Good and bad things

[Kirschlein]

Hello everyone!
I don't know if this topic actually exists, if yes you can just let it die or delete it.
Well, i wondered if you all can tell the good AND the bad things about your SO. Surely we are in love, but there is not only good things we can love. I can tell by myself, the more we i found out his bad sides, the more i started loving him. Its a part of him and to know this kind of things it makes me feel i am closer to him than anyone else. But i also could get crazy when he does it... D:
Also usually when i see couples and they ask eachother, whats the best about me it usually takes time till they actually can say anything. Like they dont know for sure... i usually don't hesitate saying what i feel for him, but it kinda makes me wonder if you all can tell too o:

So... my questions are:
What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
What do you love about him and what do you just hate?
Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?
Is there anything what always drives you insane?
Are there more good things than bad?
Or is it the opposite?

:3

[Caitlin2009]

the good outweighs the bad thats for sure, the main things that i wouldnt say hate but i dont like are her smoking, her thinking that she needs to be skinnier then she already is thats the one that drives me insane the most is her thinking she needs to lose weight when she gets a little bit of a belly(she used to be almost 300 pounds) shes afraid she'll go back to that weight which ive told her over and over that wont happen unless she sits on her butt everyday for a few years does nothing but eat junkfood and watch tv! And to me i could careless if she went back to her old weight whether she does or not i will always love her no matter what she weighs! but thats the one thing that drives me up the wall with her

The good things outweigh the bad such as shes the most sweetest, caring, loving person ive ever known, she will drop everything to help you out even if shes sick or tired, she gets and understands me even though i can be a pain in the ass sometimes, she knows my needs in bed ehem....and just looking in her eyes and seeing how much she really loves me the fact that i can see that is amazing to me, the fact that she can make me laugh even if im in the middle of crying or having a bad day she just makes it all better, and we'll be here all day if i had to list the good things about her. And yeah i can live with all the bad stuff including the smoking its a part of her so it bothers me but at the same time it doesnt

[LadyMarchHare]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?

There are a lot of good things about him. The bad are he smokes and drinks, luckily I got him to quit drinking when he's depressed.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?

What I love most is his creativity and enthusiasm he puts behind everything he creates, his philosophy on certain subjects, and the way he can make the ordinary quite far from it. Hate? Err, the smoking. I'm sorry it bothers me that much, I have health issues.

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?

I can't live with the smoking. I'm asthmatic and even being around someone who smells of smoke shuts my lungs down. As for the others like his temper, yeah I can deal since I have my own and know what to do, mostly.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?

When he doesn't tell me major issues until after the fact like when he up and disappeared for 3 weeks, I found out it was because his mom had a diabetic episode and it was the anniversary of his stepdad's (who was an abuser) death. He basically shut me out for those three weeks and I went nuts with worry. I hate when he does that.

Are there more good things than bad? Or is it the opposite?

If there were more bad things than good I wouldn't be in the relationship. Everyone has their faults, major or minor, and every SO is gonna do something to piss us off to the point we wanna hit them with a 2x4 sometimes, but in the end they make up for it just as we do. We're human. As a lovely song goes, "the more you love someone, the more you want to kill them."

[NikkiP]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
The good:
He's smart
He's a gamer
He's affectionate
Great in... (three letter word that rhymes with head)
He thinks I am funny!
He loves music

The bad:
The bads can all be seen in a good way, but are bad because of my personality, lifestyle, goals etc.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?
I love the noises he makes when he wakes up, and the voice he uses when I know he's half asleep
I love his kisses and the way he can never get enough of mine
I LOVE how he never gets jealous!
I hate the way he picks at his poor fingers

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?
I think the only thing I am going to have to get used to is that I am extremely money driven/oriented and he is not. We will have to make that work when it comes time to combine finances. I guess I'm afraid I'll be resentful if I pay more towards our household.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?
My obsessive compulsive disorder manifests in counting so he will be fidgeting loudly and I'll just sit there counting his movements, completely taking me away from whatever it is that I'm doing.

