Things you should never ever say in an LDR

[lunamea]

So, for no particular reason, I've been thinking about what I can't stand hearing from my SO at all... especially being LD! I'm sure all of you have some phrases that you'd rather never heard/said or that you think should generally never be said that way in an LDR.

I guess the most hurtful thing my husband has ever said to me since we're LD was

"We have our separate lives now - you live yours for a while, and I live mine."

To me, that translated as "why don't we break up for the time being and get together when you're back?"... I guess it's one of those things you say when you're angry, but also something that should never be said no matter how mad you are.

[folclor]

yeah, that's pretty bad. ^^; My guy hasn't said too many things hurtful, but once I told him I thought I could go meet him on a certain date and his response was,

"...But that's 4 months away!"

[archangel]

I came across this website a few months ago when I was wondering about questions I could ask my sweetheart...
https://www.enoma.org/italian.htm

Here is a list from that site you SHOULD NOT ask her or anyone. I hope the questions below don't offend anyone.

Questions NOT to ask a Girl or your Girlfriend
Are you a virgin?

How old are you?

Would you like to have bigger boobs?

Would you like to lose weight?

Does size matter?

Have any kids?

Ever been married?

How many guys have you dated?

How many people have you slept with?

How many guys have you kissed?

Have you ever been with a girl?

Do you smoke or have you ever smoked?

Do you do drugs or have you ever done drugs?

Ever been in the back of a police car?

Are you stalking me?

Are you obsessed with me?

Did you know I knew we were meant to be together?

Are you sure you're not a guy?

Have you ever had surgery on your nose?

Whats your mom's PROBLEM?

Is it okay if I hate your family but I love you?

Can you...uh...change the way you look?

Why do you always look at me like if you're stupid or something?

What's my phone number, again?

When are you going on a vacation?

Is it okay if I cheat on you?

Do you love me more than your mom?

Is your little sister retarted or what?

Hey, do you want to have a kid?

Why are you the way that you are?

Will you ever grow up?

Can I try on your shoes?

Have you brushed your teeth lately?

[Michelle]

Haha, some of these I think are 100% okay if you've been with someone for awhile. And some of these, although not appropriate for a first date, are absolutely fine after 2+ dates.

[punkpain]

most of that list is just silly. its all things that you shouldnt ask perhaps on the first few dates... but almost all of them are things that can do and will come up after a certian point.

something i never wanted to hear from my s/o was "lets not plan now let wait until you are here and we have been living together for 6 months" i was like wtf? you want to marry me but you dont want to even work on any plans for marriage now... you want to wait to work on details later after you are sure we are fully compatable.

[aggie]

Haha.. yeah.. if that list was to be obeyed, id fail. theres only a couple questions ive never asked or been asked before. and even if they werent in the form of question id say the answer myself ...
but what i hated hearing from him was
"Well... now I wanna be with you. But you're going home again and I won't be seeing you. I can't promise you anything... you know, THINGS HAPPEN. you can't plan your future"
and he said that on my way to the airport... harsh?

[Veiled_Dreamer]

"How can you know you want to spend your life with someone you've never held or kissed?"

So maybe it's true, sometimes things don't work out in person, but I didn't need him to say it to me. -_-

[lunamea]

"Well... now I wanna be with you. But you're going home again and I won't be seeing you. I can't promise you anything... you know, THINGS HAPPEN. you can't plan your future"
and he said that on my way to the airport... harsh?

On the way to the airport!?! OMG! Yeah, that's pretty bad... they can be so insensitive...

[aggie]

they can be. and then they think they could fix it with simple 'but look... i love you'
i was like 'hey. why dont we break up right now if you dont believe that we can stop things from happening' - well... for me if you love someone, you dont fall in love with someone else... but he doesn't get it. and i can't really argue with that now.

i was trying to think of more inappropriate lines/questions... but right now nothing comes to my mind. i know theres the ones that make you imagine things and get crazy ideas about what the SO is up to...? anyone gets the point? [or is that just caused by my imagination and massive trust issues?]

