Graghhhh!!!!
If I was a T-rex, that would have been so much better. It was still cool, though...in my mind.
First, forgive me if I sound wired or slightly mental (hey, no easy jokes from the peanut gallery <.<; )...it's 3:30am and I am rampantly angry and need to vent to you, my lovelies!
In sum, there is an important conversation that my SO and I were having, which was cut short for various reasons...yet, we were both aware that it wasn't finished with and needed to be resolved ASAP. It's really been weighing on my mind and affecting my mood, so from the beginning of this week/ end of last week, I have been trying to get him to talk about it again. He keeps evading it and, yet, he promised we would talk about it Wednesday. What does he do? Makes the conversation about our days so ridiculously drawn out that it is hours later and he is too tired to talk any more. I understand he is super busy with school and work lately and that is why I haven't pushed him too much on talking about it or pointing out his avoidance of it--I'm not being insensitive to his needs, but I think that this has crossed a line into him being insensitive to something that needs prompt discussion for the continued health of our relationship. Also, he's being really not romantic lately. I know longer days at work kind of knock the stuffing out of him and that I could try and up the romance and see if he follows...but not right now when I am still fuming from his advanced evasion tactics.
I have now sent a really raw, without artifice or pleasantries email that outlines my points on discussion. In some ways, I already regret it and in some ways I feel rather free, as I have expressed what I needed to without holding back. Who should email literally a microsecond after I send my email to my SO, but my most recent ex (the one I have written here about who actually wasn't very nice and keeps trying to talk to me). He's telling me about this dream he had of me and I have been very good about ignoring him--we need a lot of space and time before I can think about attempting even an acquaintanceship with him...even if I would want such a thing. I didn't respond to the email or contact him in any other way, but I had a split second of viciousness and immaturity where I imagined that I would flirt with him just to spite both my SO and him (I know that is a hideously bad idea, by the way...and it certainly doesn't make me look good to all of you, but...thoughts can't completely be helped, can they?). Should I feel happy that I avoided temptation or kind of freaked out that I was imagining delight from something so stupid and mean?
If I was a T-rex, that would have been so much better. It was still cool, though...in my mind.First, forgive me if I sound wired or slightly mental (hey, no easy jokes from the peanut gallery <.<; )...it's 3:30am and I am rampantly angry and need to vent to you, my lovelies!
In sum, there is an important conversation that my SO and I were having, which was cut short for various reasons...yet, we were both aware that it wasn't finished with and needed to be resolved ASAP. It's really been weighing on my mind and affecting my mood, so from the beginning of this week/ end of last week, I have been trying to get him to talk about it again. He keeps evading it and, yet, he promised we would talk about it Wednesday. What does he do? Makes the conversation about our days so ridiculously drawn out that it is hours later and he is too tired to talk any more. I understand he is super busy with school and work lately and that is why I haven't pushed him too much on talking about it or pointing out his avoidance of it--I'm not being insensitive to his needs, but I think that this has crossed a line into him being insensitive to something that needs prompt discussion for the continued health of our relationship. Also, he's being really not romantic lately. I know longer days at work kind of knock the stuffing out of him and that I could try and up the romance and see if he follows...but not right now when I am still fuming from his advanced evasion tactics.
I have now sent a really raw, without artifice or pleasantries email that outlines my points on discussion. In some ways, I already regret it and in some ways I feel rather free, as I have expressed what I needed to without holding back. Who should email literally a microsecond after I send my email to my SO, but my most recent ex (the one I have written here about who actually wasn't very nice and keeps trying to talk to me). He's telling me about this dream he had of me and I have been very good about ignoring him--we need a lot of space and time before I can think about attempting even an acquaintanceship with him...even if I would want such a thing. I didn't respond to the email or contact him in any other way, but I had a split second of viciousness and immaturity where I imagined that I would flirt with him just to spite both my SO and him (I know that is a hideously bad idea, by the way...and it certainly doesn't make me look good to all of you, but...thoughts can't completely be helped, can they?). Should I feel happy that I avoided temptation or kind of freaked out that I was imagining delight from something so stupid and mean?
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