I could use a hug...

[Zephii]

And while you're writing that letter, add in a snap shot of the future. Describe to him what your future together could be like, show him as best you can what you're both fighting for. I know he already knows, but sometimes having something to reaffirm that, something inspiring, really helps. Aside from that, I guess you can just point out to him how far you've come and that if he can not get over his fear it's all been for nothing. Simply put, you can not be long distance forever, so he needs to be brave and step up to the plate.

If you think it could help, having a planned date when he could fly home and see his family could also help. I know flights are stupidly expensive, but I think for those of us who are dealing with internationalness that they are just going to become an expensive necessity for life. If you can't budget that in before he leaves, discuss saving for it together. Tell him that he wont be trapped with you, that if the plan doesn't work you can try something else - but you need to try your original plan first (and remind him of why).

Maybe he just needs a little push in the right direction.

*Big hugs*

[seshei]

...

[seshei]

Final Update.

It's been a week since my life got thrown into turmoil. After talking to Mike last night, and telling him that I am willing to find another way to make things work, even if that involves me moving directly to England, knowing that will take longer to make happen. We spoke for a couple hours today, and he still just can't see a way through it all. He doesn't want me to do something he's not able to himself. He doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't want to keep me waiting for him to figure it out for himself. He wants me in his life. He loves me. He doesn't want it to end. But, that's just what he did. Ended it.

I am so heartbroken, and so crushed. I know it wasn't easy for him. I heard his heart break. I heard him crying like I've never heard him before. I feel so bad for him knowing he broke his own heart too. I guess it would be easier knowing that it's what he truly wanted. It would be easier if I could be angry at him. It would be easier if I knew he didn't love me anymore. It would be easier if his concerns weren't so valid. It would be easier if... I could go on. I guess it's never easy. But, I just don't feel like it was actually done. Not for me. And, not for him.

This man... He's been my best friend. He's been so kind, and gentle with me. He's been so supportive and encouraging. He's never once made me feel like there is anything wrong with me when everyone else in my life has. He's been so generous with his time, his patience, his love and his heart. It sucks to think he feels like he's always been selfish. With me, he hasn't been. I hate knowing that he will not be a part of my tomorrow, or any other tomorrow that follows.

There are things you just know, without any doubt. And there are things you just never will be sure of. I was always secure knowing my future was with him. I just knew. I would love nothing more than for him to call tomorrow, or next week, or in a few weeks, and say "This isn't what I want. I want you." I'm torn between allowing that hope in my heart, and burying it. I guess I have to find a way to deal with this all. I want to leave the door open for him. I want to hope he's brave enough to knock, and not too stubborn to stay away if this isn't what he truly wants. But, I also know I have to do my best to keep myself together, and to not just come undone.

Thanks to those who provided hugs and support through a horrible week. It was, and is, very appreciated.

[CynderAngel]

I'm so sorry to hear about this situation. It'll work out in the end. Everything happens for a reason. I know it's cliche, but it's true. *hugs*