Are there more good things than bad?
Or is it the opposite?
Way more good than bad. The way that he loves me for who I am, and doesn't expect me to change would be worth any bad though.

[noodle]

Good:
He loves me the way I am (personallity and body)
He always knows how to make me laugh/feel loved/feel beautiful.
He knows me way too good, he knows when Im mad, he knows when somethings wrong, and he can read my mind so many times and Im not even hinting anythin
(and many more) lol

Bad:
His stubbornness >_>
He's never jealous

I absoluetly LOVE everything about him, like his looks, his personality, his behaviour all in general. But I HATE how stubborn he can get, not about any plans or whatever but about himself. He always blames himself for anything bad that happens and wont let me or anyone else convience him that its not his fault! As well as compared to me Im super jealous lol I have sometimes even problems when he hangs out with girls (sometimes I feel like they're more important than me thats why) and he doesnt get jealous ever >_< Ok he doesnt really have a reason cause I dont have guy friends I hang out with all the time buuut whenever I mention something, or talk to a guy on facebook or something his reply once was "I trust you enough and I know you wont cheat on me". Well great >_> bring some temper into this relationship like a spanish bull dude! x) haha

But I can live with that I think that once we close the distance or in general when we're together in person it'll change a lot. It's difficult for him to basically be with me but not meetin me for a year. But he's makin an amazing job as a boyfriend, even stopped smokin weed and goin nuts on weekends drinkin till he doesnt remember anythin cause he knows I hate it lol So yea, I wont take those 2 lil problems as a reason to hate him or whatever lol

There are waaaaaay more good things than bad. And I know that he's a good man, yet as I said, he still struggles a lil bit with the fact that Im not there and we havent met yet so he cant show his 150% commitment with flowers, diners, breakfasts, goin out and all that stuff he would do so yea.
I guess its the price you pay for bein in a LDR.

[Zephii]

This will be fun ^^

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
The good: Pretty much everything really. He always listens, he's caring, loving and he tries. This is a big one for me... he makes mistakes because he's new at all this couple stuff, but he tries really hard to stop being a bachelor and think "us" not "me". He's talented, very focused and radiates competence with everything he does.
The bad: He's lazy, cheap and often selfish (Though, he's working hard on that too, and has made notable progress), and materialistic. He also has a very bad memory which irritates the hell out of me. He is also bad at standing up for himself or for me, and he's very law-abiding/ follows all the rules/ a bit of a stick in the mud.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?
I love that if something is really important to me, he'll listen and then try to do something about it. I love the ways he shows he loves me. I love that he constantly lets me know I'm appreciated.
I hate that he never wants to shave or other personal hygiene maintenance activities. And I really hate that when he gets bored he'll make up stupid songs that make no sense or will find another way to irritate me until I entertain him.

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?
Going well so far. We share a lot of bad habits, some which we try and work on together, others we just revel in, because it's great to not have to be cultured all the time. Plus, generally speaking, I wear the pants, so if I really put my foot down about something (like the need to bathe) I usually win... even if that leaves me feeling like a mum not a gf.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?
The way he does the dishes. Lordy I'll never get past that!

Are there more good things than bad?
For sure He's a really great guy, for the most part it's just that I'm picky!

[nicole]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?

He has so many good qualities.... he likes to take care of me, he's smart, he has a great sense of humour, he's loving, listens to what I say and takes my problems on board. he's just.... lovely!

Bad: He's very judgmental- I don't mind most of the time, but recently he made a comment about my best friend's appearance who he hasn't met yet, and it stung. Makes me think if I put on weight he'd dump me =/ and sometimes he doesn't think before he speaks, which ends up in me being paranoid or hurt in some way.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?
I love the way he he treats me- so loving and caring. I love the fact he likes to go shopping and look good. I love how we can have debates without having an argument. I love how supportive of me he is. I love how he'll do just about anything to make me happy when I am sad.

I hate how he views his body- he's not at all overweight- he's really sporty actually, but he says he's fat and has to get up at stupid hours to go work out. no matter what I say, he doesn't believe me

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?

