Empty Promises

[Cali2LDN]

Everyday he says he is going to write me a letter, talk to his boss about getting time off to come see me, he will email me, send me new pictures of himself, he would call...etc etc etc.....

I understand he is busy with work and is very tired afterwards, but seriously when its been put off for 3 months..... its hard

I love him, but when is accepting these empty promises too much....

[Kimme]

I know how you feel. Sometimes I get empty promises and bringing it up just causes a fight. I have learned to compliment
him on when he does things that he sAys he will like when he Skypes me I'll tell him that it was the best thing of my dsy and can't wait for the next time. It actually makeshim excited to Skype me again and he feels better. The empty promises will get better.

[sam]

Maybe have a little chat and tell him this? You may find he's just saying those things to make you happy at the time of saying them, knowing he wont (have time..?) to actually go through with them.

If that's the case it's better he just doesnt make the promises, and you should make sure he knows that

[Cali2LDN]

Sometimes I get empty promises and bringing it up just causes a fight. I have learned to compliment
him on when he does things that he sAys he will like when he Skypes me I'll tell him that it was the best thing of my dsy and can't wait for the next time. It actually makeshim excited to Skype me again and he feels better. The empty promises will get better.

Most of the reason why him and I fight is because of those empty promises I bring up, however that sounds like a really good idea. I think I will try that. Thank you you've made me feel alot better!

[LadyMarchHare]

sam has a point. It could be he's just saying stuff to "shut you up" especially if it's causing fights and he's feeling pressured. It could also be he forgets. He doesn't HAVE to do these things for you, they're not an entitlement, so arguing about them is rather moot even if they are promised. There are more meaningful things to bug one another about like that. If you can ask him why he's yet to do at least ONE of the things without making an accusation, I'd ask because you do deserve to know why and this issue needs talking out instead of covering up or fighting about it.

[paulawriteslove]

I know that my boyfriend gets annoyed when I keep asking him to do something for me. I've learned to stop asking over and over and let him surprise me and get things done on his own time It was super hard at first to not ask him stuff, but after awhile it got easier and easier and it made our relationship better. I hope this helps you!

[Cali2LDN]

I know that my boyfriend gets annoyed when I keep asking him to do something for me. I've learned to stop asking over and over and let him surprise me and get things done on his own time It was super hard at first to not ask him stuff, but after awhile it got easier and easier and it made our relationship better. I hope this helps you!

*hugs* thank you I know my bf likes to surprise me, so just maybe he could be waiting. No clue but ehh.

[bluepotato1236]

I know that my boyfriend gets annoyed when I keep asking him to do something for me. I've learned to stop asking over and over and let him surprise me and get things done on his own time It was super hard at first to not ask him stuff, but after awhile it got easier and easier and it made our relationship better. I hope this helps you!

Yes same here. Before this i keeps asking him to do something for me..and i am expecting him to do it. But when he didnt have time and failed, i feels sad and its like all the waiting is just a vain. So i learned to not ask or try to expect less. With that even the simple things he did to me already makes me super happy..

*hugs* thank you I know my bf likes to surprise me, so just maybe he could be waiting. No clue but ehh.

Yes my SO also likes to surprise me. Thats why he dont like it when i keep asking for things.coz he likes to do it on his own. And he always wait for special occasion and give me a very nice surprise..so yea...

[Bluestars]

I want to stress not to ask for too many things at once. If you bring up all of the things he hasn't done at once, it will probably overwhelm him and he will get defensive. If you just go on and on about it and make it seem as though he is doing something wrong, then he will just get annoyed like paulawriteslove said, and it just sounds like nagging. However, if you tell him it would make you really happy if he "insert thing here" he might be more open to it. Positive reinforcement works wonders, like someone else mentioned.

But Sam has a very good point. You need to let him know not to tell you he will do things if he is just trying to make you happy but never plans to do them. Tell him that it gets your expectations up and then it makes you disappointed.

Also, do you do these things for him? If you send him a letter, he may be more likely to send you one back.

[Cali2LDN]

Also, do you do these things for him? If you send him a letter, he may be more likely to send you one back.

Yes I have sent him countless things