I was wondering who on here has children. How long did you wait to introduce your SO to them? How active are your children in your LDR? Is it more of a package deal (i.e. when you go to visit, the kids come too & the kids are very participatory in visits), or do they just see them every once in a while? I have been with my SO for 4 months and I really want him to meet my children soon. My children are my everything and a big part of who I am, so I feel like it's very important. We are looking at him meeting them when we are at the 6 month mark, around New Years. My daughters are still young, 4 & 6, and the only man they have ever seen with me is their father. So, I don't know how they will feel about it, but I suppose I really just want it to be as comfortable as possible for them. If anyone wants to share their experiences, I'd like it. Also, I am new here, so if this topic has been covered before, I am sorry.
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I don't have children but my SO does...can I answer anyway?
My SO has a 2 year old daughter. I met him when she was 1 and a few months so I knew her right from the beginning. We all lived together in a big house with some of his other family members so I spent a lot of time watching over her, caring for her, playing with her. But her main caretaker was his cousin so she didn't sleep in our room or anything.
She became very attached to me and I'm afraid she won't remember me when I go back now that I've been gone.
In Africa it's very common for children to go live with whoever is most financially able. Since that isn't the case with my SO, his daughter lives now at his aunts house in the same city. She probably won't live with us for another few years (until we are more financially ready and have a strong base as a couple).
This may sound bizarre/neglectful to some people. But this is a very common cultural practice in Africa. My SO lived for years with various aunts and uncles as well as his own parents. It takes a village! -
Sounds more reasonable to me than keeping your children to yourself and living out of a car or something. As long as the aunts and uncles treat your child well, can provide better than you can, and are offering/willing to help for a while, I say go for it.Originally posted by lck741 View Post
If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion...love actually is all aroundComment
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I have three kids. Right from the beginning my SO knew I didn't need a Dad for them...but it was a package deal. He has children that are older. My ex and I have joint custody...so the first time he visited they met him..and from then on they have been here for a few days out of the time he has visited...when I go there...they come...
May not work for everyone...but I knew in my heart he was the one...and I wanted my kids to be a part of that relationship right from the beginning...NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013Comment
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Thanks! Like I said, new here, so sometimes hard to wade through all the previous threads.Comment
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Me and my SO both have children, in fact his son and my daughter suggested we start dating long before we actually did. My 2 younger sons met him about 2 months into our relationship. It was a little odd for my 12yr. old son because he was in the same class as my SO's son and they never really got along. My So is really great with my kids but every now and again they butt heads. I was with there father for 16 years so it took them some time to realize I was going to stay with my SO and not go back with there father. They will be moving with me to Florida so I often ask them if this is what they want and they say yes. I still worry alot about how they will adjust down there, if they will be homesick and miss there dad. I'm also nervous about how well my SO will adjust, he is going to be pretty much acting as a father figure to these kids and helping to support them. This from a man who didn't want kids and now will be raising 4... Just like I ask my kids, I also ask him if this is what he really wants and he says yes... I just hope I don't move down there and he won't be able to hack it. From my experience younger kids adjust better and are more excepting. 6 months is a good time to introduce them to your SO.Comment
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XD Haha, I'm 19, glad I don't have kids yet. My mom is doing an LDR with her boyfriend who's here in University with me, but if they ever get together me and my brother will be old enough not to have to worry about moving around with them. Besides, my brother lives with my dad. :P I think it's alot easier on her knowing that she doesn't have to worry about us.
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I have a son and my SO also has a son. I met his son when he was a baby, and although we were friends for years and years, he always knew of me in the background as Dad's friend. My son knew I was friends with my SO, but they met for the first time when he came to visit this past summer. My ex does nothing for my son, so my SO is going to be the father figure in his life and I wanted to let them get to know each other as soon as possible so they culd get used to each other. Luckily, my son adores my SO and my SO adores him right back. Our visits have been with everyone together so far, and they've all worked out well.Comment
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I have a son from a previous marriage. While my SO has been married but doesn't have any children... We've known each other for years but lost contact after 2002. He realizes that it's not just I anymore and is very accepting of that.... My son will go on the visits with me, and my SO looks forward to meeting him.Comment
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