Hi I'm new to the site

[mercy2122]

So my LDR situation is a little complicated (to me anyways). I met this guy on campus who was visiting for the weekend, it was fun but he wanted to continue it even though he lives in Las Vegas. I know how hard LDRs are and I didn't initially want to start one, but he was persistent that we could make it work and well long story short we ended up dating for 6 months. He would always talk about the different careers he wanted to pursue and the traveling he wanted to do, but I'm pretty stationary at school for the next few years and he's pretty spontaneous and flighty (hence the random idea to go to college in Texas). So I broke up with him so he could just live his life and figure out what he wants without worrying about me (I know I'm stupid). Anyways, he recently got in contact with me said he changed and he's going to school and trying to get his life together, but he won't be able to move here for 9 months. I think we can make it but I do have trust issues because he did cheat on me once when we were dating. I figured if I joined this site I'd have some support from others who know what an LDR is like and maybe this time it could work. SO.... that's my story. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated

[LadyMarchHare]

Well first off, welcome to LFAD.

I think on the whole you did the right thing by breaking up with him the first time, but I'm not so sure getting back together just because he's said he's changed is the best idea. Has he shown you he's changed, proved it to you? Plus with the cheating issue, he has a LOT of trust to gain back. If he's still in a nomadic, where-the-wind-takes-me sort of lifestyle then things may not work as you sound like one who'd rather pick a place and bury your roots deep in the ground. I know 'opposites attract' but there's a limit when your lifestyles are not the same. At the same time he has to show you he's not going to fly off with some local honey and sheepishly report it to you later with an excuse, which takes time. So long as he can prove himself and show he's working hard on keeping you both together despite the distance and the past, I believe it can work. Best of luck.

[Dauntedpoet]

Welcome to LFAD Mercy, this is a great place of support for LDR's

[mercy2122]

Thank you guys for the welcome!
I am weary of taking him back on his verbal promise of being changed. Although I have noticed a few changes like he's picked up a second job is going to school for something that's a steady career, he sleeps normal hours now and he doesn't game as much (a really big change). I have to be honest I didn't exactly make the relationship the easiest to be in (mostly due to my insecurities and trust issues) but he always put with my craziness and we'd fight but he's always saying that we shouldn't give up. He does like the settled life but I figured his flightiness is due to his age (21) compared to mine (23) which is another reason I really wanted him to live as much as he wants. He said he just wants a chance, and I do really miss him. Hopefully reading other peoples stories and gaining support from this site will make things easier.

[LadyMarchHare]

Well this site does teach that no matter what your problem, you're never alone. At least you're seeing some significant changes so that's something. And despite guys not really maturing entirely until their thirties, age doesn't have much to do with how they act because I've seen a 36 year old act the way he's acting and so forth. Some people just want to do that whole "experience the world" thing. I think, perhaps, in losing you once it was the reality check he needed.