I posted in another thread yesterday, encouraging one of the members to take up a variety of opportunities to make friends and realize that having friend time beyond just boyfriend time is valuable. I still stand by that. Though, the next day, for myself, I am kind of feeling bummed that I'm at home on a Friday night (and, boy, do I wish I was at university still and had all those social options) and I can't talk to my guy because he is off having fun.
He keeps going to these different salon concerts, etc. with new friends (where he had previously described it as very cliquish) from his choirs and such (which is cool...hey, I would love to go with him and maybe I am a tad jealous that I can't be there to share these things with him...but I see that these are good things to share with friends), but seems to tell me about them at the last minute or tells me about them awhile after they happened (I know I talked about this one before, but now he seems to be doing repeat performances). Could it be like LMH said, where he is afraid I will be freaky and jealous (the thing is, acting like this and not being open in the first place have been behaviours which made things between us feel shaky and I thought he had really been working on openness and I had really been working on jealous...so, what's the deal?) Maybe I am not doing a very good job of describing it in a way that would convince you of how I am feeling, but it feels a bit like he is ditching talking to me because something better or more interesting has come along and feels like I will just be here any old time (he is also phoning me later and, really, both of us are grumpy and sleepy by that point, so the conversations aren't as fun as they could be, and it is not respecting that either of us have work or activities the next day). I understand that social opportunities sometimes come up on the fly and it is important to take them, but sometimes I think that he has planned them in advance and just sort of drops them on me later (which feels a little odd, because we seem, lately, to talk about everything with each other...and that is also by his choice, too...so it isn't like I am being smothery).
I'm not sure what the summary should be from that...I guess, something like I respect his social needs, but I feel like he is being rather discourteous, lately?
He keeps going to these different salon concerts, etc. with new friends (where he had previously described it as very cliquish) from his choirs and such (which is cool...hey, I would love to go with him and maybe I am a tad jealous that I can't be there to share these things with him...but I see that these are good things to share with friends), but seems to tell me about them at the last minute or tells me about them awhile after they happened (I know I talked about this one before, but now he seems to be doing repeat performances). Could it be like LMH said, where he is afraid I will be freaky and jealous (the thing is, acting like this and not being open in the first place have been behaviours which made things between us feel shaky and I thought he had really been working on openness and I had really been working on jealous...so, what's the deal?) Maybe I am not doing a very good job of describing it in a way that would convince you of how I am feeling, but it feels a bit like he is ditching talking to me because something better or more interesting has come along and feels like I will just be here any old time (he is also phoning me later and, really, both of us are grumpy and sleepy by that point, so the conversations aren't as fun as they could be, and it is not respecting that either of us have work or activities the next day). I understand that social opportunities sometimes come up on the fly and it is important to take them, but sometimes I think that he has planned them in advance and just sort of drops them on me later (which feels a little odd, because we seem, lately, to talk about everything with each other...and that is also by his choice, too...so it isn't like I am being smothery).
I'm not sure what the summary should be from that...I guess, something like I respect his social needs, but I feel like he is being rather discourteous, lately?
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