Getting his emotions over the phone..

[monita1847]

Hi everybody!

I was just wondering, if someone of you has had a following situation..

like when i talk on the phone, im good at conveying my emotions, whether im happy, upset, worried,etc etc

but he, hes like..i donno, maybe it is because his accent but i dont get emotions in his voice..
its like we talk, and for me its impossible to understand whether hes happy, sad...worried...i donno..its like i dont get his emotions across!

has anyone had a similar case? and what could be done about it?

is it really that some people dont know how to convey their emotions in their voice?

and its really disturbing me...i mean, we dont live together, so HOW ELSE, could i know, what he is REALLY feeling, if i dont get it from his voice??

Thanks!

[milaya]

Hey.

I understand your problem.
I have a boyfriend who can't seem to convey his feelings neither in his voice nor in words. Which actually has caused an argument or two. Unfortunately I have no good advice for you, since I have just started trying to just get used to it. For my boyfriend it's a cultural thing. Japanese people don't talk much about feelings and such.
I'm not trying to figure out other ways to "read" his emotions. Though it requires quite an effort at times.

[monita1847]

we'll the guy im talking about also comes from asian background. hes ethnic sri lankan.
if i had known the whole asian thing...i mean, i wud have never started it..i swear!
i mean, a few months earlier before we met, i had met one other asian guy and got so pissed off because he was so terribly closed and wouldnt open up and then i swore to myself, i wud never ever deal with asians again lol
well, i guess india, sri lanka falls in to the same pit..if only i had known.
for me, well, i have lots of temperament and i am VERY VERY emotional person. i have this latin temperament, so , could it get any worse??
its like, i talked to my african friend over the phone to whom i hadnt basically talked like for 2 years, and now we talk like half an hour and i get like ALL THE emotions hes feeling...and it made me SO happy!
and then, this sri lankan guy, we ve been talking so much , writing to each over the past few months, several hours almost every day...and he is yet to make me feel as this african guy did with JUST 30 min!

[milaya]

Ah yes Asian... that explains it. Unfortunately it is a cultural thing.
All you can do is to be patient and give him time, because it's something that needs work on.
In the beginning what actually annoyed me the most about my boyfriend is that he doesn't talk much at all, but since we started dating he has approved a lot in that area and I know he tries to do his best.
He is also trying to improve when it comes to talking about feelings, it's a slow progress, but every time he actually does talk about feelings or says something sweet, it means the world to me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that he is not going to change over night, no matter what you do. All I can say is that I do understand if it makes you a bit frustrated, because I have been there and still am sometimes - which unfortunately sometimes results in me pushing him a little... often by awakening his jealous side (because when he is jealous I can more easily hear his emotions). Which I'm trying to work on.

It gets easier as time passes, because you will learn ways to read him. (Of course I don't know how long you have been dating).
Now I can actually pick up a lot of very small hints, the signs of emotions he doesn't make clear. I know that there's certain words he uses when he's in a bad mood and other things.

I'm not a very emotional person myself though, which I guess helps a bit.
I do convey feelings in my voice, but I can't talk about them either. Which is maybe why I always felt comfortable among Asians... and therefore I've only dated Asian guys. Since a guy expecting too many feelings from me... wouldn't work out.