Secret

[Elissa]

My girlfriend and I are still young. Her parents are homophobic. Her mom knows about us, but doesn't really accept. Her dad doesn't know, but he would cut off all contact and beat her if he knew. Even knowing the consequences, it still hurts badly. I feel selfish! Last week we were on the phone and SO told me that she loves me. Well, then came the "as a friend".
I wanted to yell out, scream, tell her idiot dad that is was more than friendship. But I couldn't. And that broke my heart.
Because of the situation, we will have to keep our engagement secret when it happens, too. I can't do that...I need advice on how to cope with this.

I'm posting and running so TIA!

[Silviar]

I wish I could give you an answer, but I don't have any support I can give other than my personal support and encouragement to both of you for loving who you love. It may be a good idea for both of you to join an LGBT support group, as they can offer specific suggestions in relation to your issues.

I also wanted to say I am so, so sorry you're going through this. It stinks, and it's unfair, and you have my sympathy as well as support.

[LadyMarchHare]

Even though you're both young, let me tell you something: the parents are like icing on a cupcake. There's always the option to leave it there even if you don't like it, and there's the option of scraping it off and ignoring it. Just because they're her parents doesn't mean you have to like them or deal with them, same with them. I can understand the prejudice for a different reason (racism) between SOs and parents as my mother loathes my guy, but so long as your girlfriend isn't planning to stay under their roof forever, you guys have each other to get through this time. There's nothing they can do to break you guys apart, even if they take away all communication.

[Laura024]

I'm really sorry your love has to remain a secret. It's very unfair to you. It upsets me so much to think not all parents love their children unconditionally, especially when something they can't help like homosexuality is brought out.

It makes me sad when I hear about how homophobia exists in society. I just can't understand it. In one of my classes, someone did a presentation on sexual orientation and showed this Youtube video. It's really interesting and I recommend everyone watch it.

[Caity]

I agree with Lady March Hare. Her parents don't have to like you. They aren't going to be the ones who will be marrying you and spending their life with you. All that matters is that you love her and she loves you. If you could be patient and wait till she moves out before telling her parents then there is nothing they can do about it. Tell her not to let her parents' opinions get to her. It's her choice with who she wants to date. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find a solution.

@Laura: That's a really great video. =)