What are your coping mechanisms?

[skinbyrd85]

It's been 5 days since I got home from visiting my SO and I'm really struggling. I miss him constantly; it feels like my heart's been ripped out. When I'm busy and keeping my mind off it, I do ok. But when I have a chance to have some time to myself, it all just comes up again.

What do you all do to cope with missing your SO? I need more stuff to do to keep my mind off it.

[Silviar]

Give yourself time to mope. Really, a day or two to be be sad, then get yourself involved in some stuff that bring you deep pleasure. Like my biggest loves are reading, writing, and doing things for my SO. When I returned from Oz, I wrote my SO a romantic love letter, then got involved in a really good book. I made sure to spend time with my SO and I gave myself some more fun hobby space.

[xMesmerize124]

Since i am in school, working, and part of my school's water polo team that usually keeps my mind off of missing my bf (it doesn't help 100 percent but it helps some)

[Karringtyn]

Keeping myself busy. NOT listening to sappy songs. MY SO knows that I really go through tough time after so he makes an extra effort to set aside extra time for phone convos..
I really plan my schedule ahead of time to be very busy...busier than usual.

And I have learned to try to have my next visit scheduled...so I have a date to countdown to.

[Èternity]

I just got back from a visit last week so I get it. The busier, the better. I'm starting to write it out as well. Some of it goes up on the blogs, some of it I just write for my own sake to get the thoughts and feelings out of my head. You need to find what works for you. Can you phone a friend or talk to anyone in your family about it? These forums are great place just to kill time if that's what you need.

[Rosebud]

I keep a journal. It's not just a journal for my general thoughts, but it's sort of like an long, constantly ongoing letter to my SO. When I mss him terribly but he's not around for me to talk to, I pull out my journal and write as though I were speaking directly to him, letting him know how I feel, even if all I do is repeat myself constantly, it doesn't matter since I just have to say it. If talking helps you and you have a friend willing to listen, that's what I do as well in calling up my bestie and just pouring everything to her. It's difficult for me to keep busy when I'm so distracted with missing my SO so I find this sort of helps for me.

[machstx]

i understand! i work 13 hour days so during the week im so exhausted i dont miss him as much. the weekends suck, staright up lol. so i work overtime when i can (extra money and im not sitting at home). my advice is lay around and mope...for me i usually get tired of laying around and then doing something is exciting simply because ive done nothing all weekend for example. planning my next trip REALLY helps. i check a bunch of different airlines for cheap flights, figure out my budget, plan what i want to wear (haha), research fun stuff online we could do. for a few bad episodes of missing him i did a bunch of the activities here on LFAD, they really cheered me up! good luck girlie let us now how your coping.

[Mrs. Meat]

Like Rosebud, I keep a journal too. It chronicles the time we spent together and what we did and the emotions I had. Its something to look back on and read and it always makes me smile when i'm feeling down and want to relive those feelings. I'm always a teary mess when I leave him and the days after I get home. I read a book and rent comedies so my mind is occupied and not thinking about how much I miss him.

[LadyMarchHare]

I generally try and keep myself busy because it occupies my mind. When I can't do that, I have backlogs of months' worth of conversations and I read them and sort of relive the moment. And this may sound weird but I have a stuffed rabbit I dubbed our 'son' that I talk to. And similar to Rosebud, I sometimes lay in my bed and 'talk' to him, just tell him my worries even if I'm really talking to the ceiling or the wall. It makes me feel connected in a way without bothering him at 3 am when I'm up and missing him because I dreamed about him. If I can stand thinking about him without crying from misery, I'll do it every chance I get. If not, I place my thoughts elsewhere and immerse myself in hobbies, drawing, whatever I can get my little hands on. I think someone mentioned once that making stuff or care packages for their SO helps them cope.

[sabby64]

I play a ton of videogames, and started writing again. I try and go to the gym when I can, me and my SO have a competition to see how much we can go to the gym until the next time we see eachother. Most days I only have 2 hours of school and so it really helps to have something to distract myself with, whether it's drawing, homework, or downloading movies... I'm usually stuck at home by myself, so I get alot of cleaning and stuff done too. I used to keep a journal, and it really helped, it's a great way to relieve stress and later you have a ton of memories to look back on.

[Tabitha]

My SO left 3 hours ago. I'll sit around and mope for the rest of the day, then it's back to school and friends tomorrow. Those things don't take the pain away, but they make it a little easier to cope.

[paulawriteslove]

I always get sad when I drop him off at the airport but then once I get back home I don't have time to be sad anymore. My schedule is so busy that it keeps my mind occupied. I also start planning the next time we can see each other

[Kika]

I usually let myself to be sad, even cry for a few hours and then I can be a busy girlfriend again. If I didnt do that, I would feel miserable for weeks. Luckily, I have 8 hours trip to him so I think about him on my way back home and I don't know, I don't really miss him (I dance, study, work, party) if we talk every day for at least 1,5 hour.