Public displays of affection

[Andy]

I watched a rather brilliant episode of Modern Family last night about this so it got me wondering...

How are you with public displays of affection?

Does it bother you intimately kissing your SO in public? Or would you rather keep that sort of thing for when you both have some privacy? How far do you go? Hold hand? Peck on the cheek? More? Also, how are you in front of family & friends? Do you hold back then?

Off you go

[Caitlin2009]

lol well we do alot of that around other people and in private, we dont care if anybody has a problem with it with kiss, cuddle, hug, ect in front of people

[Luisina]

Modern Family.. love that show

As for the questions...

Does it bother you intimately kissing your SO in public?
No, not at all.. well.. to a certain extend.. I mean, I would never stick my tongue down my BF's throat in a public spot that's a bit too intimate..
Whenever I see a young couple in the street looking like they're desperately trying to suck out their partner's tonsils, I'm like... "um, get a room?"

But I have no problem with regular kisses, holding hands, hugging from behind, sweet, shoulder kisses, stroking one's back etc... that's a sweet way of saying "I want the world to know you're mine.."

We do try to avoid sitting on top of eachother (yeah, literally "sitting") at parties.. I mean, it can be cozy and everything, but "velcro couples" are kinda annoying.. (sorry to any velcro couples out there )

Also, how are you in front of family? Do you hold back then?
In the beginning, yes.. especially me around HIS family.. it wasn't the regular pressure of "meeting the family" for me cause I'd known them before (my BF's older brother was already part of my circle of friends during my mid-teens..) but not having met in, like, 6 years, and seeing eachother in this new, in-law situation was weird for me..

Now we're pretty relaxed about it.. I mean, my parents are extremely relaxed about it. never made a fuss in the past either..
So watching a movie on the couch with my family, we'll cuddle up, he'll stroke my hair, I'll caress his arm or vice versa..

I was quite impressed with my BF when meeting my family.. he's always been very affectionate but still: he's from a very small, but tight-knit family (him included, it counts 6 people) and as for me, well.. let's just say that my family has been quite eager to spread the family genes
You'd think that he'd feel a bit awkward showing me affection in front of all those people.. but nope. He'll proudly plant a kiss on me....He's by far been the most relaxed of us..

[noodle]

I havent met my SO yet but we talked about it
I think anything that is 'normal' is alright, I mean like holdin hands, kissin and even kinda cuddlin is ok. But like I wouldnt want him to touch my intimate places in public lol Like boobs, down there and such. And also uber make-outs arent appropriate imo as well, especially if you're with friends family
Basically everythin is allowed that doesnt lead to anything super sexual ^^
I personally prefer holdin hands and such, its just weird for me to see couples who sit almost miles apart from each other and dont hold hands or give each other at least a lil kiss once

[milaya]

Think I'm okay with, holding hands, hugging and light kisses in public. Don't think deep kisses and such is necessary. I'm one of those people who can get a bit annoyed when other people do it, to be honest.

My SO has his limits... to holding hands and hugging. Anything besides that he finds to be either embarrassing or bad manners. (That's how they view it in Japan). And I'm fine with that, as long as I can hold his hand and he doesn't mind putting his arms around me.
Around my family members, he though refrains from most displays of affection of any kind. First recently has he begun to hug me and such in front of my mother.

He actually surprised me the last time we said goodbye in the airport. I gave him a hug and kissed his cheek and then when I pulled back he gave me a kiss on the mouth. Even my mother was there. But he also quickly looked around afterwards... hoped none had seen it.

[mllebamako]

When we were close distance, we were living in a conservative Muslim country so it's a bit complicated. They are not under Sharia law or anything so it's not dangerous to show PDA but it's frowned on culturally. But because I'm from another culture, people aren't really shocked that we hold hands or give each other a kiss goodbye in public. But that is only with strangers. I would never kiss him or hold his hand in front of his extended family or anyone who is our elder. Maybe I would kiss him goodbye or something in front of his immediate family (because they've lived in the States for years) but it's very rare.
I don't mind holding back in front of elders/family. In his culture, even people who've been married for 40 years have NEVER kissed or touched in public. It just doesn't happen. So if it's in front of people we'll see again, we refrain.
But just watch out America...because when we get there we'll be going crazy on each other in public!! (haha just kidding...but it will seem crazy to have any PDA)

[blankita719]

We hold hands, and will kiss each other on the cheek or quick pecks on the lips when we're in public. We are pretty affectionate in front of our boys but not inappropriately so, in that I may lay my head in his lap while watching TV, or give each other deeper kisses but our hands stay where they belong We haven't done much for PDA around our other family members but mostly because we don't spend a lot of time with them together. I think we'll probably keep it closer to the public PDA's once we start spending more time with each others families.

[folclor]

lol, well, since Alex and I usually interact on a one on one basis with few (if any) other people around, I haven't gotten comfortable with how to act around him in person when there are other people. He doesn't seem to be much for public displays of affection, though he loves to tease and will say something just to get me blushing. One time we were up at this mountain lookout and he sat down on a bench and I sat down beside him and we started snuggling but then a few elderly couples arrived and Alex said he didn't want to be disrespectful.

Around his friends I was a little...more awkward. Well, one of his friends (his best friend) wasn't so bad, he's kinda funny and kinda didn't care what we did, but the other guy was so awkward I didn't know what to do ^^;; The most I did with them around, though, was come up behind Alex and hug him while he gamed. With his family, it was about the same. I didn't know how to act, really, and he didn't really give me much guidance, though he did lead me to sit beside him and held my hand at one point. With his friends in Edmonton, though, they were so pushy I kind of retreated into myself and mainly just talked to Alex during that mess ^^; We did end up kissing at the dinner table, but that was mainly because his friends weren't paying attention ^^;

Out at the mall I wouldn't have cared if he'd kissed me or snuggled me (which we did snuggle on a bench there once) or, when we didn't quite know the people around us, I wouldn't have cared, but when we knew the people it was different. I don't know how this next visit will be, but I'm fine with at least being respectful of others around us.