[folclor]

oh, my goodness, on Friday (when my boyfriend was so sweet and got on to talk to me), my boyfriend told me he was hanging out with his friends during the weekend (which is fine, he usually does that), but then he said, "nathan is coming over. the others prolly wont make it, will see tho. and then it will just be hookers and blow ne? ;3" ... I know he was joking (he quickly followed up with, "jk. computer games 100%") but that's still not something you want to say to your SO. ^^;;

[lunamea]

i was trying to think of more inappropriate lines/questions... but right now nothing comes to my mind. i know theres the ones that make you imagine things and get crazy ideas about what the SO is up to...? anyone gets the point? [or is that just caused by my imagination and massive trust issues?]

I can totally see where you're coming from... it feels like just when you need reassurance, they say something like "we'll see how things work out when we're together (again)" (in my case) or something like that. I hate it when my hb does that, too. Everybody knows that not all relationships are meant to last, so there's no reason to call attention to that fact!

The same goes for joking... my husband does that, too! (not about hookers, so far, but just other stupid stuff that I didn't think was really funny either...)

[BJL_Sweetheart1109]

We had been having a rough time in the communication department. I was busy with school and finals and work (to make money for school and plane tickets)..way stressed out. He's definitely my best friend and part of my support and stress relief. I asked to webcam and he whined that he was on his XBox and asked to schedule something. We schedule something for the next night. I wait all day, have a night class and anxiously complete my final, rush home to webcam, call him before I'm even out of my vehicle....I ask Ready to webcam?

"Um I guess you forgot, but tonight is Wednesday. It's RAID NIGHT!"

Actually lead to out biggest argument to date. lol I laugh about it now, it's in the past, been resolved. But I was so angry I immediately went for the six pack when I walked into the house! FYI: No video game should take precedence over your SO!!!

I know there's something he usually tells me when I'm really upset that just pushes me over the edge....can't remember what it is, things have been pretty great since he's came home in December. lol One thing that usually irks my nerves is the "suck it up." Sometimes the LDR and missing him and school and work and everything else just gets overwhelming. Sometimes I just need to vent and let it out and maybe cry a little, don't tell me to SUCK IT UP! =P [he's really great though, don't have many complaints]

[punkpain]

OMG... today my s/o blurted this one out "if your so horny why dont you just go find some nice guy to screw for a night and ill go find some chic and we can both be less stressed out" i totally wanted to jump thru the phone and strangle the living crap outta him. we had that talk back in september... just a talk. and apperantly he really thought i was all for it or something because before we had even worked out details on if either of us would be completely ok with such a thing or any boundries ect he went and screwed one of his ex girlfriends. he told me right after it happened. so for me it wasnt a huge betrayal. i felt we were still in the talking about it stage. he clearly thought i was on the same page and lined up ready for it. needless to say i never did and dont think i ever can just go and sleep with someone else. i know him and i both agree on a semi open relatoinship ect.. because i am bi and he compeltely understands that i have urges. but i cant bring myself to do anything like that to him. it hurt me alot before and i did in fact end up breaking up with him when he didnt want to face the issue of what had happened after a few weeks. we got back together (well truthfully we never stopped talking or treating each other like we always had) but only after we had been able to work thru all of the awkwardness of what had happened, how it had happened and agreed that we couldnt and wouldnt do anything like that to each other again. so for him to bring up such a thing today made me just want to scream/ cry/ break things ect... as my cousin would say "BOYS ARE STUPID!!!"

[ech0z]

Last month, a few nights before my birthday, I was talking to my SO when this came up:

"Oh, by the way, I'm going to the movies with my mom this Saturday."

Saturday was my birthday. @_@ I got him to switch to Sunday, but ooooh, I was -not- happy. D: I mean... on my birthday, he wanted to go out with his MOTHER? o__O;;;;;

And, no, he's not a mama's boy, I swear. XD

But, other than that, I can't really think of anything else he has said that upset me... it's usually more like things he does that will make me unhappy. -.-

[**DollFace**]

Well i don't have much and i'm not sure if it is just me that thinks these are big but here goes... Ok so My SO's nickname is PedoBear(Pedofilebear...His friends are like that lol) so he is talking to my friends Ashley and Sam and Ashley was holding a teddy bear and Sam jumped on her to get it and Ashley yelled out "RAPE!" and they were laughing so Tyler gave them "PedoBear's Seal of approval"
(I guess i'm just easily jealous)

Also When ever we get into a fight or i say the wrong thing he justs says he isn't going to talk to me for the rest of the day. what is up with that? Shouldn't he try and talk it out?

I'm not sure...should i be upset over these?