He is learning to think out what he says before he blurts it out, and it's always a temporary hurt that we can talk over and fix. I have things to work on too, so we work on them together.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?

He can't stay serious for long.... it's annoying when I'm trying to sit him down and have a serious talk and he's goofing around. Or we'll have a sweet/intense moment, and he will ruin it by doing something stupid.

Are there more good things than bad?

of course or we wouldn't be together

[Kika]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
The good: I can't complain, he is pretty much everything I ever wanted, he is intelligent, he thinks that I am perfect, he loves me, He cares about me, He always thinks about us, he is generous, he loves sport (like me), he respects me and shows me affection, he is committed, he remembers what I ever told him, he is talented, good looking, great in bed, he is gentleman, he has good relation with his family, he doesn't smoke.... I should stop
The bad: His laziness, and he used to spend all his money, but since we are dating, he has started to save half of what he earns (his own decision ) also, he is a bit shallow and my best friend is fat, he hasn't met her yet. I'm just a little bit afraid, he sometimes has nasty comments about fat/not good looking people in the TV (never in person), but I don't want him to say anything nasty about her behind her back either.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?
I love that he is my first boyfriend who showed real interest in me, my past is quite sad, I keep telling people that I may tell them one day... he's the first one who actually asked twice that what happened and I told him. He introduced me to his whole family quite early and I appreciate it. I love that he trust me enough to tell me his secrets. Also, he knows what I might like and always gets it for me. I love that he's the one who starts to speak about our future - kids, wedding... it's nice to know that he counts with me
I hate that he misses me but doesn't text me much but always ALWAYS ends our conversation by telling me to text him when I like becuase I am the one who is busy. I want him to text me from time to time first... I can find a few seconds to reply to his texts anytime (on the internet he's normal and skypes me everytime he sees me). It's even worse as I know a few guys who like me and they text me all the time, and my own boyfriends doesnt

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?
Of course, we aren't together for a long time, but we practically lived together before going to LDR. We haven't had a single argument yet.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?
No

Are there more good things than bad?
It's like 98:2

[Kirschlein]

@ Caitlin2009:

Really nicely said. I wonder if my SO gets crazy about me when i say something against my weight. I have a pretty bad self esteem and that almost always leads to me saying things like: i am so ugly and fat, blablabla. <_<;; And even if he says i am beautiful and all the nice things, it somehow doesn't make me think it too. I trust him that he means it but there is always a little bit in me, that doesn't believe it.

@ LadyMarchHare:

I am so lucky, that my SO doesn't drink and smoke just like me. My exboyfriend smoked and drank and it made me insane, because i also have bad memories with that. D: and it stinks!
Atleast you could make him stop drinking when he is depressed, because it really doesnt help at all...

And i hope for you, that he takes care about the smoking oO not smoking in the apartment, but going out or something, so it doesnt affect you.

@ NikkiP:

Money is a pretty serious topic, especially because i know some people (included my parents) who have debates everyday because the other one spended it on something unnecessary etc. Me and my so are both good in saving money and such, so happily we won't have such problems. We also already decided to make a own household book where we list up everything we spend and how much we earn, etc. So we always know how much is left

@ noodle:

My boyfriend is never jealous either, or almost. I can tell him everything like i meet a guy and such... but he just says: okay, because he trusts me so damn much. That makes me kinda feel bad because i am a really jealous person and the exact opposite in that point .__. and also a little bit jealousy is good, because that shows that the person cares... dunno... actually its good but on the other hand bad xD

@ Zephii:

My SO is also really bad at memorizing... me sometimes too, but not like him. I suggested him a note book, where he writes notes in there so he doesnt forget... xD Sadly he is too lazy to use it... but somehow i can make him hehehehe.

and lol how does he do the dishes? xD

@ nicole:

I am happy for you that he works on it. I had an debate with my SO once where we wondered, if changing this little things is changing the character. Usually you say, people should love eachother how they are and should accept it. Actually i couldnt answer him this question. I wonder if anyone can?