[amandamayaaa]

i love that we both completely agree on this subject
PDA is a big deal, and it's hard if one person wants it, the other doesn't.. it's hard to handle
eric and i both love PDA

i agree with Luisina.. eric and i don't suck each others faces in public haha buuut we sure let people know we're together

we're always holding hands, putting our arms around each other, kissing, hugging, just being right against each other, touching his face, touching mine, i love rubbing his neck or his head.. not sexual just in a loving way
i want people to know he's mine.. not in a jealous way, but i'm so proud he's my boyfriend, i love showing him off

this is all funny to me because i was never really like that before..not as affectionate in public, and in front of family i was nevvverrr affectionate
but with eric we act the same in front of my family we do in public, i love it.. i feel comfortable, and of course we don't get too raunchy or anything, but i still don't mind touching him at all in front of them

i'm just so in love i can't help but touch him

[Élan]

When we were close distance, we were living in a conservative Muslim country so it's a bit complicated. They are not under Sharia law or anything so it's not dangerous to show PDA but it's frowned on culturally.

Same here. Although sharia law does apply to Muslims where we were close distance, so we couldn't kiss in public or anything. Well I could (foreign tourists are allowed to), but my partner couldn't. :P But anyway I am pretty uncomfortable about PDAs so it wasn't a big deal. The freedom to give my partner a small peck in public would be nice, though! :P

[nicole]

pecks on the lips/cheek, hugging and holding hands.... I've never had the inclination to have a full-on make-out session with my SO in public.... I don't like people doing it in front of me, so I don't do it in front of other people.

There was one time me and my SO went to wal-mart to get a disposable roasting pan and I hugged him in the check-out line, this lady behind us was like "get a ROOM" really loudly... That was embarrassing, but I thought she was really rude, I mean, it was a HUG for crying out loud! but I guess people have different people have different tolerances for such things =/

[Trethsparr]

He actually surprised me the last time we said goodbye in the airport. I gave him a hug and kissed his cheek and then when I pulled back he gave me a kiss on the mouth. Even my mother was there. But he also quickly looked around afterwards... hoped none had seen it.

First, let me take a moment to squee about this because it sounds so sweet! Awww. I love it!

When my SO and I were CD, apparently we were the talk of the (small, conservative, gossipy) college we attended for being so brazen with our PDA, ha ha. I find it all amusing (and frustrating) because for the first three months we dated, we didn't kiss even once, yet we held hands, had our arms around each other, stroked each other's hair, and put our heads on each other's shoulders, yet my roommate kept fielding questions about whether or not we were having sex. (We most certainly were/are not.)

The only thing I can really figure is that people were surprised by how touchy-feely we ended up being, because we're both more private, introverted people, so our delight at finding each other was at odds with how people already perceived us. We were both more than a little angered by it because some of the other campus couples were much more showy in their PDA, but they didn't appear to get the flack (including the constant commentary about the PDA from well-meaning, "concerned" people) that we did. One thing that we couldn't understand was why people are so critical, especially since we both made a habit growing up to turn a blind eye to PDA.

Now that I have graduated and he no longer lives on campus, we feel a lot freer to be ourselves and feel less of the judgment for our displays of affection for each other. We hold hands, embrace, kiss (no public make-out sessions), and cuddle in public, but we don't sit on each laps or touch each other extensively. We don't want to be the "sickening" couple around people we know, but now - especially since we're LD - if we're together, we want to make the most of it.

[machstx]

pretty much the normal PDA is ok with us(holding hangs,peck on the mouth, him holding me as we wait in line or something etc)...he slips an inapropriate touch once in awhile and i have to playfully slap him away lol.

the only time we really kiss in public is at the airport i feel its ok lol

[Snowy.Winter]

I'm really shy so I usually don't show public display's of affection as much as I'd like to. My SO got a little annoyed one day when I was with my friends and I only kissed him a few times in a few hours, I don't know, I just don't want to make my friends uncomfortable. They totally understand that we don't see each other, and they ask about him all the time, so it's not like they don't like him, because they think he's a nice guy. But I don't want to make them uncomfortable.

Same in front of my family or his family, I still get really shy and I honestly can't help that. I feel really bad sometimes, I don't want to be like that, it's just something inside me.

I always hold hands with him, give him hugs, give him a peck on the cheek. The only time in public with long kisses is at the airport, like machstx. And my SO also slips an inappropiate touch in and I playfully slap him away, but I know he loves it

[Rosebud]

I personally can't stand an over-abundance of PDA. Holding hands, hugging, small and quick kisses sure, maye even a little stroking or whatnot if you're sitting close together like in a theateror on a bunch (not, you know..fondling, but as someone else described it like a light massage), that I'm all fine with, but anything else I don't care to see or would feel comfortable doing. I got a lot of too-much PDA throughout high school and it seriously ticks me off, it's like "Yeah, I get it, you're together." I think it's inappropriate and rude when doing it someplace around a lot of other people such a bus since they really have very little choice but to look at you/be close while you do it (just a general 'you' here).

As for around family...that's a tough one since we've never been together around family or friends, except my cousin who we were fine holding hands and hugging in front of but that's about it. I really think I'd be much too shy to do much more than that.