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A Net of Love After the Big Move

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    A Net of Love After the Big Move

    So, one of you has made the big move and you have ended the distance. You walk into the sunset and live happily ever after, well, not quite! Real life is made up of all sorts of moments (happy or otherwise) and being united together with our loves doesn't make trials, tribulations, and triumphs go away for the rest of our lives. I really enjoy reading in the alumni forum and, not being an alumna (I didn't know Latin was gendered until my SO told me recently), and also wanting to cast my net out there for everyone's opinions, I thought I would bring up a topic here that has been on my mind and which seems to be a recurring theme of consequence for some people in the forum or may become a theme some of us are more interested in over time.

    If you are the one to move (yes, of course, there are other sides to this, but I want to focus on this side for now), it may be likely that you will find yourself in need of and/ or in want of forming or reforming a social support network (whether it be people to go do activities with, people to confide in, people you can help, people you want to keep in touch with from home, people that like long walks on the beach..., etc.). It's tough being the "new kid in town" as a child and it can still be very difficult for teens and adults to make acquaintances and lasting friends, especially in a new city/province/region/state/country/continent(/planet?).

    How have you gone about (or how would you go about) forming or reforming social support networks if you have moved (or can imagine yourself in the situation of moving) to be with your SO? Which methods do you think have met (or could meet) with the most success?

    Speaking of "success," which sorts of people would you be looking to add to/ get to know better, maintain, etc. in your new social network, in order for you to form attachments that would help you to feel successful in your social interactions at your new home? (You may wish to define "success" for yourself. For me, it includes feeling safe, feeling emotionally/physically/socially/spiritually healthy, feeling that I could successfully transition and integrate myself into my new home, feeling that I could rely on/ trust in and contribute to the lives of other people and not just my SO, etc.).

    #2
    I'm gonna answer these hypothetically if that's cool since I will be the one moving.

    How have you gone about (or how would you go about) forming or reforming social support networks if you have moved (or can imagine yourself in the situation of moving) to be with your SO?

    A good 80-something percent of my friends are online, I've never had many in-person friends for various reasons but I do make many nice acquaintances if I frequent certain locations like coffee shops for a while. So I imagine that and work would get me a couple people to hang out with when he wants to chill his with buddies.

    Which methods do you think have met (or could meet) with the most success?

    Work, more than likely. You see the people consistently, you have time to talk on break and slow days, etc. But that's purely if you guys get along.

    Speaking of "success," which sorts of people would you be looking to add to/ get to know better, maintain, etc. in your new social network, in order for you to form attachments that would help you to feel successful in your social interactions at your new home?

    I guess I'd just feel successful if they liked me and didn't try using me as a doormat/their personal therapist. I mean I have high standards for those I want to frequently associate myself with, you know generally good, humorous folk, but I don't need much in way of social interaction to be happy or secure where I am. I mean hey, I currently have no friends where I am and I'm doing alright.

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      #3
      How have you gone about (or how would you go about) forming or reforming social support networks if you have moved (or can imagine yourself in the situation of moving) to be with your SO?
      In order for me to form or reform social support when i do move to NY to be with my bf, i would be finishing up the last two years of undergrad and most likely will find friends from the university i will be attending (but if my bf makes me work, then i guess wherever i work at as well)

      Which methods do you think have met (or could meet) with the most success?
      As i said before, trying to make friends at the university i will be attending

      Speaking of "success," which sorts of people would you be looking to add to/ get to know better, maintain, etc. in your new social network, in order for you to form attachments that would help you to feel successful in your social interactions at your new home?
      I don't think i will be looking for a particular group of people to hang out with, but i will be surrounding myself with people who are determined to follow their dreams whatever that might be and motivate me to push though tough situations so i can graduate.

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