How to give him hints? lol

[noodle]

Before I start off I just wanna say that Im not a greedy person lol
I prefer giving instead of taking.

But here goes the thing... I have send my SO a Valentines Day card last Vday and in august a package with stuff I got him in Italy and Spain and for his bday he got another package.

On our 6th month I didnt send him anythin and neither did I get anythin from him but I was fine with that. I dont need any presents for anniversaries Im happy with a "happy 6 months i love you" lol
But my bday is comin up soon And for me (even if Im not selfish etc) my birthday is the most important event of all year lol More important than all the other holidays together. I dont know why but for me birthdays are somethin special and important (not just mine, friends/family's bdays as well).
I have talked to my SO once before about him sendin me stuff and I made a joke of how his best friend should be a role model for him cause he send his gf flowers and they're a LDR as well.
He said I checked right away and said that one single rose is 20bucks but that I am worth it.
But he as well has been promising me to send me his t-shirt since we started datin and once it almost happend but he wanted to send his hookah as well which was too expensive tho so clever as he is he ended up sendin nothin lol

I was wonderin if or how I could give him some hints and basically motivate him a lil more to send me something.
I mean even if its just a piece of paper sayin "I love you".
He has a necklace and bracelets from me and he is wearin both quite often. He has somethin to basically have him think of me but I dont And I'd really love to...
I made bad experiences with my ex and other people, givin so much yet not gettin anythin, and I know its kinda difficult for him since international postage is so expensive and he cant just spend 30 bucks on a lil package cause they he cant buy food for a week or whatever but there are so many possibilities he could do (yes I did see the advertisement banner on the top of the site lol) and I mean I did save up that money as well.

So any ideas/help?


ps: I hope you all understand what I mean and dont think I want him to get me stuff just cause I got him somethin in the sense of "I do this to you and now I want its value back!" lol :/

[LadyMarchHare]

You could try saying something like "You know, I had this idea of filling a shoebox/storage box/whatever with things like letters and cards you've sent me so that when we're older we have memories of today." Or just flat out "I'd like it if you could send me a postcard with a neat picture/a letter/etc." With guys you pretty much have to be direct but you can still leave the option of WHAT to send to them. Nothing wrong with wanting things like that, they're mementos and things to have when you're down and they're not there.

[nicole]

I would just be direct, there is no point in hinting really... even just a "It would be sweet if sent a postcard from where you live etc" I mean he can order flowers on the internet which aren't expensive if he orders from a local company? My SO ordered me flowers from the florist down the street from me, only cost him $2 to get them delivered.

There is nothing wrong in wanting those things, I know I'd be disappointed if he didn't at least send a letter for my birthday- with those light-weight airmail envelopes and writing paper, it's less then a dollar to send one.

I know international postage is a pain, but there are things you can put in an envelope which is cheap to send? Maybe make a game out of it, say ask him to buy the same size envelope as you, and then go see what random thing you can both find to fit inside it and send to each other?

[William]

Many women tend to complain that men don't take hints. So given that that's a fact, just be direct to them.

Men realized ages ago that women don't take hints, so we always just say we want something if we want something.
Edit: And we just flat out suck at giving them, too.

[noodle]

I guess I'll just ask him when I'll get ''my'' shirt (have done that before) and also say that it's my bday soon heh ^^
He actually should be able to find some time to do somethin cause all his exams so far are done

[paulawriteslove]

I LOVE my birthday too!!! Um, my best advice would be direct with him! Or you can say, "guess what's in # of days??" haha. When's your birthdayy?

[noodle]

I LOVE my birthday too!!! Um, my best advice would be direct with him! Or you can say, "guess what's in # of days??" haha. When's your birthdayy?

I should try that too! x)
On 22nd november

[LadyMarchHare]

Many women tend to complain that men don't take hints. So given that that's a fact, just be direct to them.

Men realized ages ago that women don't take hints, so we always just say we want something if we want something.
Edit: And we just flat out suck at giving them, too.

Sarcasm?