And im sorry i didnt answer yet D: had a lot to do lately <.<;;

[Caidsys]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
The good things outweigh the bad by a lot. He's very understanding, sweet, patient (You need a lot of patience to be with someone like me. :P), goofy, loyal, and very selfless though sometimes that's more of a bad thing because people take advantage of it. The bad things are he's really bad at communicating things to me at times I mean it's hard to begin with with the distance and the fact most of our talking has been through messengers recently, but I'll think he's joking about something and laugh or put an "XD" face when he's actually being serious, but to be fair it's very very hard for me to be serious when I'm around him.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?
I don't really hate anything about him. I do sometimes wish he would be a little less nice to people because I think people are waaay too big of pricks to him to deserve everything he does for them, but then again if he wasn't such a sweetheart he wouldn't be Reese so I probably wouldn't even want him to change that. I love just about everything about him. He's a beautiful person inside and out.
Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?
Of course I can live with his bads. He's only human I get extremely suspicious of anyone who acts perfect because they're usually the worst kinds of people. He loves all of my flaws and I love all of his. I wouldn't have him change anything or want anything to change unless it was something that was really hurting our relationship, but so far nothing about him really has.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?
The fact he always wants to roleplay drives me a bit insane because we've been roleplaying since we met basically and I have a very short attention span so I'm rather bored with it, but I do it for him anyway because I know even though I'm burnt out on roleplaying he loves it.

Are there more good things than bad?
Definitely more good.

Or is it the opposite?

[Zephii]

@ Zephii:

My SO is also really bad at memorizing... me sometimes too, but not like him. I suggested him a note book, where he writes notes in there so he doesnt forget... xD Sadly he is too lazy to use it... but somehow i can make him hehehehe.

and lol how does he do the dishes? xD

lol @ notebook. Obi's supervisor at work makes him carry a notebook for the same reason... but he wont use it at home >.>

When he does the dishes he'll just go up to the full sink, fill it up and start, mindless of the random food, small puddles of stagnating water and other dubious liquids that are present. I'd prefer it if he emptied the sink, cleaned it, filled it with clean water and then did the dishes, but his logic is the water will be dirty after the first dish, so who cares? *pulls hair out*

[Rugger]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
Good
-He's funny, kind, sweet, loving, gentle, affectionate, talented, creative, and positive.
- He also accepts me as I am, and my past.
- We like most of the same hobbies. He supports my infatuation with rugby, and I support with him with his guitar
- lastly, he's freaking gorgeous, my idea of a perfect guy physically: Muscular, dark skinned, curls, dark hair, dark eyes, tall, chest hair.. I could go on forever

Bad
- He tends to get down on himself a lot, whether it be his performance in bed or the fact that he's unemployed.


What do you love about him and what do you just hate?

I love almost everything about him: his personality, the way he can always make me laugh by doing stupid things, the way he looks, his family ( whom I'm in love with). There is only one thing I hate and it only happened once. He got very aggressive and nasty after drinking while a group of us were out at dinner. It made me feel very nervous, because my ex used to get like that and abuse me ( mentally), but that got sorted out very quickly ( a friend of his gave him a reality check) and he apologized and I've never seen that side of him again.

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?

I can live with his bads, since there aren't that many of them. I just try to encourage him and tell him how amazing he is.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?

Not really.
Are there more good things than bad? Or is it the opposite?
There are DEFFF more good things than bad. He's prety much perfect. We've never even had a fight.

[sabby64]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?

The Good- He's romantic
He's crazy and loves to take risks
He has an awesome work ethic
He's really easy to get along with
He loves to have fun
He likes to try new things
He likes to look good but doesn't obsess over his image
He loves to clean things
He's completely loyal
He wants the same things out of life as me
I could go on forever ^^;

The Bad- He's too passive about certain things
He has trouble making decisions
He has self-confidence issues
... That's about it.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?

I love how romantic he is, because I'm used to guys who I had to ask if I even wanted just a hug. He loves to talk about the future and he's very optimistic in this all working out in the end. I also love how crazy he is because things never get boring.

