When honesty hurts your SO....

[Cali2LDN]

Today I was honest with my SO and it really really hurt him...
What can i do to fix this? How do I make things right? I am desperate to fix this. My life is honestly nothing, meaningless without him.

I was honest with him about a guy I use to really like flirting with me and I was saying how I was shocked ya know. Sh*tty thing to say I know. So how do I fix this?

[LadyMarchHare]

I don't think there's a need to apologize for honesty, but that's me. You told him something you believed he needed to know, he took it badly. He'll either get over it or pout, there's really nothing to say. That's like being sorry you told him you had a bad day and he feels bad for you.

[Cali2LDN]

I don't think there's a need to apologize for honesty, but that's me. You told him something you believed he needed to know, he took it badly. He'll either get over it or pout, there's really nothing to say. That's like being sorry you told him you had a bad day and he feels bad for you.

You always make sense *hugs* thank you!

[Kirschlein]

I always tell my SO when guys try to flirt with me, but i usually add something like: they have no chance anyway (which is really true, because i ignore them or say something so they get owned xD)
But he never gets angry over it, it rather pushes his self esteem because i am his girlfriend. So he is proud to have such a goodlooking one xD

o_o did you even flirt back?
I don't understand really much the context, because if you flirted back and you really felt like you want that guy to know and such things, then i would be kinda mad too xD
but if you didn't then well... the same as Lady said o.o

He should be happy that you are honest to him... better than lying and he finds out.

[michy]

If you did not reciprocate the flirting, then I see nothing that you've done wrong, and additionally, I don't see any reason for your SO to be hurt over this. You have no control over things guys say to you, flirty or otherwise, so really the only thing your guy should be concerned about is your reaction to it

I always tell my SO when guys try this stuff with me- Scott and I will be talking and I'll say "You won't BELIEVE what this guy said..." and we actually have a little laugh together over some poor guy barking up the wrong tree, lol!

[BlackCherryJam]

Like the others have said, if you didn't flirt him back you did nothing wrong. If you still want to talk with him about it I suggest you could make it clear that he's the only one you want. Tell him that you're not interested in that other guy. Hope everything turns out fine!

[Cali2LDN]

I am a natural flirt, so of coarse I went along with his flirting, so there I did do something very very wrong
But I have told him I am a natural flirt if some guy flirts with me then I friendly flirt back.
God I am such a terrible girl friend

[princessmia]

You're not a terrible girlfriend.
Everyone makes mistakes every once and a while, we are human after all.
I think it might have to do with the fact that the guy who was flirting with you is close to you, unlike your SO, therefore, if you find him attractive/flirt back it's partially because of this fact.
And especially if you're a natural flirt, it's just something that your guy has to accept.
There's nothing you can really do about your SO except time, and maybe tell him you love him a lot more and give reasoning why and how you can't live without him, things like that work for me when my SO is feeling sad or upset...
I agree with BlackCherryJam. Tell him that you're not interested in the guy, only him.
And if that doesn't work, you can always tell him things you're going to do to him next time you see him, it will definitely get his mind off it

[mattheww65]

My girlfriend does the same thing, as in she's brutally honest with me sometimes and it does hurt, but then a good relationship is built on a foundation of trust, and I respect her for her honesty.

If you don't feel like you can tell your SO anything that you believe or that happens, good or bad, then I personally don't think a relationship is on the right path.

[Cali2LDN]

My girlfriend does the same thing, as in she's brutally honest with me sometimes and it does hurt, but then a good relationship is built on a foundation of trust, and I respect her for her honesty.

If you don't feel like you can tell your SO anything that you believe or that happens, good or bad, then I personally don't think a relationship is on the right path.

omg a guy's point of view whose gf is like me! Thank you so much! That totally make sense!!!

[Zephii]

Really I don't think you did anything wrong, I think he just needs to grow up. Honesty is the stuff trust is made out of. Everyone could do with a bit more honesty! Remind him you love him, and then let it blow over.

One thing concerned me however. YOU are a whole and beautiful being without him You might be very sad if he left, but it wouldn't make your life meaningless. Be strong in yourself, because YOU matter. It's not at all healthy to fall into the trap of thinking your life would end if he were no longer part of it. I hope I'm making sense!

[nicole]

I would ask him if he would be more hurt if you didn't tell him those things or not? Personally, I would be, I mean I don't like hearing it, but it would be worse if he felt like he couldn't tell me these things.

he probably just felt a bit threatened, if you just reassure him it was harmless and you wouldn't overstep the mark, he should just deal with it and move on.

[Butterfly]

I am a natural flirt, so of coarse I went along with his flirting, so there I did do something very very wrong
But I have told him I am a natural flirt if some guy flirts with me then I friendly flirt back.
God I am such a terrible girl friend

I am the exact same way and it's a habbit I really need to break! I think I'm just a naturally flirty person. Sometimes I can't help it. I in NO way am interested in anyone else but him, but it just happens sometimes. Especially since we are in an LDR, I always feel so guilty when I do that. I think everyone has that flirt gene in them.

Also, if it's harmless flirting (ie: no touching, phone numbers exchanged, or anything of that nature) then I think it's fine and sort of unnecessary to tell him. Of course if something bigger happened then I think honesty is always the best policy. But for something small like that, I don't think I'd mention it. That's just my opinion and I know every relationship is different! You didn't do anything really wrong so try not to beat yourself up about it.

[Cali2LDN]

Really I don't think you did anything wrong, I think he just needs to grow up. Honesty is the stuff trust is made out of. Everyone could do with a bit more honesty! Remind him you love him, and then let it blow over.

One thing concerned me however. YOU are a whole and beautiful being without him You might be very sad if he left, but it wouldn't make your life meaningless. Be strong in yourself, because YOU matter. It's not at all healthy to fall into the trap of thinking your life would end if he were no longer part of it. I hope I'm making sense!

Yeah its just the mere thought of me not being with him that kills me. I love him so much, we made SO MANY plans for the future. I know I can live my life without him because him and I did have a 4 month break, but I was miserable I hated it
But yes you are making sense here. :P

[Cali2LDN]

Good news! My SO and I have resolved the issue!