Visas etc...its all getting too much

[London-FortCollins]

Hey, this is a rant combined with some questions, combined with just wanting to talk to people who understand.

I'm from the UK, my SO is from the States. For various reasons he cant leave the states until next September at the earliest.

Plan was for me to move there. I am willing to do any form of work. I really don't care, I just want to be there and making an income and then work out what I want/can do next. But there is no way of it happening. My best shot was a J1 visa which can let you work for up to a year...nope its only for students or someone having just graduated.

I cant afford to be an international student. $20K+ a year is just not feasible!

There is basically no form of visa that allows me to go there to work even temporarily, let alone permanently. Even the K1 (Fiance) is a pretty big long shot and in any case we don't want to get married JUST so we can be in the same country.

So we want to look into him moving here. And its just as complicated and I'm going to need to hire a solicitor just to get advice because I earn too much to get free legal advice (but not enough to actually pay for a solicitor)

And some days it just all gets on top of me. Today being one of them. It hits at me just how hard this is. And its not that I wouldn't go through the processes, however hard and tiring they may be, its that I cant find any information anywhere about our best option especially given his circumstances and it just seems so hopeless that either of us are going be able to move to either country. And the thought of that just fills me with so much despair its unbearable.

I try so hard to be positive. To know that the long distance isn't permanent and that one day we'll be able to get through it. But there are times when however hard I try I just cant be positive about it because it seems all evidence to the contrary is screaming at me.

I'm a target and results based person. I'm willing to work my a** off as long as I know what I'm working towards. To have an aim and a purpose. But neither country seems like a likely option and I just don't know what to do about it.

So anyone with any suggestions about immigration/visas - please I'm so willing to hear them!

And anyone with any suggestions as to how to try and deal with it are muchly welcomed too.

Thanks for listening guys.

[Silviar]

Did you check the working holiday visa? We have those for people wishing to come to the US. That's what I'm doing ot go to Australia and spend time with my boyfriend before we finalize wedding plans and get engaged and all that hoopla. I like it because it's flexible.

[Silviar]

Thought I'd add in a link:

https://www.ccusa.com/global/about/wh.aspx

[Tanja]

I know the feeling....

My SO Andy and I are going through a similar thing, although we don't need to go through all the visa things cause we're in the EU.... but it's still hard enough to try and get him here.

The most frustrating thing to me is that you don't seem to find any information that's actually accurate and up-to-date! For example Andy and I went to see someone here in Finland who advices foreign people for a living and asked about immigrating etc... the woman told us we're good to go, explained all the details and said we could move next summer.

Then a couple from here (on LFAD) in a similar situation spoke to another woman in the SAME OFFICE and she said the exact opposite! So we were confused... just a little bit lol.

Also the police said lots of things that we're not sure about... and they handle all the residence permit applications! But anyway, my point is KEEP CALLING PEOPLE AND ASK! It's the only way to find out the stuff you want. I know there's tons of information online about visas and stuff but it varies so much depending on your situation... it's best to hear things from someone who actually knows what they're talking about plus you could find people (from forums for example) who've gone through the same thing and can give you some advice on where to start and who to talk to...

It is going to be super hard, it's going to get you down and you're going to think it's never gonna work but if you won't give up and keep thinking about what's at the end of it all YOU WILL GET THERE! Never give up hope

[mllebamako]

Yeah. I feel you on this one. I hate visa/immigration stuff and have had to PROMISE myself to not think about it for 1 month because I got so crazy-stressed about it last time.
But...here is a really helpful website with loads of visa info that I have found incredibly helpful. https://www.visajourney.com/ It has overviews and guides for each visa type and then forums where you can ask specific question. Like Silviar suggested, you could go over on a seasonal worker visa. But of course, you'd have to find a job before you apply.

As for the K1...why do you think it's a "pretty big long shot"? They grant like 95% of applications. I know you are against marrying for citizenship. So maybe the best thing is: apply for visa waiver, stay for 90 days. Then go back to the UK. And then when you guys do decide you want to get married, apply for the visa.
Just a thought.

