWHERE you can so when your not even expecting it you see your SO's face smiling back at you. Everyone at work thinks I'm super cheezy because I have a travel mug with a montage of pictures and even a skin for my phone with photos on, But having him on everyday objects so I see his face all the time really does make me smile and helps a little bit knowing he's "at work" with me

Also loving the list idea. I think I might steal that, maybe keep a little notebook so I can write down things as they happen or occur to me.

I tell you what really has helped me too. Is while I'm feeling anything negative is to write it down. As a diary entry, letter to yourself or even a letter to them. Get it out - get it ALL out. It doesnt even have to make sense just spill out all the words and feelings.

Then sleep on it (as in go to bed....you dont literally have to sleep ON the letter! )

Re-read it in the morning if you want, or just throw it away completly. I wouldnt recommend keeping it. Its a venting exercise to get it out of your head and help you think clearer. Sometimes you can re-read it and it might bring any actual issues or things you want to discuss to light but after that get rid of it.

And sleep on it because its true what your mother says...things always do look better in the morning!

[justbreathe]

Thank you all so, so, SO much for replying! It makes me feel so good that there are people feeling the same way I do. I wish we all lived near one another so we can talk about these types of things!

It seems like the best option would be for me to get busy. I'm thinking of ideas and planning on adopting some of the suggestions in this post too!

amari77, I did read your entire post. I think you should definitely post a thread asking for advice for your situation. I think you answered yourself though... you should definitely speak to your SO!

[Andy]

I agree, getting busy is always a good idea

Especially when it's some sort of project that you can work on and build up over time. The less active you are, the more time your mind has to think about things and that can be very bad for you sometimes

Good luck in finding something to get busy with!

[London-FortCollins]

Oh new ideas to keep you busy.

Get those digital photos organised! I'm being really anal about them...I just spent the entire weekend getting them organised chronologically AND listing them so I can find things easily.

Next weekend I have spare time to fill....organising the hard copies that are already printed the same way and working out which ones I still need to print!

Its very time consuming if you have lots of photos - which is great! I aim to have them all (and my videos) organised before I go to see my SO.

In all honesty I think time is against me!

[true_survivor_586]

i had this problem, when the one army couple i was talking to to help me though this started cheating and now are getting a divorce i came HERE, see when i see these couples breaking up i just think(like about my friends) i love him way to much to ever cheat on him and i know he doesnt even have the time to but if he did he still wouldnt, i kinda put myself above those who fail , cause if i compair myself to them i will fail just like they did. thats how i look at it, i know its odd