he wants me to go to his college

[redvelvet777]

so, my SO really wants me to go to his college, university of iowa. i'm still in high school... in georgia. i do really want to be with him and if this was a perfect world i'd be at the u of i in a minute. but my family is not rich. not at all. to go to an out of state school poses a collossal financial issue. i know there are scholarships, but come on. what are the odds of me getting a full scholarship. my SO is rich. or at least his family is. they're paying for his school (it was out of state for him too. he lived in new york originally) so i guess maybe he doesn't think of that kind of money as an issue. what are your thoughts on this?

[Zephii]

I hear you. Obi wants me to go to uni in Canada rather than Oz, and I could never afford that.
Just tell him that you are not used to the type of financial comforts he is. There's no shame in that.

If you want to try and make it happen anyway, perhaps ask him if he is willing to support you while your at college and then any job you got while studying, you could put the funds towards paying back the massive loan you'd proably be forced to take. See what scholorships there are, and perhaps ask your parents for the same amount they would pay if you went to a local college, to lessen the size of your huge loan. I guess you could also work while you finish high school to help make it possible?

[Mio]

I hope you can find a way to go there!!!

[lunamea]

I don't know for how long you've been together, but I'd definitely discuss something like this in person. I think you can pull it off, but it will certainly be much harder than going to college in your state. Be honest with him about your financial situation, as this will, if you choose to move there, influence your daily life. Also look at what his uni has to offer you in terms of your future major (if you know already) and compare to local colleges. If the U of I is better academically, that's another good reason that would speak for going there.

[Bluestars]

I definitely understand your concerns. I basically got a full scholarship in state and all of my costs are paid for without any help from my parents--who do not have the money to help me out. However, my boyfriend's mom once asked me why I just didn't transfer to their state for school. I told her that it would cost way too much, and she dropped it.

I think maybe you could apply to the school and see what scholarships you could get for there. You never know; maybe you would get more money than you think. That being said, I think you need to tell your SO that you cannot afford to go to school out of state, and he should be understanding. If he is already in college now, then that means that he is older than you. If he wants for the both of you to go to the same school, then I think that you should tell him that HE could transfer to YOUR school, since he does not have to worry about the cost. If he says no, then you shouldn't feel bad about saying no either. If he says yes, then that is good as well

Best of wishes!

[fcbella]

In my situation the rolls are reversed. I'm done school.. Steve is just entering. I desperately wanted him to come to Canada for schooling, although the cost is out of this world for international students. As sad as I was, I understood it... and in actuality, it's better as we will be paying back far less debt when we are finally together. Overall could make the future easier, even if it makes the present a struggle.

Good luck with everything!

[Cristi]

I am also in a reversed situation as fcbella is. I am in Graduate school and I moved away from my State to go to a school that paid for mostly all of my cost and my out of state tuition as well. My SO is still in Undergrad and he has 2 yrs left. I really want him to move to the school i'm going to instead of being away. He doesn't move because he says that would cost too much and his family really doesn't have the money to help him with that kind of cost. As hard as it was for me I looked at it from his point of view. Him staying in our state he would be saving about 8,000 dollars a semester. This will save us a lot of money in the future from having to pay debts. Especially since I owe a bit of money because I went to a private university in undergrad. So maybe if you just talk about it, and explain your situation and he might understand. It took me a while to uderstand, but I finally just thought about it and put myself in his situation. So I understood. Good luck

[elh0826]

He should definitely already understand your financial concerns if he really cares about you. If it's important to you, you should apply and see how things work out, there is no harm in trying to get into a couple of schools. Good luck figuring it out! But he shouldn't blame you