Nerves kicking in...

[Tanja]

... BECAUSE as many of you know in 2,5 weeks I'm flying to Wales to meet Andy's family and parents for the very first time.... Needless to say I'm freaking out about it!!!

I'm worried I'll say something wrong, I'll embarrass myself, won't make a good first impression, accidentally insult them (anyone who knows me knows that isn't out of the question - I often speak before I think... )

I'm just super nervous! His mum already seems to think I'm perfect and sweet and the best daughter-in-law () so I feel quite pressured as well that I'll disappoint them...

I just want it all to go smoothly and I want them to like me, I've spoken to them before and they're super nice, I can't wait to meet them. I'm just scared I'll screw it up.

What adds to it is that I'll be flying alone for the first time AND I'm going to Andy's graduation party and meet all his friends as well! Aaaaaaaargh, I can't take it!

!!!

[JoMarie]

It's very normal to be nervous. I think you are a fantastic person and you'll do wonderfully!

[Tanja]

Awwww thanks Jo! I wish there was a way I could make sure I won't say something stupid... Like a little device that shocks me every time I'm about to open my mouth without thinking

[michy]

Just be yourself Tanja... what's not to like!!
I know, that doesn't help the nerves though, does it! And to be honest, probably nothing will, aside from self-assurances and relaxation and just plain getting through it! I had the same feeling back in May, when I met his parents for the first time. At the time, Scott & I knew we were getting married but at that point we hadn't announced it to his family & friends yet (we wanted for me to meet his parents before telling them)... and I was quite nervous! I mean, there was no rational reason for me to think they wouldn't like me, and I had already been emailing with his mom to get to know her and that was going great... but... it was just SO immensely important to me that they like me!! After all, I was going to be marrying their son! I felt like I'd be on trial for one day only and if I said/did something wrong I'd not get another chance to fix it, since that was the only time I'd see them until our wedding.
One thing that helped a lot was finding a few little things I had in common with them. For example, I'm a tenpin bowling coach and his parents used to be really into bowling... also they are antiques dealers, and my grandmother ran an antiques shop for years... so it was easy to get started talking about those common interests and then go from there.
Between that, and also with emailing his mom beforehand, the only time I was really nervous about it was while waiting for the meeting to happen! As soon as I was there, his mom gave me a hug and they made me feel like family, and I could hardly even remember why I'd been nervous about meeting such nice people

[sam]

Hah, you'll be fine

Not only do you have the stuff you spoke about to deal with, you also have the actual flight.. which I remember you not being too keen on

You'll be alright
How long are you there for?

[nicole]

Really Tanja, it is natural to be nervous.... but you know in the UK, the whole "Meet the parents" thing isn't that bad. My SO is panicking about it already and he's got another few months to prepare (honestly he's been reading up on things my dad is interested in- that bad).

UK parents are pretty chill with these things, and by the sounds of it, they a sound perfectly lovely people. I don't think they'll mind or take offense if you accidentally say something, I mean our sense of humour mostly comprises of us insulting each other anyway, so I don't think you've got much to worry about .

I'll tell you what my parents said about my SO 'Just be yourself and don't be nervous- we'll love him no matter what" They have seen how much Andy absolutely adores you, how could they not love you too!

[mllebamako]

Tanja-like everyone else has said, it's fine to be nervous. You want things to go well between you and his family, quite normal. Just breathe and be yourself. It seems like they already love you and they know how happy you have made Andy, so I'm sure it will go well! At least Andy will be there to support you through all of this. My first time meeting my SO's immediate family, I was completely alone with them for 5 days (it's complicated). But as nervous as I was, it all went well. Plus, I loved meeting them and seeing where he grew up. It was like I understood him so much more and felt closer to him.
I also remember the day that my SO met my parents. It goes down as one of the *BEST* days of my life. To have the people who I love so much come together and love each other...it was heaven! So don't forget to enjoy it and relish in the fact that you will be part of his family.

[Moon]

Tanja, you're gonna be just fine They already like you, you aren't going to screw anything up. I'd say stop worrying, but I know that's impossible, so just try to keep it as controlled as you can, so you don't drive yourself too crazy. You're going to love every minute of your trip, really, I promise

[michy]

I'll tell you what my parents said about my SO 'Just be yourself and don't be nervous- we'll love him no matter what" They have seen how much Andy absolutely adores you, how could they not love you too!

