Adding to the misery

[Caitlin2009]

And thank you, I honestly have no idea how I do it, either. I just do and take what I can get and be happy with it.

because your meant to be able to put up with it, even though its hard your able to do it. just like military folks can handle the same thing not hearing from there loves for weeks sometimes months there meant to be able to handle it and so are you. its the same for any couple on how much they communicate whether its everyday, every other day, once a week, once a month, ect all of us are meant to be able to handle it however often we communicate and see our SO's until were able to close the distance.

[vixx360]

I feel your pain, I know how important it is to have the reality of a firm date to see each other, it just makes everything real and a bright shining light at the end of the tunnel keeps me from going insane.

Your situation sounds so very tough and I admire your ability to deal with it in such a grounded and understanding way, I really don't know that I would be able to have your patience. As for having a whine and a winge, go ahead girl, you need to get it out every now and then.

I'm not going to offer any advise, I doubt that anything I can say will help you to change your situation but I will offer a supportive hug and the quote I live by these days that "good things come to those that wait", a little trite i know but if it doesn't apply here then it doesn't apply anywhere.

Your patience will pay off, I'm sure of that and we'll all sit here patiently and supportively waiting for the day that you post a 'yeah we've done it' thread.

[LadyMarchHare]

I feel your pain, I know how important it is to have the reality of a firm date to see each other, it just makes everything real and a bright shining light at the end of the tunnel keeps me from going insane.

Your situation sounds so very tough and I admire your ability to deal with it in such a grounded and understanding way, I really don't know that I would be able to have your patience. As for having a whine and a winge, go ahead girl, you need to get it out every now and then.

I'm not going to offer any advise, I doubt that anything I can say will help you to change your situation but I will offer a supportive hug and the quote I live by these days that "good things come to those that wait", a little trite i know but if it doesn't apply here then it doesn't apply anywhere.

Your patience will pay off, I'm sure of that and we'll all sit here patiently and supportively waiting for the day that you post a 'yeah we've done it' thread.

Thank you. I know my situation doesn't give leeway for a lot of advice, which is alright, but the support is always a welcome thing. Someone told me once, "it has to get worse before it gets better" and I think it applies here too. Things seem to just get a little worse each time, but eventually they'll get better and better. Like you said, it's a matter of waiting which is truly a test for me as honestly my patience is pretty thin. Again, thank you.

[noodle]

Everyone on here already gave pretty good advice and helped you but Imma just allow myself to give you my 2cts as well lol

I know how you feel cause Im in the same situation. My SO is extremly busy with college and since Im graduatin next april/may Im busy as well which means less time for me to work and get money. And in the 3 months Im off before university starts, I'll have to work so I can pay for my tution fees and as well have the applying process and tests goin on >_> So from my side it's like 80% sure that I cant go see him.
As for him not givin you his adress, I can understand that, I dont know where my SO actually lives either (family house), due to his parents not wantin him to even contact me in any way. Im a lil luckier maybe cause I can send stuff to his post box thingy at college.

The longing to see him is horribly huge. The fact to know that I actually cant see him in like 6 months or less, like most of the other couples on here, makes it even worse.

Personally I can only say that try to push this aside and just focuse on the love and the relationship from a distance and just slightly work in the meetin thing (dont force it). I think that there is this one time coming up when just everything fits and than you have to take your chance and be like "ok Im doin this!".

I really hope for you that this moment will be soon cause I know how much the uncertainty hurts...

[LadyMarchHare]

Thanks noodle. The uncertainty kills me a lot, but most days I'm just glad that he's a text away and that I have someone, even if they're x amount of miles away. I think the blow that I wouldn't be with him for what I felt was an important date really hit me along with the pain that I have to keep up not talking to him for days/weeks at a time for several more months. That's been the hardest about it all, is I don't get to just TALK with him as much as others do and so the one date we thought was gonna be solid, isn't. But, there'll be a day we can be in the same room. It's just hard to have that amount of hope some days.

[Silviar]

I can't offer any good suggestions as Karr already mentioned the PO box; it sounds like from all the things you've talked about over the last few months that until he's ready to make some changes - new job or roomies, etc - that your holding pattern isn't going to pick up speed, and for that I'm so sorry. Circumstances outside of our control sucks. so, I wanted to offer a *hugs*

[noodle]

Thanks noodle. The uncertainty kills me a lot, but most days I'm just glad that he's a text away and that I have someone, even if they're x amount of miles away. I think the blow that I wouldn't be with him for what I felt was an important date really hit me along with the pain that I have to keep up not talking to him for days/weeks at a time for several more months. That's been the hardest about it all, is I don't get to just TALK with him as much as others do and so the one date we thought was gonna be solid, isn't. But, there'll be a day we can be in the same room. It's just hard to have that amount of hope some days.

I really have to say I look up to you. I go crazy if I dont get to talk to my SO for a day or two and you dont talk to yours for days/weeks! Really you deserve an award for that no joke
But if you made it this far it just shows how tough you are. And this one day will come sooner than we all think *big hugs*

[LadyMarchHare]

I can't offer any good suggestions as Karr already mentioned the PO box; it sounds like from all the things you've talked about over the last few months that until he's ready to make some changes - new job or roomies, etc - that your holding pattern isn't going to pick up speed, and for that I'm so sorry. Circumstances outside of our control sucks. so, I wanted to offer a *hugs*

He's trying to break the lease he's in at the moment since the current apartment he's at is draining his funds. It's basically the reason he's working longer hours as well because he needs the money. Once he can find a new place I think things will ease up just a bit. I don't expect it to be like it was in the beginning where we were talking every other day for a while, but I'd feel better knowing he's not living on Monster energy drinks just to get through 12+ hour shifts every day. As for the job, I'm holding him to the "if I don't find anything by next year, we'll see about me moving" promise. I can't GUARANTEE him a job where I am, but we can try and I have relatives I could make nice-nice with for help.

I know the whole "well he's not changing jobs, why isn't he?" thing seems, well, bad. I know how it looks from the other side. But talking to him, he's basically losing a lot of hope for any silver lining and kicks himself for the fact I'm looking for a job to move to him since he had only taken the promotions there to have money to move me himself and support us. He's come to believe that nothing else would be any better, he'd have to work the same hours for bare necessities, etc and when someone's that deep down in a depression hole, you're gonna need an act of congress to get 'em out. Me, I'm barely the supreme court. I do try, though, and eventually it'll either get through or I hire someone to drug and kidnap him.

[noodle]

I know the whole "well he's not changing jobs, why isn't he?" thing seems, well, bad. I know how it looks from the other side. But talking to him, he's basically losing a lot of hope for any silver lining and kicks himself for the fact I'm looking for a job to move to him since he had only taken the promotions there to have money to move me himself and support us. He's come to believe that nothing else would be any better, he'd have to work the same hours for bare necessities, etc and when someone's that deep down in a depression hole, you're gonna need an act of congress to get 'em out. Me, I'm barely the supreme court. I do try, though, and eventually it'll either get through or I hire someone to drug and kidnap him.

Same with my SO, I get a bunch of "why doesnt he work more/change job/save money to come see you?´"
Its all easier said than done.

[Caitlin2009]

its not that easy to change jobs just like that anymore, the economy sucks and i would so quit my job in a heartbeat(eventually will when i go back down to get married to Denise) and get another one if i could, the fact that he's trying to make it better and make it so he can move to be with you says alot about him