School Bullying

[LadyMarchHare]

I was bullied growing up as well. And unfortunately, telling a bullied kid to stand up for themselves is often the worst advice. Because, odds are, they're trying to, and it's not making a lick of difference.

For starters, you really should have a word with an administrator or a teacher with whom you have a good relationship and can help you deal with what is likely to be a bunch of administrative BS. The problem with "zero tolerance" policies is that schools are often reluctant to then act upon them. However, all actions have consequences, and these kids need to learn that. It might make life worse for your son for a while, but I think in the long run (the very long run), it'll turn out okay. His friends will side with him and know he did the right thing. And if only a few are with him, well, it's better than none. Small victories, Luce. Small victories.

Furthermore, what business of theirs is your personal life? Your son is allowed to share news of his life, but they have no right to judge him or mock him mercilessly for his parents' lives. Or his, really, but that's not the point right now.

I agree with the first statement. And really having them stand up with even a nice 'f u' is not going to fix anything. Goodness knows it made things worse for me growing up. Ignoring it's the best option but it's also the hardest, especially when they're "cracking wise" about your mom.

I'm hesitant to agree with telling administration as unless it's severe they don't do much and it, like standing up, can actually make it worse. But that's my pessimistic view, it could end up differently who knows.

[Karringtyn]

It has went from bad to worse.

A friend encouraged him to talk to a counselor today at school...My son had told the coach yesterday that they BOYS didn't do the things he had said..because his "friends" begged him not to.

Today the coach found out my son had lied to him....

He made the other 4 boys run at practise...which in turn made his "friends" furious for being ratted out...so they told the coach that my son had started it by saying one of their Mom's is a MILF. You would have to know my son...he is sooo quiet and shy and worries about others before himself...so it was a lie..

My poor 13 year old son is a pile of worry...fallen asleep on the floor next to me and nothing I can do about it...

Who would have thought this all would have come out of a rude comment from a young kid about a LDR?!

[LadyMarchHare]

How the hell do they know what a MILF is to begin with? Geeze, the stuff they pick up! And if the teacher/coach knew your son enough they could have easily seen through that lie.

I'd be calling some parents about that MILF comment, man. If my 13 year old knew what that was and used it in a lie I'd paddle their butt until they have to lay on their desks for a week.

[Karringtyn]

OMG Milf is MILD what is said in schools these days...

The truth will come out in the next few days....it's just been a horrible day.

[LadyMarchHare]

I know, but it still floors me what they say. I didn't even know there was a bisexual preference until high school and that was because a friend said she was. I guess I'm just one of those sheltered people.

At any rate, I'm so sorry you two are going through that. Middle school's tough, heck school in general is tough but at least he has an awesome mom like you to help him out.

[Karringtyn]

I know, but it still floors me what they say. I didn't even know there was a bisexual preference until high school and that was because a friend said she was. I guess I'm just one of those sheltered people.

At any rate, I'm so sorry you two are going through that. Middle school's tough, heck school in general is tough but at least he has an awesome mom like you to help him out.

thank you that means a lot.

This is bringing back A LOT of my own personal pain from when I was teased in school...and I hate that I can't protect my son. It hurts.

[LadyMarchHare]

You are protecting him, he knows that and I'm sure he appreciates it. Sometimes we give the world and feel like we gave nothing, but the recipient knows the truth.

[Karringtyn]

You are protecting him, he knows that and I'm sure he appreciates it. Sometimes we give the world and feel like we gave nothing, but the recipient knows the truth.

thank you once again. You are saying exactly what I need to hear.

[LadyMarchHare]

I've been in that situation and seen what my mom went through with me in them, so I know where you're coming from. You're a good woman and a strong one, you'll get through this and so will he.

[paulawriteslove]

Bullying is horrible! I am so sorry, but it sounds like your kids like your SO and that's all that matters. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks Best of luck!

[Andy]

Ah man, I'm so sorry you and your kid are going through this Luce. I have to agree with the comment about telling the kid who's being bullied to stand up for themselves, it just doesn't work in most cases. I was never bullied thankfully, but if I would've been then there's no way I would've stood up to them myself.

That MILF lie is quite something though, that's just horrible.

Is he getting grief from these kids every day?

How the hell do they know what a MILF is to begin with? Geeze, the stuff they pick up! And if the teacher/coach knew your son enough they could have easily seen through that lie.

I'd be calling some parents about that MILF comment, man. If my 13 year old knew what that was and used it in a lie I'd paddle their butt until they have to lay on their desks for a week.

You'd be surprised... I saw a program with Tanja about kids attitudes towards sex and porn at some schools in the UK - the people making the show showed some of the porn the kids had admitted to watching to a group of parents and it was pretty horrific apparently, a lot of it illegal for starters. The parents were shocked to say the least. And this was from ages 11+.

[LadyMarchHare]

Great now I feel like I am an innocent little thing. XD Maybe it didn't pay to not hang out with kids my own age a bunch.

Call me old-fashioned (lol like I'm old enough) but kids at 11 need to be breaking Barbies and G.I. Joes, still chewing on Legos, and eating ketchup with everything, not watching porn or learning stuff like MILF.

[Andy]

Haha! XD

I quite agree... but the internet is an awful place

It's just so so SO easy these days for anyone to see porn. Even at schools I'd imagine. So anyone with even a little curiousity and who doesn't mind clicking the "I am over 18" button can see plenty of things they probably shouldn't for a fair few years yet... sadly I can't see it getting any better, in all honesty probably only even worse.

[LadyMarchHare]

Each generation/decade of children has its faults. With technology it kinda opens the floodgates to innocence lost and so they pick up on new things to bully each other about, like being virgins or having not seen x graphic video because they're 'chicken' and so on. But even with this information super-highway they're still wholly ignorant which is what led to the kid using Luce's relationship as fodder for being an ass. Between what they hear mommy and daddy saying and what the 'interwebs' says, they'll spout anything and believe it.

[Andy]

Each generation/decade of children has its faults. With technology it kinda opens the floodgates to innocence lost and so they pick up on new things to bully each other about, like being virgins or having not seen x graphic video because they're 'chicken' and so on. But even with this information super-highway they're still wholly ignorant which is what led to the kid using Luce's relationship as fodder for being an ass. Between what they hear mommy and daddy saying and what the 'interwebs' says, they'll spout anything and believe it.

I don't think you're really only 20.

You're like our LFAD Yoda - but speak like this, you do not

Hands up if you read that last sentence in Yoda's voice