Just to derail a sec, what some women call hints, facts call 'mind reading' or leaving a hint so obscure that you're hard-pressed to know what it is. So even if the person can 'take a hint', being direct and mildly assertive is a heck of a lot better than dropping a pebble of a hint into a sea of conversation and then crying when he didn't know it was even there.

[mllebamako]

being direct and mildly assertive is a heck of a lot better than dropping a pebble of a hint into a sea of conversation.

Haha I LOVE this pebble/convo analogy. And I agree, it's best just to be direct. IMO, there's wrong with saying what would make you feel happy and loved instead of getting mad later that he didn't guess correctly.
My SO never sends me anything because the mail system is so unreliable in his country and he can't really afford it. But still, a month before my birthday, I told him, "I know it's really tough for you to send something but it would make me feel really special on my birthday if I received a letter from you". Personally, it doesn't bother me that he didn't come up with it on his own accord...the words inside it and the intent behind it are the most important.
And, if you're wondering, he sent it and it still hasn't gotten here...almost 2 months later. Thank you Africa!

[noodle]

And, if you're wondering, he sent it and it still hasn't gotten here...almost 2 months later. Thank you Africa!

you're havin it way harder, I see
and Im sorry for the late delay...

[mllebamako]

you're havin it way harder, I see
and Im sorry for the late delay...

Haha no worries...I'm used to it! It'll probably never get here. That's why I take pictures of everything I send him, since it usually never arrives I want him to see what it looked like and what I wrote later.
A letter has only gone through once...but for some reason I'm still tryin'

[Rach321]

I agree with being direct.

I find that I need to do this with my boyfriend from time to time. I'll usually give him suggestions, and then he never takes those suggestions, but thinks of something on his own. Sometimes I think he's just stubborn and doesn't want to do something just because I asked. For example, I've been asking for a letter from him for some time now- he's now sent two packages with NO letter inside! Ha! But the things he included in the package were very meaningful, so I was delighted with what I received.

What I usually do is say things like "I really miss you and would like some physical thing that I can connect to you." He usually responds (though not always right away) with flowers or a small gift. Or, "please remember that my birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. It would mean a lot to me if you could do something special for me." One year he suprised me with a visit and a cake. Another year he made arrangements to pay for a party for my friends and I. Sp neither were actual physical "gifts" but because he came up with them on his own (even though I had already asked for something generally) they really meant a lot to me.

[Tanja]

Hmmmmm Andy feels this way about me... And I didn't have a clue until one night he sent me a long email (along with a lot of other heavy stuff lol) and plain told me he would like it if I sent something to him and it wouldn't have to be anything miraculous or expensive, just a letter for example would make him happy.

I've always thought I would have to send something really special and, well, supporting for all of my "kids" (human and animal ones lol) plus paying the mortgage I don't have much extra to spare so instead I've sent him a few nice things online that are free but I now realise it's not THAT expensive to just send something small and personal - it's the thought that counts, not the market value of the item.

Yeah I go along with what others said, just be honest with him and tell him you would like it if he sent you something cause it means he's making an effort and is thinking about you... It's not too much to ask and it certainly doesn't make you greedy or selfish.

[kasia516]

my bf is bad at sending me letters, even tho he gets them at least once a month. so this month i tried something different. i sent him his letter, but i also sent another one, addressed to me from him, and it was a mad libs type love letter. i basically wrote him a love letter and he has to fill in the blanks and send it back. This is a good example of what i used to help me with it. https://www.diva-girl-parties-and-st...r-mad-lib.html
i really hope he'll get the hint, because hes usually really awful at getting hints. but this way he has to send it back, it just might take him awhile to do it.

[noodle]

Thanks all

@Kasia: I will so do that letter thingy now xD so fun haha


Well I have talked to him last night/this morning and this is waht I did:

me: it's november soon
him: yah my mietzis bday! (yea we call each other mietzis lol)
me: ya
him: imma try to make yous a present
me: yay with ma shirt?? ^__^
[he nodded and smiled]
me: yaay finally after more than 6 months xD
[he poked his tongue at me, still smilin]

so yea we'll see