Help! He just said "do we need to break up"

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Me and my SO are so happy when we are with each other. We are the perfect couple and it is great!

But every time when we go back home from are trips it all goes down hill Pretty much every time we talk on the phone we argue! I dont know why. I feel like it is always my fault. We just got off the phone and he said do we need to break up.

[Caitlin2009]

well try to talk out what the main problem is, instead of dance around it. You know its the distance so talk about that in detail because sometimes you have to

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thank you. Gosh I hate bein so far apart!

[paulawriteslove]

I know it's so hard to be apart after a visit. It's especially hard to get back to being normal, and it's sad to think but the distance is normal to us. Maybe try not to be super duper clingy (because I know I am after every visit!) I hope this some what helps! Best of luck!

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thanks so much

[LadyMarchHare]

Like the others have said, it's just the 'fresh'ness of the distance rearing its ugly head again and that strains anyone's nerves. You're missing them, you're getting back into routine, and you're thinking about the next trip so your nerves are frayed, his are, and yeah it'll spark arguments. Identifying what exactly sparks the arguments then addressing it, as Caitlin said, is the best thing to do. It's just a matter of working out what you guys can do when these things begin to come up because a fight over missing someone doesn't justify a break up. You just end up missing them more.

[Silviar]

It's very common - the body's way of adjusting back to LDR after being CD is often arguments. What you're experiencing is normal, promise! Talk with him about it. The stress and anxiety does it.

[Karringtyn]

Talk talk talk. Get to the source of the problem....I hate how I feel right after our visits...I miss him soo much more.

Sending you many hugs hon.....((((HUGS))))

[My Hearts in Kentucky]

Thank you guys
and thanks for the hug lol ")

[Bluestars]

We have had similar situations before, but we have made it through all of them. Like others have said, you guys need to have a talk to find what the problem is. We have a really hard time dealing with the distance as well, but I think you both have to decide if you want to be with one another. I ask my SO this if we are having problems, and although he might hesitate at first (out of confusion), the answer is always yes. Then, we make a point to talk about what we can do to improve our relationship from a distance (because like you, everything is perfect when we are together). For instance, we might say that we need to get on webcam more often or read more together. Then, we actually make an effort to do these things.

If constant fighting is the problem and you feel like you are the cause of it, then try to find what starts the fights in the first place. At one point in our relationship, we were fighting so much that we came up with a code word so that we would have to stop right there when an argument was about to start. You can make a conscious effort not to fight if you really try. Maybe you two can come up with a way to gear conversations away from the fights as well.

But yeah....the distance is hard I hope you guys work things out.

[Rosebud]

Sending you so many hugs. Only 3 days after I returned from my trip with my bf we got into such a big fight we basically said the said thing, 'do we really want to break up over this fight?' But we're okay now and I've no doubt you guys will be too You just need to step back and take a breather, don't ignore how much you miss each other but take it slow. Things have to go back to the way they were again for a little bit which is hard but you guys will pull through.