I hate the way he won't tell me when he's mad, he just shuts up and stops talking to me. Nothing can get fixed if he won't ever tell me what's wrong.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?
How it's impossible to cheer him up when he's in a bad mood, even if it's pretty rare. I just have to back off and wait until things blow over, until he finally feels better and talks to me again.

Are there more good things than bad? Or is it the opposite?
There's wayyyyyy too many good things about him that the bad things just disappear.

[blankita719]

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?
The good - He's my best friend, and has been there through many, many, many years. He gets me quite unlike any other person I've ever known. His cute dorkiness makes me laugh. He's an amazing father to his son. I don't know too many men who fight for primary custody of their kids and win when the mother is also a capable parent, and my SO did just that. He and my son adore each other. He's awesome with my son, and those of us that have kids understand how big of a deal that one really is. He's a hard worker, and accepts responsibility for things, which seems to be difficult for many people. And if I haven't said it yet, he's just simply amazing

And now the bad - His super logical mind!!! Which isn't really a bad thing, just irritates me when I get emotional about the distance and he gets all practical and breaks it down as to why we still can't be in the same place He can also get pretty easily distracted by the TV when certain things are on (Pats games especially). He's also not as expressive with his emotions sometimes as I wish he would be, but that's part of being a man and being raised the way he was.

These aren't necesarily bad things, but things that drive me a little crazy:
His driving - I work for a law firm that sues people who cause car accidents, so what I see in my normal day causes me to be a more cautious driver. He on the other hand, had dreams of racing cars and drives like a maniac so I have to close my eyes whenever he is behind the wheel. We also have pretty opposite sleeping habits so sometimes I'm awake and ready to go, but I have to wait for him to get up and moving before we can talk. Plus he goes to be earlier than I do, so I'll be wide awake and he's yawning in my ear. Yes, little things but still annoyances!

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?
Absolutely - He's the one for me - I couldn't have asked for a better man in my life.

Are there more good things than bad?
Way more good than bad - His bads aren't even that terrible.

[CynderAngel]

Love this topic.

What are the good, and what are the bad things about your SO?

Good: He's incredibly sweet, loyal, trusting, caring, helpful, intelligent, strong, driven, artistic, optimistic, and cute. I just love his personality. I'm very happy that he's not interested in watching sports. I'd have watched them with him if I had to, but I'm simply not a fan of any sport. He has a very strong sense of right and wrong. His smile is absolutely amazing. It's contagious. He always knows exactly what to say to cheer me up. He remembers everything I tell him. I don't know how he does it. I forget a lot of the things he remembers. He listens when I need him to, and he's very willing to talk about feelings (his or mine). We have healthy arguments that we're always able to work out.
Bad: I don't know that I'd really say it's bad... but he does have some emotional issues he needs to work out, but then, so do I. We both support each other and communicate our feelings very openly. He's working through his problems very actively so it's not bad to me.

What do you love about him and what do you just hate?

I've already covered what I love about him. That's everything. I don't think I stressed enough exactly how handsome/cute/adorable/good-looking he is. XD His eyes are gorgeous. He always knows how to make me laugh, and he loves me exactly the way I am. He made me finally believe that I'm beautiful. I love that he never wants to smoke or drink alcohol; that's extremely important to me. I hate the way he kind of puts down on himself. I'm always telling him how handsome or cute or intelligent or sweet, etc. he is. I think he's beginning to believe it more, but it's taking a while. Oh well. It did for me too. I also hate that he doesn't take care of himself as well as I think he should. He can be very stubborn. He hates going to doctors for high temperatures or BROKEN BONES!!! D=<

Can you live with his bads or can you not? And why?

Yes. Easily. None of it is that bad... except the not going to the doctor thing. He will go for me if I really want him to, so it's okay.

Is there anything what always drives you insane?

Haha... not angry insane. He's doing the insanity workout right now, and he's getting into great shape. He keeps telling me how toned his arms, chest, back, abs, etc. are getting, and he won't let me see. Drives me crazy! I'll see this Thanksgiving though. Can't wait!

Are there more good things than bad? Or is it the opposite?

MUCH more good than bad. He's perfect for me.