[folclor]

; ^ ; *hugs* I don't have any advice, but I feel your pain

[Élan]

Does he live in a big city? I know in my city, there are legal clinics with select free walk-in hours for consultations. These are generally for immigration law only and are designed to help immigrants or refugees get their relatives here. But anyone can go and they don't discriminate. If you'd like to come to the US, he could go. Perhaps they could give you some advice about what's the best way to go about things. And it's free!

[Caitlin2009]

oh honey i feel for you, im gonna go be going through the same thing in a few months O_o im from the US and im gonna be moving to the UK, its currently the only option available for me and Denise because the US doesnt have any visa's for same sex couples, you can try the fiance visa since you guys are not the same sex it should be easier for you and you probably will get approved. or its most likely easier for him to move to the UK

[London-FortCollins]

Aw thank you guys. I can't believe so many people responded within an hour or so

Silvlar i'll def phone those guys. I have a feeling it may just be for students, the J1 visa I looked at but it could well be something I've overlooked. Thank you!

Tanja - I saw your post about it and was so excited for you guys. That sucks that your now being told conflicting info. It's true, its about never giving up. And I'm not going to, but sometimes its just so hard. But yep just gotta keep speaking to people. The trick is finding the right people to speak to!

Mllebamako I'll def check out that website. Always good to hear how other people are getting on and hints and tips. With the finance visa, its not so much the chances of being accepted as it is the application process and stuff. But also as I say we dont want to get married just to be able to be in the same country.

Funny you should mention the Visa Waiver - thats what I was there on over the summer and what I'm going back on in Jan, each time for the full 90 days. I know this makes us luckier than most because I've managed to find temping jobs and saving enough to be able to afford that and I'm aware of how lucky that makes us. its just hard thinking that that might be what we have to do for the indefinite future.

folclor *Hugs* Thank you

Elan not a huge city - Fort Collins. But he's not that far from Denver so maybe I will try that when I'm back there.

Caitlin2009 I really do feel for you guys. It makes me so mad that its so discriminatory. Best of luck with coming over to the UK Ironically its Scotland we're thinking about moving to because we're absolutely in love with it.

Thanks again guys. It's always good to know I can come here for advice and support.

And for now I suppose....

[Zephii]

I have no advice because every country has something different but I sure can sympathise. There was a stage there it all got too much for me and I was so overwhelmed I yelled at Obi for a good fifteen minutes in a frenzy that ended with "Why the hell couldn't you have just been born in NZ?!"... but once I settled down I realised that it would turn out alright because there's just no other way. Then I went into the city and noticed the thousands of immigrants. If a thousand other people can find a way, people like you and I can too. Chin up matey

[ariver11]

Hi! Just wondering, is it possible for you to get hired by a US company? Or does whoever you work for now have a branch in the US? Or could you apply to UK firms telling them you are interested in working in the US?
I know it takes time and you´ve very likely looked into these!!! I´m no expert so mostly can just wish you the best of luck!!! I really hope one works out...!!! x

[garnet]

Immigration is a pain in the ass. My husband and I were lucky in that we were engaged and were on the same page about getting married. We knew it was the K1 or nothing (for our situation). A lot of people say that they wont get married for immigration purposes, but we felt like we were getting married because we loved each other, and so we could end the distance, however we realize that isn't for everyone.
The K1 itself was easy, but now we're locked into waiting. He's here, we got married, but he can't work, he can't leave the country. We have spent everything, and are out of savings. It's a terrible process.

I don't have any suggestions on another route to take, since all I know is the K-1, but I did just want to offer my support! There are a bunch of us on the site impacted by immigration to here or there, though different types, different steps in the process, but you aren't alone.

I second the suggestion to visit visajourney.com and especially check out the country specific forums. Such a great resource.

Don't give up! We'll all get past these hurdles if we keep at it. We're all here for you!

[seshei]

I completely understand how frustrating it can be. I'm in the US and my SO is in the UK, and our options are pretty limited when it comes to visas. We have two options: get married and then go for a IR1/CR1 or go the K1 route and then get married. While I know we'd get married eventually, it would be nice to just live together for a while before doing so. Just feels like we're forced to miss out on some in-between step somewhere before having to go all the way with it. And, I hate the idea that it kind of feels like we'd be getting married JUST to be able to be together. I mean, I know we're not, but... we kinda are. Would be nice to have other options. As for how to deal with the frustration? I wish I knew. We've tabled the discussion for the time being. He'll be here for a visit over Thanksgiving and we plan to talk it out in person then. For me, thinking about it makes it seem so impossible. But, other people have made it work, so I know we can, too. That's what I try to keep in mind so it doesn't seem overwhelming.