True- parents really just want to see their son/daughter happy... when they see how happy you make Andy and how great you two are together... they will love you too

[Tanja]

Just be yourself Tanja... what's not to like!!
I know, that doesn't help the nerves though, does it! And to be honest, probably nothing will, aside from self-assurances and relaxation and just plain getting through it! I had the same feeling back in May, when I met his parents for the first time. At the time, Scott & I knew we were getting married but at that point we hadn't announced it to his family & friends yet (we wanted for me to meet his parents before telling them)... and I was quite nervous! I mean, there was no rational reason for me to think they wouldn't like me, and I had already been emailing with his mom to get to know her and that was going great... but... it was just SO immensely important to me that they like me!! After all, I was going to be marrying their son! I felt like I'd be on trial for one day only and if I said/did something wrong I'd not get another chance to fix it, since that was the only time I'd see them until our wedding.
One thing that helped a lot was finding a few little things I had in common with them. For example, I'm a tenpin bowling coach and his parents used to be really into bowling... also they are antiques dealers, and my grandmother ran an antiques shop for years... so it was easy to get started talking about those common interests and then go from there.
Between that, and also with emailing his mom beforehand, the only time I was really nervous about it was while waiting for the meeting to happen! As soon as I was there, his mom gave me a hug and they made me feel like family, and I could hardly even remember why I'd been nervous about meeting such nice people

Yeah... I've been trying to think of something we might have in common and there's like... nothing!
His mum is into crafting which I totally suck at and don't even like it (for the obvious reason: I suck at it ) and his dad is into golf, football and Mini's - hmmmmmmm I'm in trouble!

Really Tanja, it is natural to be nervous.... but you know in the UK, the whole "Meet the parents" thing isn't that bad. My SO is panicking about it already and he's got another few months to prepare (honestly he's been reading up on things my dad is interested in- that bad).

UK parents are pretty chill with these things, and by the sounds of it, they a sound perfectly lovely people. I don't think they'll mind or take offense if you accidentally say something, I mean our sense of humour mostly comprises of us insulting each other anyway, so I don't think you've got much to worry about .

I'll tell you what my parents said about my SO 'Just be yourself and don't be nervous- we'll love him no matter what" They have seen how much Andy absolutely adores you, how could they not love you too!

Thanks Nicole!

I want to believe you know what you're on about and they are laid back and won't get offended easily... It's not them I worry about so much though, it's me

Hah, you'll be fine

Not only do you have the stuff you spoke about to deal with, you also have the actual flight.. which I remember you not being too keen on

You'll be alright
How long are you there for?

You remember correctly, I'm dreading the flight... :S
Just gotta have a few (=a bucket load of) drinks before I board I suppose!

I'm there for a week, wish I could stay longer... But I'm sure we'll have plenty of time to see lots of stuff

[paulawriteslove]

I remember the first time I met Ryan's parents in person and I was FREAKING OUT! I was so nervous that something could go wrong. But once I saw them and they gave me a hug, everything went well Don't let your nerves get the best of you You're going to have a blast!

[elina]

I'm sure Andy's family will love you You'll be fine, don't worry

Can do a load of stuff in one week! Got anything planned so far?

[Silviar]

I know what it's like - even knowing Matt's mom liked me beforehand, I was so nervous about meeting his family. Take deep breaths, and celebrate that you've reached another stage in your relationship. It's ok to be nervous, but let them see you, not nervous you. And above all - have a great time. It'll help.

[Karringtyn]

Just be YOU! Honey you love Andy...and everyone will see that and it will be enough.


I think you are pretty fab myself!

[Tanja]

So don't forget to enjoy it and relish in the fact that you will be part of his family.

That's the part I love the most - I know that I'm going to be a part of their family now, like really, physically be there... It makes it all seem real and beautiful.

Tanja, you're gonna be just fine They already like you, you aren't going to screw anything up. I'd say stop worrying, but I know that's impossible, so just try to keep it as controlled as you can, so you don't drive yourself too crazy. You're going to love every minute of your trip, really, I promise

Haha thanks Moon, you're right I can't stop worrying but I'll try to behave... I'm used to being the center of attention and I'm known as quite a joker but I guess I need to tone it down a bit with them

True- parents really just want to see their son/daughter happy... when they see how happy you make Andy and how great you two are together... they will love you too

Awwww thank you

I remember the first time I met Ryan's parents in person and I was FREAKING OUT! I was so nervous that something could go wrong. But once I saw them and they gave me a hug, everything went well Don't let your nerves get the best of you You're going to have a blast!

I just wanna fast forward to that hug that makes me all relaxed!

Can do a load of stuff in one week! Got anything planned so far?

Andy's gonna start planning when he gets home... He wanted to take me to a football game but there isn't any nearby when I'm there

But I don't wanna see/do anything too special, I just wanna see his house and the town he lives in, his University and meet his family and friends etc...
Well there is this HUGE mall I wanna go to, don't remember the name now though

Andy was joking that there's probably gonna be a queue at their door with all the people wanting to see this "exotic Finnish girl" - I'm thinking about pretending to not speak any English