So sick of HIS CRAP ! :mad:

[Dauntedpoet]

at least for the time being i wont speak to him. i want to put him into my shoes..but even then i dont think he would care...

I think the only person that will be hurt by your ignoring him is you, as you will torture yourself trying to ignore him, and he won't even know your pain. In my humble opinion, you need to get busy busy busy as fast as you can. Not because you want to give him the cold shoulder, but because it will help you cope, and miss him less. If he does happen to notice your unavailability, good, but don't count on it, just do what you would normally do if you weren't in a relationship with him, to keep yourself entertained and busy with things you enjoy!

[Caitlin2009]

why should you have to put up with such disrespect??? sure i have things that i do on a daily basis but Denise is always in the front of my mind and if im gonna be later with calling her then i at least tell her and tell her why, i dont just up and go and forget all about her. You may be miles away but your still a part of his life and he should tell you if he's gonna be doing something that he cant contact you right away, and i know you dont want to and since he is bad at relationships maybe you should dump him so he understands what he did wrong and can fix this about himself in future relationships

[paulawriteslove]

I think that you need to tell him how you feel straight up. Sometimes guys don't know their doing something wrong until you tell them what you want.

[mattheww65]

I think that you need to tell him how you feel straight up. Sometimes guys don't know their doing something wrong until you tell them what you want.

Yea I do that all the time... sometimes can never work out what i've done to upset my SO unless she tells me straight out.... which is always a really hard thing to get out of her!

[Melek]

Hi there, i'm new here. I'm in a relationship with a Turkish man too & I feel ya sista. I have been there, done that and got the T-shirt (a genuine-fake one) I got so sick of the distance that I packed up and moved over to Turkey which i'm happy about as I adore the country. I've lived in Turkey for several years but I still have to leave him for work reasons and it is so hard and tiring. I'm the one that always wants to send messages, talk on Skype, email etc, normally he only does enough so I can't get mad about it but....I want ALL his attention ALL of the time. Face to face it's all good, but once our relationship goes to phones and internet - i'm pretty much jealous, paranoid, needy and controlling. He knows all of this and if I go too far he tells me to quit it and i just plod along trying to keep myself busy as much as i can so i don't procrastinate. Turkish men, god love them, are not like other men, they are like their own breed. :/

[TknandLvnIt]

I agree with what everyone has said about your relationship. It is extremely important that there is mutual respect and communication in your relationship. Distance magnifies issues by like 100X and its always helpful to be mindful of whether its a small issue or a big issue. My SO did/does the same thing and I really had to talk to him about it...I felt like I was the last thing on his priority list that he would just stop texting me or not call me back and it became very frustrating because I thought I knew his schedule and tried to only expect to talk to him during the times that I knew he was free. But what I realized was that I had too much time on my hands; i wasn't working, really hanging out with friends and only had one class one two nights a week...and found that I would be bored all day and that was what drove my desire to talk to him so much. It is okay for him to be busy but he needs to respect your relationship and make time for you too. One thing that we did was to use a google calendar...we both put in our schedules and it adjusts so that you can have multiple time zones and then we scheduled our time so for us that's a weekly date night and a bible study. We don't schedule anything else during that time so that neither of us feels like we aren't high on the priority list. Desiring to talk to him every day is an issue but I think the most important thing to do is to figure out why it is bothering you so much and tell him how it makes you feel. If he doesn't value and put effort into maintaining your relationship...then maybe he needs space to think about if this is really what he wants. If you can't just drop him then turn your phone off for a couple hours a day or a whole day after you get a message from him. The worst feeling is to have your SO act as though everything is fine even though you haven't resolved everything. But take some time to evaluate why you love him, why this relationship is worth the distance and what things are frustrating you about him and the relationship and how you can fix them. I wish you the best :-)

[8983MilesofLove]

hey, my SO was and still is (sometimes) kinda the same...so I did things to show him how it feels and to make him realize how much it hurts me that he doesnt do romantic things and keep promises etc. I'll give you some examples;

1. He kept ignoring my texts, not replying to my messages etc...
so I stopped texting him and emailing him (it was REALLY hard..but i kept myself busy to stop myself doing it), in the end he called me and was like 'why've you stopped texting and emailing...i enjoyed getting them'...so i answered 'whats the point you never reply.' Since then he always makes the effort to reply

2. He never did anything romantic, never sent flowers, letters, etc etc...
I told my friends how i felt about this and then they spoke to him about it...next thing i know i have a huge beautiful bouquet of flowers arrive at my door with a card from him...he also got my best friend to take me to the cinema and buy me ice cream (he gave her the money so she could take me to make up for the fact he couldnt)...he also started sending me letters (although not regularly because he's dyslexic and finds it difficult to hand-write...which i totally understand). And then when I arrived back in Australia last time, I walked into his bedroom and it was full of lit candles...you can probably guess what happened next :P

3. He never put me first and always ditched me and our phone calls to go out with friends...
So I kept calling him non stop while he was out with his friends, to the point where his friends got annoyed and suggested he talk to me before seeing them. This worked. Now he never ditches me or our phone calls, he always calls me before he goes out with friends and then while he's out with his friends I don't contact him unless it's urgent...this way we both win and get what we want

4. He complained that I called too much throughout the day and turned around and said we don't have to talk everyday....
I didn't call him. at all. I waited for him to call me...and eventually he realized how much he actually missed me calling him. He apologized for saying what he did and now if i dont call him everyday, he ALWAYS calls me! It only took a few days of me not calling him and only him calling me, for him to realize, and since then we have had no issues with this problem

You just have to compromise...everyone's different so I don't know if this will work for others...but it's worth a try!? It was really hard to 'ignore him' in a way...not call him, not text him, not email him etc...but it really worked and i kept myself busy by going out with friends and basically not having time to talk to him.

I hope he's similar to my SO and realizes how much you truly mean to him
*hugs* x

[Sano]

I had this problem in the beginning of my relationship only his excuse was he gets absent minded sometimes. After a couple of times of me being upset, we finally talked about it. I didnt understand why I had to remind him to spend time with his girl friend. We had a long talk about communication. We're not on a set schedule of talking or anything but he does call me more frequently sometimes just to say I love you in between his classes. I was just happy to see his effort. You guys should talk, especially if you feel like he's not making an effort at all to talk to you.

[agentholli]

I have a major problem when he said you should lower your standards...HOLY CRAP red flag!!!

I have been in a relationship where the man did not put in any effort and it killed me!!!!!!!! I put up with it for a year and I will never, ever do it again. It was also LDR, and then after i finally broke it off with him, he told me the truth about everything. He was still living with a "ex" girlfriend..or so he says 'ex' He was drinking and gambling away all his money. I had broken up with him because of his drinking before and I told him that if he ever drank again it would be like he cheated on me. He NEVER stopped drinking when he told me he did. I mean he was drunk most the time...and some other things, but ya...it all made sense why he could only talk to me when he wanted to, and why he never wanted to get on webcam, and why he never called me. he was drunk, in a casino..gambling away all his money, I mean all.