Oh God...

[Rusty]

So I've been talking to my SO about finalising dates to go over and visit, seeing as we've reached the point where I really need to book asap, but she's been strangely reluctant and I've not really been able to figure out why. Until now.

A few years back, she had ovarian cancer. It went into remission. A few weeks ago, she found out it's come back. Worse. Potentially very, very worse.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this. I just don't really have anyone to talk to about it. She's being very strong about it, and is concerned about my spending all that money to come over and see her when possibly... well, let's not go there. So, we're going to have to have a talk about quite what the two of us are going to do over the next day or two, but right now I'm still in that point where it's all sinking in.

I might never meet her. She may be taken away from me just as it's all starting. And I feel like that's a selfish thing to be thinking - I can't imagine what it's like for her. But here she is, being more concerned with protecting me than herself (at least outwardly).

I'm scared.

[Caitlin2009]

*Huggles* try and think positive, i know its hard but dont keep thinking the worse because its possible she will get through this just like the last time

[ioanna]

the title of your thread is exactly the first words that have come out of my mouth reading it... Rusty, i am so sorry you're going through this, i can only imagine how hard it is... keep strong, for both of you..
you and your SO are in my prayers...
*hugs*

[Veronica]

I wish you all the best in this situation, ill keep you too in my mind and heart. You make sure you keep on being possitive and strong, i know its hard, but you need to believe that everything is going to be ok. There are treatments and procedures for this, i hope everything goes good.

[Stubborn Hope]

*hug* Rusty... I'm so very sorry. I think you should still book, because she may you need there more than ever. You and your SO will be in my thoughts, and I send my best to you both. Stay hopeful and positive, it'll help both of you.

[Luisina]

Oh no, no no. that's.. horrible. I'm so, so sorry I can't even imagine how you must be feeling..
I would say to try and think positive, but that would probably be asking way too much right now, especially with the news being so recent..
But, she's been through it before - so the doctors must know exactly what they're dealing with and be able to get treatment started right away?

Still, no matter what, it's just really important that you try not to "lose your head" despite the bad outlook. Your girlfriend needs you more than ever.. but you must feel really powerless in this situation.. maybe you could ask her for something specific that she needs? 'cause it sure sounds like she's thinking more of you than herself...

Again, I'm so sorry you two have to go through this.. cancer's a terrible, terrible illness..
You're in my thoughts *HUGS*

[BlackCherryJam]

I'm so sorry to hear this! I wish you both all the strength! Try to stay strong and positive, it will also help your girlfriend.

[Bluestars]

I am so sorry that you are having to go through with this I really think you should still try booking the flight... asap. I know that she might not want you to see her when she is going through chemo or whatnot, but it would probably mean a ton to her if you where there to support her. If possible, you could try having fun together to get her mind off of things.

[Caity]

Oh what terrible news. I am so so sorry for the both of you. I agree that maybe you should still book the visit, so you two could still spend some time together, and i'm sure she will greatly appreciate it. I hope she can recover, cancer is a horrible illness, but if the doctors know it's there then that's a start and they can try fighting it. Just stay strong and hope for the best. We're all here to offer you some support too.

[xMesmerize124]

I'm so sorry to hear that
Just be strong for her and i'm sure she will be get through it like last time
Good luck&best wishes

[Laura024]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I agree with the others that it's important to be strong and positive. You already know she's a fighter, because she beat the cancer before. Staying by her side to comfort her and encourage her is the best thing you can do.

[paulawriteslove]

I am so sorry to hear this. The best advice I have it to be there for her. Best of luck!

[amandamayaaa]

i'm so sorry to hear about that, just keep your head up.. and tell her how much you're going to be there for her, this could be a huge bonding experience for the two of you.. even though this isn't the kind of bonding you'd like, but my thoughts and prayers are with her

[Rusty]

Thanks for the support everyone. We've just had a really good, long (3+ hrs) Skype chat, and are still messaging, and to be honest it was all fun and giggles rather than doom and gloom. So I'm smiling right now - though, of course, it's not made anything go away. Like everyone says, there's a lot that can be done, and all I can do is wait and see, and try to be positive.

The upside is that we finally confirmed the dates for me to fly out, and that it is definitely going to happen - I'll be booking those tomorrow. Which is fantastic! I'm so looking forward to it...

Thanks again for all the kind words - they really are appreciated

[5000miles]

My step mom had ovarian cancer and she's just fine now. They had to remove her uterus and that was devestating for her because she always wanted lots of kids, but at least she's alive today. There are ways to beat this. I'm glad to hear you're going to book the flights. I think it will be good for both of you to be together at a time like this. Good luck and keep smiling.