My SO and I had a basically ''normal'' LDR recently. We did have our arguments sometimes, maybe more often than others on here, maybe even less.
I am yet again at a point where I dont know how to continue everything.
First off, it's my emotional time of the month... I'm in a bad/sad mood 90% of the time and barely anything can change it. Whatever happens good or bad makes it only worse...
And so have I told my SO and that he should just let me do my thing right now cause there is nothing to make me laugh/smile anyways lol Its ******ed and I hate it but at least I know the way I am and told him to basically not care about my behaviour cause I dont mean it.
So we talked last night and everything was ok. We were both laughin doin jokes and just bein completely silly/******ed.
After a lil while (hour maybe but I think it was less) he said he'd go out with his friend cause he had a fight with his gf (they're in a LDR as well) and he wants to distract him. Of course I wouldve wanted him to stay cause I was longin to see him all day, but ok I let him go. "Be back soon! I love you" was the last thing he said before leaving.
I waited, and waited... about 6hrs... I went to sleep but stayed on with my phone so he could wake me as always.
He didnt.
I woke up at 6am, not seeing him online and messaged him "meep?" which basically means in our language "meepy (thats how we call each other lol) please get on
"
And he did.
First everythign was alright. I admitt I was respondin without any emotions so he knew something was up lol But there actually wasnt.
Recently I was wonderin if he'd apply for his next semester abroad so I again after a while asked him if he did, yet told him that Im sorry if I annoy him that Im just curious.
After his "you'll hate me, please kill me" phase I said that he wouldnt/couldnt come anyway and asked if I was right.
He replied that he doesnt have the money for it and he doesnt think his parents could afford it either right now.
Of course I was a little hurt that he couldnt come but it's not his fault right?
He worked hard to get his GPA, for himself and eventually for a semester abroad, but he was so busy workin on his grades that he couldnt get things right for the semester abroad (applying, money etc).
Just as I wanted to say that it's ok and that I really just asked out of curiosity and that we'll make it some other way than to see each other next year, he started off rantin on how he is a terrible person, an even worse boyfriend and how I should hate him and so on.
He first went off in Skype than Facebook without sayin anything.
His roommate was still on so I asked him to please talk to him cause I dont know whats up and to tell him that he's not a bad boyfriend and he said that he tried but he has no idea whats up.
Here's the problem:
Recently he's been so extremly stubborn. He wouldnt talk to me (neither to his best friend as it seems). He keeps telling himself how he's such a bad boyfriend and never gets anything right. I told him to please not get back to the old Chris who wouldnt let him help at all like he used to before we started datin. When I asked him to please tell me whats up he said he doesnt know himself.
I wonder what happend, maybe he's havin his emotional time of the month as well.
I mean I think it just dropped all down on him. One of his friends bfs doesnt want them to talk or anything anymore cause the guy thinks Chris wants to f*** his gf although he knows that Chris is taken. Then he got a C on a maths test the other day and it kinda broke him, tho he had all A's before (for the first time). He is still lookin for a car, yet once he finds one that he likes, is good and affordable always something turns out in the end that he cant buy it (seller wont pay anything for his old car which is actually a new one lol).
And then of course the fact that he kinda ''failed'' with the whole us meeting next spring/year thing.
Now you'll think "well if he cant come than go see him." I would if I could but I can't. And I basically now that I wont be able to do so all of next year.
Im graduating end of June, after that I have to work so I can pay off my first semester at uni. I need at least 600euros for the semster and at least 1500euros for the trip to see him if not even more, and with the job I'll have there is no chance to make that much money, even if I start saving money right now. Also the Unis I wanna go to require a test which will be held on September 1st (at least one Uni not sure about the others). As well my passport is expiring end of July. I need a new passport and a visa for which I have to apply 3 months before my trip to the States.
So IF I had any time at all to go see him it would be from sometime 2nd-3rd September for a month. Yet again there is the money problem again, I would need my parents financial support which they cant give me since they could barely pay my Uni semster + dorm etc.
I was all quite today, lost in thoughts thinkin of what to do.
I considered breakin up so it'd be easier for him and I mean yet we could stay friends and just work easily on meeting and stuff, but if there was another girl in his life I couldnt handle it at all. And friends or not I would still love him, I could hide the love but as I said if another girl would come up in his life, I would completley break down, even worse than if we'd break up.
Plus in the end it doesnt solve the problem right?
I just dont know how to help him anymore. He is so stubborn. I cant find the right words to make him feel better or anything.
He is makin an even bigger distance between us when he's feelin bad than there already is.
I feel like I fail in my duty of takin care of him.
I have handled him before this way but still...
I love him and I know he loves me too, and if we made it this far I bet we could make it even further but Im scared of losin him...
So basically it's my fault since I brought it up. We were doin so fine after our last big fight and decided to wait on the meeting thing or well basically first get school and life right and when everything is goin good we'd give everything on meeting.
But... well... I wanted to know
I mean I didnt mean to push him or be like "oh you dont do anything for our relationship you suck!" I just wanted to know how things are doin in that aspect...
