Marriage Material?

[garnet]

Before Rane and I closed the distance, I felt this way.
I had been married for 11 years prior to my LDR. Getting a divorce in my 20s instead of having babies or buying a house already seemed like a step backwards. Then getting in an international LDR, super slooooow motion life seemed to become. It was very frustrating. I wanted to have those 11 years back. I wanted to get on with life with Rane, and not via email. It's rough to watch those around you bounce so easily from one step to the next, often taking it all for granted. :/

[Riyko]

When I was in my relationship I felt like that because we we're together for 3 years 1 month before we broke up and I felt like everyone else was going to be happy and I never was, all of my friends are either married, engaged or having kids it hurt and made me sad, so I completely understand what your going through.

[LadyMarchHare]

Haha I know I get this look on my face that makes people shut up right away when they talk about missing their SO even though they've been apart for a whole freaking day and I get all sarcastic with faux sympathy. I know, I'm super mean but I wear my anger and frustration on my sleeve when it comes to this stuff.

You and me both. Can only be troopers about it so long.

[CrazySquirrel]

I wonder about marriage all the time. We're so different! We finally have a chance to be together again in December, but... things haven't been going smooth in our relationship lately. And I have to make the ultimate decision: marry him to stay together (we'll both be military by January) or break up for good :/

[BrittBlaz]

I know how you feel too. I don't feel the pressure to get married yet though because I am only 21. It just seems like a lot of people I knew in high school are gettin married very early. Even some friends I had in high school have 2 kids already. I personally think it's crazy because they are so young and have so much time yet. I have about 4 total more years of school left so to me that is in about the perfect time frame till I decide that marriage will really be an option. Can't rule out the unexpected though I guess. When it happens it happens.

[sabby64]

I'm only 19 :P So no real issues for me. A couple of my friends from high school have already gotten engaged and married, but it doesn't really bother me. Hell, my SO's old girlfriend is getting married already, and she's a year younger then me. I think that getting married or settling down at this age is WAYYY too early (trust me, I know from experience) And kids? I've already promised not to have kids this early, since my mom had me at this age and it screwed the rest of her life up.

Since I wasn't planning on settling down or doing any real life planning until after University, and my SO plans on graduating with me, I think I'll be alright in terms of pressure from other people's relationships.

[NikkiP]

I guess my biggest issue lately is looking at our worlds and wondering how they are ever going to collide. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy, it's just that our lives are different. I guess that's the difference between someone who's been single and somebody who's come out of a 5 year relationship with all of this "real property" *Grumbles*. And then I remember that I have this awesome chance as I am starting my life over to make it however the hell I want to. If that means adjusting and moving backwards a little bit (living in an apartment instead of owning a home, etc.) to be on the same page? I'm sure as heck gonna try...

[bittersweetexistencethere]

Haha I know I get this look on my face that makes people shut up right away when they talk about missing their SO even though they've been apart for a whole freaking day and I get all sarcastic with faux sympathy. I know, I'm super mean but I wear my anger and frustration on my sleeve when it comes to this stuff.

I get so insanely angry when people do this. There's a couple who is incredibly overdramatic, and they'll be at different tables in the lunchroom and talking about how "far away" from each other they are, and I'm sitting there going "Can I just slap you now please?" because in truth that ten feet is NOT that far away nor is that ten minutes that long a time to be apart. I mean, our relationship is a lot shorter and geographically closer than many LDRs, but it's still an LDR. People also look at me like I'm crazy, say how it's foolish, it'll never last, etc, but we're so much stronger as a pair than most of them are.
Just stay in touch as much as you can and make the best of it. Someday it'll work itself out. Besides, there's no good reason to do something solely because everyone else is. Do it when it's the right time for you to do it.

[bluishskin]

It seems like everyone around me is moving in together, getting married, having kids... basically living their lives while I feel like mine is on hold. Does anyone else feel this way?

Yes I do. Sometimes there are days when I feel I'm being left behind, especially since most of my cousins who are my age have got married or are getting married. It leaves me wondering to myself and sending this question to the void, "When is my turn?"

It takes time to get it right, better to take the time than get it wrong!

I so agree with this, thank you for the reminder. When it's time to happen, it will happen no matter what the obstacles are. I try to be patient and make all efforts as best as I can!

[HollzHeartsChris]

I'm only 18, but I've already seen a number of the girls who I've grown up with in school get pregnant and become single mothers, seen others become pregnant and become engaged to their boyfriends, seen the rest moving on and going onto university. To me, it's wierd because I've grown up with them and sometimes I can't help but still think of them as the little kids I once knew. I've seen my godmother get married and end up with a load of grandchildren. I've seen my parents growing old together in one very happy marriage. It's strange to me because it feels like life is passing me by sometimes, people are growing up, moving on with their lives, and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out because I'm not taking a plunge into the deep end if you get me. But then, I'm grateful I've not taken the plunge because I honestly wouldn't be happy getting married AND have a little mouth to feed at my age. I'd rather be in school learning and then ending up with a good job at the end of everything. I've already said to myself I'm gonna wait until I'm at least 23 before I even consider either marriage or having a baby

[cybunny]

I was married and had a kid by the time I was 21 BIG mistake lol Now I am a divorced mom of 2 waiting tirelessly for my SO and I to close the distance! So like may others have said its better to wait for the right person and the right time!

[rsvpnj]

Sometimes I feel that way too... although I can't stop myself from imagining our future together. However, every time I experience a financial setback or my ex-husband starts with me, I feel like our plans are on hold again. Escpecially right now... I have been feeling that way for several months... literally 18 couples that we know have gotten engaged within the last year and will be married within the next 12 months. We're not even engaged yet... I really feel likeI'm watching every one else start their life journeys together while we're still on hold indefinitely.

[Jgui]

i totally feel the same way.. everyone i know is either getting married, married, or having/planning on having kids while i'm still at square 1. some days or better than others where i don't let it bother me as much, but i know my clock is ticking inside me...

i don't know if me and my SO will ever get to that point and i try not to think about it too far ahead since we've only been together for 3 months...

[JEREIANEDREI]

Actually... having just turned 21, none of my friends are really on that level, yet. They find it "scary" that I've become engaged "so young". (In Denmark the average marrying/getting kids age is around 30 years). I've have my goals set on moving to Japan and all of that when I graduate in 4 years time. But, I've also had my doubts about being "marriage material", but recently my SO seems quite committed in that area. When I doubted things and was trying to find a reason why we were dating, besides that we love each other. He said "marriage and kids, right?" Those few words makes my day... and just makes me look forward to the future.


"Good things comes to those who wait"... right?

yeah right MILAYA...

everything happens for a reason,.All well ends well,.True love waits,..there is always a right time for everything..be strong!

[kteire]

I felt like this just before I started dating my SO... a lot of my friends were moving in with their SOs, getting engaged, having kids... and I was single. Well, now it's a bit different. One couple got married, most of my friends are now single, and the one couple who are still together have been engaged for several years without planning a wedding.
So I'm ok with where I am now. I don't want to get married just yet, and I only want to be engaged long enough to plan a wedding