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My SO feeling uneasy about the distance

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    My SO feeling uneasy about the distance

    So on Monday night, me and my SO were texting each other until one of us falls asleep (usually me) and we some how got into an arguement about breaking up? I had NO IDEA where the subject had come from, how it had even been brought up but he was pretty clear that I broke up with him...

    So in a panic I ended up calling him to make sense of the situation, we hadn't broken up but he didn't seem very panicked to the fact that we could have broken up. So we hung up exactly like this.
    Me: Okay well good night I guess?
    Him: Yeah, whatever good night.
    So I texted him saying, "what's going on why won't you talk to me? Are you trying to break up with me and make it look like it was my idea?"
    He replied: "Whatever I'm turning off my phone I'm sick of this crap and I'm going to bed, good nite love ya"

    I ended up going to bed, but I just could not sleep I knew something was wrong I could feel it I spent my whole night awake with no sleep until my alarm went off at 6:00AM. I car pool to university with my friend, and I told her everything she told me to send him a text explaining, I dont know what happened last night, but I'm sorry i'll give you space etc. Usually my SO will reply right away, so I was very nervous when I hadn't recieved a text back. I wrote my science mid-term panicked about the whole thing... Eventually I got a text after I finished my mid-term saying, "I don't know what to say to you, but we'll talk tonight."

    Needless to say I lost it, I ended up calling him asking him if he's breaking up with me, what's happening what did I do this was totally out of left field for me because it hadn't been a month yet since we had out last visit and he treated me like a princess
    - A REAL GUCCI BAG
    - ROSES
    - COOKED ME HOME MADE PIZZA FROM SCRATCH
    - BOUGHT ME A CRYSTAL NECKLACE
    - BOUGHT EVERYTHING WE NEEDED WHILE I WAS THERE etc.
    So the words were spoke "Yes we're done, but we'll talk more about it tonight in depth."
    I could not stop crying had to leave school and be taken home, we ended up talking later and he said he couldn't deal with the distance anymore, and it hurt him too much to say goodbye, he's stressed about the idea of what it will take to close the distance (visas, getting married, living conditions, his education, money, what he'll do for work, leaving his family etc.) I begged him to just stay with me and give us some space, and we'll talk on wednesday.

    So finally after a painfully long wednesday and after a lot of helpful advice from family and friends I grew a pair and I called him and told him you know what I can't force you to be with me if you want to break up that's just the way it'll have to be and if he needs time i'll give it to him but I will not allow myself to be strung along and wait forever. So he tells me he's been thinking alot about this distance, and all the points I noted before and he just wasn't sure. But he knew he still loved me and if we broke up we'd be so unhappy and he wants to me with me, so long story short I told him we're 19 years old and we need to focus on making our relationship strong right now and the rest will come with time, and when we get to that bridge we'll cross it together. That changed his mind and we are now getting back on track with out relationship.

    My question is, should I give him space and let him text me for a bit like me not initiate the texting, and if he wants to talk let him call so I am not being too clingy etc? Or what can I do to help him not feel the distance as hard, and secure him about us possibly having a future together? Because although we worked out our problem thankfully, I still feel a little uneasy as if i am walking on thin ice.

    p.s. sorry for the LONG ASS MESSAGE, probably should have been a blog entry.



    #2
    i dunno thats a bit of a tough one, he wants to but yet he's too chicken to say a real goodbye if he wants to end it, i would say give him some space to clear his head cause i dont think he's thinking too clearly at the moment, currently from alot of posts it seems like everybodys having a hard time dealing the with distance lately specially with holidays coming around, just give him a few days to himself and then text him if he doesnt do it first

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      #3
      Yeah for sure, he's been texting me in the morning. And trying to plan a November visit because he misses me so much. So I think your right with the holidays coming soon maybe everyones feeling it harder you know? All I can do is try to stay positive he said he doesn't want the space from me because he finds himself looking at his phone every 2 minutes seeing if I texted him or something.. So I've just been trying to be more chill and supportive trying to stay away from arguements.

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        #4
        I know its super hard to not text or call..but I think that maybe if you let him do the talking/texting he will realize just how much he loves you and want to be with you. My favorite saying is "If you want something bad enough, let it go free. If it comes back to you then its yours, if it doesn't, then you never really had it anyway". Good luck!

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          #5
          Thanks yeah I think that's all I can do and hope for the best.

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