Haven't been here in a while, but...

[totalspiffage]

I've just started college about two months ago, so I've been so a;sdkfads by that. But I think I'm in need of a little support. I've been breaking down lately quite often. It's funny. I'm not homesick at all, but I miss him to death.

He's in the army right now. Mandatory 2 years in Singapore. I'm missing him so much. He was off last week, and that was really great. He's off most weekends and at home then so we can call. But I don't wanna have to wait two years til we can see each other...

I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, but I can't focus. I've made an appointment to talk to the school's counseling services in about a week, but I'm really not doing well, if I'm honest. I don't wanna have to live this uncertainty. We've been through so much already with almost 3 years under our belts. I just want to be with him again.

And it doesn't help that I've had to explain my relationship twice this week and both times I got the laughing it off reaction, as if I'm either a) crazy or b) stupid.

I know I've come back to the right place and I can't believe I didn't come back sooner.

[LadyMarchHare]

I think what you're feeling is the stress of college + missing your SO + him being in the army attacking you all at once, which is quite normal. You have your own life to deal with plus the relationship and then worrying about him in the service and how he's doing day to day. I'm guessing communication's all but zilch at the moment too?

It's good you've made an appointment with a counselor, this is all normal stress so it's not like you're broken. Plus talking it out might help a bit, they could even suggest ways to lighten your load in one aspect so you have a little breathing room. As for those people, to hell with 'em. They can laugh all they want but I bet they don't have what you do with your SO.

Good luck hon and I hope you feel better, you deserve it!

[Silviar]

Good choice for the counseling, I hope it goes well. Let us know what came out of it, ok?

Sometimes in life our choices make us really stressed out - but they can be worth it. Sounds like school and your SO are two of them.

[paulawriteslove]

Take a deep breath. College is definitely stressful, until you get a schedule set. Don't worry about what others say about your LDR. They don't matter, just let that give you the strength to do prove them wrong

[Andy]

I can relate to this somewhat.

College is hard enough on its own without having an LDR to go with it. A couple of years ago I needed lung surgery - as things happened it interrupted my 2nd year exams and I had to defer for a year. I had no friends in the year I was re-joining after Christmas, plus I'd gone some 9-10 months without studying, and as anyone who knows will tell you, it takes a while to settle back into the swing of things again, it doesn't just happen right away.

So after about a month or 2 I was struggling quite badly. I couldn't get to grips with the work, or my insane cluster of deadlines I'd had thrust upon me so I had a meeting with 2 of my lecturers. I just needed telling that I could do this. They both told me I could get a 2:2 if I get my head down, and I'd have bitten their arm off if they'd have offered me that back then. I just wanted to scrape through the end of the year and start again for my final year at Uni.

I was also missing Tanja terribly. I just wanted to be with her and I looked at whether moving to Finland was a realistic alternative although I soon realised that was a knee-jerk reaction and I wanted to get my degree.

I got my act together, made a couple of good, hard-working friends, and I ended up coming out of there with a 1st, and I'm telling you now, BOTH of thos lecturers would've put their house on me not getting a 1st back then

I think you've made the right decision in going to talk to someone. My Uni was great for dealing with stressed students, there was advice all over the place, they did drop-in sessions and all-sorts. If they think it's worth it, maybe they'd be able to negotiate some extensions to any deadlines you may have, or something similar which may be beneficial to you, until you get back on top of things.

As for your relationship, you've been together for 3 years. It's a long time. If you've made it that far together then I'm sure you can make it through this. Is there any chance of seeing him during this mandatory service?

And I'm sorry to hear about the comments you received, but people like that deserve to have no notice taken of them whatsoever.

Remember this: those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind

[totalspiffage]

Thank you all for your advice. I knew it was wise to spill my guts here. *hugs*

Andy, yeah there might be a possible chance now that he's in leadership camp, but we'll see how it goes as the year progresses. The only person in our families that know about us is my mum(who lives near Aberystwyth, Wales, btw haha) and she's offered to help with the financial burden because she knows how much he means to me. Hopefully I can do a year abroad next year in Wales and if he gets time off, we can just help him to go there and stay with my family, which would ease the money situation significantly. Unfortunately, it's a longshot, and we're both saving vigorously!

The best I can hope for is to do brilliantly in school, get a scholarship and perhaps study abroad there. At least I can see him on weekends, which is more than I could dream of! haha.

I can hope, though. And that's what keeps us both going.