Ignorance is Ugly

[Stubborn Hope]

So I'm sure many of your have heard the possible explanations of the existance of LDRs - the couple doesn't want to commit, or they want to have a safety net, or they have some ulterior motive, etc, etc, and so on and so forth.

This is, yes, hurtful, and yes, infinitely annoying. But these ignorant responses can usually be delt with through insightful, friendly education. You can go through why the particular myth is untrue in your case, and/or in other LDR cases you're aware of.

I overheard a new one today, though, that just really got to me.

"The only reason she's in a long distance relationship is because she's ugly. He's probably ugly too. They can't get anything else, and they don't actually have to find each other attractive."

How do you argue with that? Show them pictures and be like, "See? We're not too bad."

It angers me that someone would assume my SO is ugly because I'm dating him from a distance. I mean, judge me all you want, but not him.

Grrr...

[Snowy.Winter]

When I was in high school a few years ago, one of the guys in my class that was always nasty about my relationship, asked me was my SO blind because he was going out with me.

[faith5x5nomore]

Oh I know all this to well, I always hear things like you chased him away or if he really loved you he wouldn't have left... People who haven't been in our shoes don't understand, thats exactly why I come to this site. Here you know that you can talk to people that can relate to your situation. Ignorance is everywhere ! When people don't understand they should keep their thoughts to themselves or ask questions if they are curious but to hell with anyone who wants to pass judgement. Sorry but it's one subject that gets me fired up.

[Silviar]

Ok, I know that's incredibly rude and hurtful, but if someone said that to me, I would probably laugh my ass off. I mean, that's so ridiculous it sounds like a 5 year old! "You're going out with a gi-irl cuz you're uh-gly!" XD

[MoonWatcher]

Wow. Sounds like that person wouldn't know a real relationship if it came up and bit 'em in the rump-roast.

[Zephii]

"The only reason she's in a long distance relationship is because she's ugly. He's probably ugly too. They can't get anything else, and they don't actually have to find each other attractive."

Funnily enough, this is actually true for some LDRs... or mine at least! We both had physical attributes that hindered dating IRL. We learnt to find each other attractive on the inside first *Shrugs*

I don't argue when people come up with ridiculous anti-LDR stuff. I laugh, agree with them and say "Yeah, but we're happy so who cares?". No use in letting them get you down!

[Caidsys]

People usually just give me an odd look when I say I'm in an LDR or do the oh so popular. "Oh..." I've found people are actually generally more jealous because in the LDR I'm in now and the one I was in before apparently have worked out much better then most of people close distance relationships. My sister for example used to tell me my ex and I made her extremely angry because we were 'too' happy with each other and willing to work things out and in her words were too 'perfect'. I only got the chance to tell her about Reese last weekend and she seemed alright about it this time around though she was surprised I wasn't dating a girl. Because I've only dated women for the past close to three years? o.o But seemed pretty happy that I'm happy.

[mllebamako]

for international relationships: People always assuming he's with my just to get an visa for the US.

Gotta love that one...

[Thad]

Sounds like someone who couldn't have a relationship if it came up and bit them in the a$$ -- close or long-distance.

That's pretty flawed logic. Can you even call it logic?!?

Wow. Its a good thing there are so many of us here that know that's not true!

[totalspiffage]

This happened twice to me in two days and it's really not helping with the stress. I know exactly how you feel. ;sa gkdja;d yes. >_< I'm so fed up with people being ignorant.

[dynomitegurl]

for international relationships: People always assuming he's with my just to get an visa for the US.

Gotta love that one...

heard that one before!

[Stubborn Hope]

It's nothing short of awesome to be here... So much understanding and support! Not to mention advice and fantastic ideas.


I have to wonder why there is so much negativity surrounding LDRs... Who decided that they're a bad idea? Is it purely anger at something most people don't understand?

[LadyMarchHare]

I haven't gotten the ugly comment (yet) but I did get told the only reason my SO was dating me was to take my virginity and the only reason I was with him was because I was a whore. Explain the logic of a LDR = lots of sex to me. This was made by my ex-best friend. You can see why she's an ex now.

[Stubborn Hope]

The virgin = whore part confuses me...

[LadyMarchHare]

The virgin = whore part confuses me...

You and me both. It was a jealousy issue with her and she was obsessed with getting laid so I guess that was her projecting wants onto me or whatever.