[Silviar]

Aw thank you guys. I can't believe so many people responded within an hour or so

Silvlar i'll def phone those guys. I have a feeling it may just be for students, the J1 visa I looked at but it could well be something I've overlooked. Thank you!

Do, because I know I've read about a temporary working holiday visa for people, and you don't have to be a student to get it. I know I did, because my boyfriend and I discussed it for him.

[shanna]

Plan was for me to move there. I am willing to do any form of work. I really don't care, I just want to be there and making an income and then work out what I want/can do next. But there is no way of it happening.

There is basically no form of visa that allows me to go there to work even temporarily, let alone permanently. Even the K1 (Fiance) is a pretty big long shot and in any case we don't want to get married JUST so we can be in the same country.

I totally feel for you as that is exactly what I'm going through now. I'm from an Asian country and my SO is from UK, and the plan is for me to join him there. I'm separated, divorce in process but not yet finalised.

We had looked at the visa options to the UK and these are the problems we are facing:
1) Work visa: Like you I am more than happy to get a job - almost any job that gets me a foot in the door. But there's this big disclaimer - Employers are mostly looking to hire people who already are legally allowed to work in the UK, meaning, the job applicant must already have a valid work visa and to have that, it means the non-EEU job applicant must already by holding a valid work visa and is already working in the UK. To top that off, even when there were more than a few employers who were happy to employ me, they have to apply to be accepted by the UK Home Office to hire a non-EEU applicant, such as myself. And the paperwork, background checks, & requirements to be met by the potential employer is so many, all those potential employers just find it too much of a hassle to hire a non-EEU applicant.
So work visa has not gotten me anywhere so far. Doesn't help that SO is not from a big city either, which I am and the jobs available where he is, is a huge step-down for me and I'm willing to do that but still no hirers willing to go the mile & all the government red tape just to hire me.
2) Non-married couples visa:
2a - I'm separated, not fully divorced yet, so no divorce paperwork and therefore not a status recognised by the UK border agency. I have to be divorced with all the divorce papers to show for it. Even a deed of separation prepared by my solicitor and signed by my soon to be ex-husband showing that we are indeed separated and proceeded with divorce process is not accepted by the UK border agency.
2b) - Where one partner is a non UK and non-EEU citizen, the couple has to have lived together for 2 years prior to the application - and this has to be proven with joint bank accounts, utility bills, phone bills, and any other legal documents. How do we have lived together when I'm not even allowed to live with him, for more than 6 months in the UK (when I entered with a visitor's entry visa)? We approached banks to open joint accounts but we weren't allowed as I was in the UK on a visitor entry. All utility bills are still in his name and there was no sense for us to change it to both of us at the time.
3) To enter as fiance, we have to be married within 6 months.
We wanna get married but I don't want to have to rush it just for a Visa. I certainly don't want to rush my wedding plans just to get married with 6 months. and then of course, there's the situation of my divorce having to be finalised first.
4) Get married and enter the UK as his spouse. - again a rush to be married just to apply for a visa.

And some days it just all gets on top of me. Today being one of them. It hits at me just how hard this is. And its not that I wouldn't go through the processes, however hard and tiring they may be, its that I cant find any information anywhere about our best option especially given his circumstances and it just seems so hopeless that either of us are going be able to move to either country. And the thought of that just fills me with so much despair its unbearable.

I try so hard to be positive. To know that the long distance isn't permanent and that one day we'll be able to get through it. But there are times when however hard I try I just cant be positive about it because it seems all evidence to the contrary is screaming at me.

Like you all this sometimes just gets too much. We have written, called, emailed the UK Home Office Border Agency to seek further information and advice and the 1 time they replied - 8 months after we emailed them, we were re-directed to get the information from the website. AARGHHH!!!!