Sorry for the huge rant but I needed to vent kinda... and I need your help
I am yet again at a point where I dont know how to continue everything.
First off, it's my emotional time of the month... I'm in a bad/sad mood 90% of the time and barely anything can change it. Whatever happens good or bad makes it only worse...
And so have I told my SO and that he should just let me do my thing right now cause there is nothing to make me laugh/smile anyways lol Its ******ed and I hate it but at least I know the way I am and told him to basically not care about my behaviour cause I dont mean it.
So we talked last night and everything was ok. We were both laughin doin jokes and just bein completely silly/******ed.
After a lil while (hour maybe but I think it was less) he said he'd go out with his friend cause he had a fight with his gf (they're in a LDR as well) and he wants to distract him. Of course I wouldve wanted him to stay cause I was longin to see him all day, but ok I let him go. "Be back soon! I love you" was the last thing he said before leaving.
I waited, and waited... about 6hrs... I went to sleep but stayed on with my phone so he could wake me as always.
He didnt.
I woke up at 6am, not seeing him online and messaged him "meep?" which basically means in our language "meepy (thats how we call each other lol) please get on
"And he did.
First everythign was alright. I admitt I was respondin without any emotions so he knew something was up lol But there actually wasnt.
Recently I was wonderin if he'd apply for his next semester abroad so I again after a while asked him if he did, yet told him that Im sorry if I annoy him that Im just curious.
After his "you'll hate me, please kill me" phase I said that he wouldnt/couldnt come anyway and asked if I was right.
He replied that he doesnt have the money for it and he doesnt think his parents could afford it either right now.
Of course I was a little hurt that he couldnt come but it's not his fault right?
He worked hard to get his GPA, for himself and eventually for a semester abroad, but he was so busy workin on his grades that he couldnt get things right for the semester abroad (applying, money etc).
Just as I wanted to say that it's ok and that I really just asked out of curiosity and that we'll make it some other way than to see each other next year, he started off rantin on how he is a terrible person, an even worse boyfriend and how I should hate him and so on.
He first went off in Skype than Facebook without sayin anything.
His roommate was still on so I asked him to please talk to him cause I dont know whats up and to tell him that he's not a bad boyfriend and he said that he tried but he has no idea whats up.
Here's the problem:
Recently he's been so extremly stubborn. He wouldnt talk to me (neither to his best friend as it seems). He keeps telling himself how he's such a bad boyfriend and never gets anything right. I told him to please not get back to the old Chris who wouldnt let him help at all like he used to before we started datin. When I asked him to please tell me whats up he said he doesnt know himself.
I wonder what happend, maybe he's havin his emotional time of the month as well.
I mean I think it just dropped all down on him. One of his friends bfs doesnt want them to talk or anything anymore cause the guy thinks Chris wants to f*** his gf although he knows that Chris is taken. Then he got a C on a maths test the other day and it kinda broke him, tho he had all A's before (for the first time). He is still lookin for a car, yet once he finds one that he likes, is good and affordable always something turns out in the end that he cant buy it (seller wont pay anything for his old car which is actually a new one lol).
And then of course the fact that he kinda ''failed'' with the whole us meeting next spring/year thing.
Now you'll think "well if he cant come than go see him." I would if I could but I can't. And I basically now that I wont be able to do so all of next year.
Im graduating end of June, after that I have to work so I can pay off my first semester at uni. I need at least 600euros for the semster and at least 1500euros for the trip to see him if not even more, and with the job I'll have there is no chance to make that much money, even if I start saving money right now. Also the Unis I wanna go to require a test which will be held on September 1st (at least one Uni not sure about the others). As well my passport is expiring end of July. I need a new passport and a visa for which I have to apply 3 months before my trip to the States.
So IF I had any time at all to go see him it would be from sometime 2nd-3rd September for a month. Yet again there is the money problem again, I would need my parents financial support which they cant give me since they could barely pay my Uni semster + dorm etc.
I was all quite today, lost in thoughts thinkin of what to do.
I considered breakin up so it'd be easier for him and I mean yet we could stay friends and just work easily on meeting and stuff, but if there was another girl in his life I couldnt handle it at all. And friends or not I would still love him, I could hide the love but as I said if another girl would come up in his life, I would completley break down, even worse than if we'd break up.
Plus in the end it doesnt solve the problem right?
I just dont know how to help him anymore. He is so stubborn. I cant find the right words to make him feel better or anything.
He is makin an even bigger distance between us when he's feelin bad than there already is.
I feel like I fail in my duty of takin care of him.
I have handled him before this way but still...
I love him and I know he loves me too, and if we made it this far I bet we could make it even further but Im scared of losin him...
So basically it's my fault since I brought it up. We were doin so fine after our last big fight and decided to wait on the meeting thing or well basically first get school and life right and when everything is goin good we'd give everything on meeting.
But... well... I wanted to know
I mean I didnt mean to push him or be like "oh you dont do anything for our relationship you suck!" I just wanted to know how things are doin in that aspect...Sorry for the huge rant but I needed to vent kinda... and I need your help
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