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Apparently, I do much better with short visits.

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    #1

    Apparently, I do much better with short visits.

    Help.

    So, this is our fourth visit. The very first one was literally 24 hours. The second, two days, as well as the third. So I got here on Thursday and it's Sunday early afternoon and I am here until tomorrow afternoon.

    I don't want to say "I'm really tired of being here and super ready to go home". I want to say something more along the lines of "I really feel like I've invaded his space and kept him from his real life long enough and I want to get back to my bed"?

    Umm... Has anybody ever experienced this? Like I know that I'll be sad tomorrow when he drops me off at the airport because it may be that I won't see him again until Thanksgiving but I feel like I'm ready to go home and it makes me really uncomfortable.

    So... any help would be great.
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    #2
    I can understand that feeling. It does take some adjustment to feel like you are really "at home" at your SO's place. So the longer you are there, the more likely you are to feel like you're intruding. Since your relationship is so young (going by your daisypath), this is something that might take a bit of time to develop. Think about if you were close distance... you probably wouldn't be spending 5 days in a row together at this stage in your relationship.

    Doesn't mean you shouldn't have long trips. It's wonderful that you're able to do so! Just don't worry that your feelings are a bad sign in your relationship or anything. The more time you're able to spend together, I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable there.


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      #3
      My visits were definitely the same way, length wise! My first visit was an hour long. The second and third were 2-3 days. The fourth time we saw each other was the longest, which was for a week. I can't say it was exactly the same, because he came to visit me at my home, but I know after a while, I missed a little of the quietness I had to myself in my room. Not that I wanted him to leave, but I just wasn't used to it. And my parents were tyrants that drilled into his head that he didn't belong in our house and that they were being gracious for letting him stay, so of course he felt uncomfortable the whole time too and wanted to go back to where he "belonged".

      But I'm sure those feelings will definitely change when you guys are actually together permanently (or maybe even have just visited each other more) and share many aspects of your lives, instead of one "invading" on another's.

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        #4
        I think it may be normal. I haven't experienced it with my boyfriend, but I do experience it when I go to visit other people I love, like my best friend or family members. You start to miss the comforts of home, having your own space, and having your own routine. One thing that I have found is that the more times I visit my boyfriend, the more "normal" life is. The first few times, we totally concentrated on each other and let life pass us by (the dishes in the sink, the phone unanswered, etc.), but as times have progressed, we start to do more normal things together. It made things feel a little more comfortable, so perhaps the more you visit, the more you will start to feel natural there.

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          #5
          :P Since we spent 24 hours a day together during the first 3 weeks we were going out (give or take a few hours for work), I never feel like I'm intruding XD His roommates think I'm awesome and he still does everything he would normally, like go to school and go grocery shopping... I could probably just move in if I didn't have to go to school.

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            #6
            Its perfectly normal to feel like that hun. Your used to your own way of life and having his company via *communication tool of choice* so to be in his company for a long period of time can be very strange especially to begin with. When i first went to stay at my SOs i was really (dont want to say uncomfortable ) wary about my surroundings i think the first i night i was even nervous to ask where the toilet was lol, but after i relaxed and got to know his family and him better, i felt more comfortable now its like a home away from home for me, i love it there

            Just relax and maybe try taking a few of your home comforts with you, your fave blanket or slippers or coffee mug or something to make you feel more at home, im sure hes loved having you there

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              #7
              Originally posted by Rach321 View Post
              I can understand that feeling. It does take some adjustment to feel like you are really "at home" at your SO's place. So the longer you are there, the more likely you are to feel like you're intruding. Since your relationship is so young (going by your daisypath), this is something that might take a bit of time to develop. Think about if you were close distance... you probably wouldn't be spending 5 days in a row together at this stage in your relationship.

              Doesn't mean you shouldn't have long trips. It's wonderful that you're able to do so! Just don't worry that your feelings are a bad sign in your relationship or anything. The more time you're able to spend together, I'm sure you'll feel more comfortable there.
              Yeah, you have a very good point. Thank you, it really helped!

              Originally posted by Talent_2 View Post
              Its perfectly normal to feel like that hun. Your used to your own way of life and having his company via *communication tool of choice* so to be in his company for a long period of time can be very strange especially to begin with. When i first went to stay at my SOs i was really (dont want to say uncomfortable ) wary about my surroundings i think the first i night i was even nervous to ask where the toilet was lol, but after i relaxed and got to know his family and him better, i felt more comfortable now its like a home away from home for me, i love it there

              Just relax and maybe try taking a few of your home comforts with you, your fave blanket or slippers or coffee mug or something to make you feel more at home, im sure hes loved having you there
              Mmmm... Great idea! I went and bought some shampoo and conditioner and stuff to keep here and he gave me my own drawer so I will have to fill it up with some of my favorite things. Thank you so much.

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                #8
                Originally posted by NikkiP View Post
                Mmmm... Great idea! I went and bought some shampoo and conditioner and stuff to keep here and he gave me my own drawer so I will have to fill it up with some of my favorite things. Thank you so much.
                Your welcome anytime
                I have my own draw now as well its nice to leave things behind, so they have something if they miss you also saves on the packing when you visit lol, but it also shows that they want you permanently in their life not just on the outskirts i defo feel more at home now i have some of my own stuff there

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                  #9
                  What you are going through is completely normal!!!!!!!!!!!

                  Your visits are all about the two of you..going here and there....sharing...cramming all sorts of fun in your visit...but when it is stretched out over a long period of time...well it becomes "real life"....you know the times where it can be boring and real and all that stuff,

                  Goodness I know exactly how you feel.

                  Then again...of course I do silly!!! We share a brain
                  NY to Texas Married on...August 17th, 2013

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