Us against the world? Are your friends and family supportive of your LDR?

[Elissa]

My friends and family are supportive. Her friends and family, not so much.

[milaya]

My friends and family seems very supportive. My mom likes him, even though they can't communicate, but she always comments on how nice he seems and how she can tell that he cares a lot about me. My friends always asks when he'll visit next. Think the only problem is my father. He asks like he is totally supportive, but he's not. Because he always says things like "Just because he pays to visit you, doesn't mean he loves you", "You shouldn't be so sure he'll keep coming next year"... etc. And he often talks about him, like my SO is less a human than he is, because my SO is not European. My father is pretty racist.

His family and friends also seem supportive enough... at least they don't mind it.

[Èternity]

Not one. Even fellow LDR'ers. Boo on 'em all.

Why do you think that was? I'm always curious when people in my predicament can't be happy for me, or at least a bit sympathetic.

[Kirschlein]

Both families, mine and his are supporting us, but his mother has some issues sometimes so it can also be pretty difficult xD
Too complicated to explain. But atleast we set a date for next year in the summer, the only thing i need to find is the apartment and then its really sure that we will close the distance... <3

and my friends are all 'AYYY SO CUTE YOU NEED TO COME TOGETHER YOU CAN DO IT' fangirls xD
They also always ask me how long i still need to wait and they are curious to see him and do things with him... hehe

[Yorkshire Girl]

My parents are very supportive of us ... they love him as if he was there own son. And they want to see us happy. His parents and family are supportive too, I just get the impression that because they don't see us together often as they are far away, they don't realise the deepness and love of our relationship.

We both get on well with eac others family and friends though, so it helps our relationship.

[noodle]

Friends yes.
My best has apparently even involved my SO in my bday present (my bday is in 2 weeks) x) I wonder what it is lol Tho Im kinda dissapointed that he wont be here lol

Parents. yes and no.
My dad finally realized that Im more serious with my SO and that he cant change it. He once asked about him comin and how he could help or whatever.
My mum says hi to him on skype, always. Yet sometimes she has some very sarcastic comments How Im basically missin chances over here to date guys cause of a guy over the ocean... ugh
It hurts, but they'll eventually get over it...

[Micah]

My family is supportive, but I am very private about my relationship. So, because of this, I feel they don't get the extent of how serious we are. When I talk about moving there, they act like it is just an idea I am throwing around, not something that will come into fruition. So, in other words, it isn't taken as seriously as it should be due to our families both being left out of the loop. I think that after the holidays people will understand the love we have for one another because they will be witnessing it firsthand. Then, perhaps the support and understanding will increase. Either way, we're both adults and are going to do what we want to do. Although, it's easier to journey through life when you have the support of your loved ones.

[London-FortCollins]

Hmm, good question! I was actually going to start a thread on this sometime soon so I'm glad I found the one already going.

My family, I'm not really sure. They know me to be impulsive and wear my heart on my sleeve a little bit so I dont think they took it that seriously at first. After our first meeting and definitly after I was over there for 3 months I think they are more so now. My mum said when she went with me to the airport before I left "So this is going to be it for a while isnt it? Here for a few months then off again?" But she said it in a really accepting way which really did mean a lot to me.

My nan and aunt I dont think really get it, but thats because they dont really get the internet I think! I cant wait for them all to meet him - I know they'll be very charmed by him.

My friends...most have been really supportive. They understand how difficult it must be and even when I'm gone for long periods of time are really excited for me.

Apart from what was my closest group of girls. None of them seemed over enthused when me and my SO first got together. I could tell they were trying to be but they just didnt get it and wern't very supportive.

I gave up drinking for my SO. He didnt ask me to - I wanted to. He is more important to me than the occasional few glasses of wine on a night out. My friends thought I was changing for him, that I wasnt being "true to myself" - sorry, I thought not drinking through a personal decision was a good thing?!

Then when I came back after 3 months not one of them understood what I was going through. Granted I was really distant with them when they tried to make plans, but they should have known me well enough that I am never that standoffish, there must have been something wrong. Instead they basically attacked me. Had a go at me for not being "greatful" to be back in London, and I should live life and all this rubbish. Bare in mind I'd only been home a week.

Anyways, there was other stuff involved but basically, none of them are talking to me any more. And it stemmed from them simply not understanding how I must be feeling or even trying to understand what I must be going through. And although it hurts something awful if they're not prepared to try and understand how I'm feeling perhaps they're not people I need to have in my life.

Weirdly people I hardly know - new colleagues etc are some of the most supportive people I know! The people I work with at the moment have been absolutely wonderful. They're all really amazing people.

So overal a bit of a mixed bag.

On the other hand his friends and family have all been amazing. Maybe it helps that they've met me. (my first visit was a whirlwind of meeting everyone he knows! ) But they all say they've never seen him happier and things like "Dont let go of that one" which makes me so happy - if very embarrassed. I'm glad they are all so supportive of us....they're gonna have to be if it looks like its going to be him moving here.


So my question - how do you cope with the unsupportive people/comments etc?

[garnet]

Why do you think that was? I'm always curious when people in my predicament can't be happy for me, or at least a bit sympathetic.

My best guess is that we all had so much in common that it became a bit of a contest. I admit, I was jealous that my friends could afford frequent visits, but I honestly tried to be supportive too. The claws didn't come out at us until we applied for the Visa. They were fine with us when we were lonely and unable to visit each other.
It was sad, people I've been friends with for years, when we got married, not so much as a "grats" on facebook.

[Luisina]

My family's totally supportive... they met him several times before he left and really like him.. so they often ask about him and his travels... I think his family likes me as well.. hope so at least. his mom had met me prior to me dating Morten as I used to hang out with his big brother, Anders, when I was younger.. so, it's all a bit weird with a former really good friend (now accuaintance) as my brother-in-law..
I don't know if his mom's a bit annoyed with me for raving about my travels and thus making Morten keen on leaving as well... she was not really on board with the whole travel thing in the beginning.. it got better.. but she's worried...... just like me

Friends.. well, we have a lot of mutual friends and they kinda saw it coming.. and now, they accept that I'm having a hard time with him being away, but I don't think they quite grasp it.. I don't expect them to.. but it's like now that he's gone, it's not a "real" relationship to them..
But I don't care.. I'm proud and so exited for him

[Luisina]

Because that's pretty much the opposite of what I say (jokingly), that God must love interracial couples the most because mixed babies are always the cutest

aaaaaaw, tell me about it!

[blankita719]

My family loves him - in fact my mom is already planning our wedding, and we're not even officially engaged yet My friends are happy that I am happy. Some don't always understand why I go through it but they have seen me through some pretty rough times, and they get it that he is worth the stress. He isn't as close to his parents, so not sure how they feel about me. His brother and his son treat me just like I'm family already, so we have a great support system around us.

This whole LD is rough enough on its own, I can't imagine how much harder it would be if no one supported us. Big hugs to those of you who don't have that

[michy]

My family knows me to be a bit unpredictable/unconventional, so they never so much as raised their eyebrows when I declared my love for a man across an ocean, LOL. My mom asked me, "Are you SURE about this... really sure??" And when I assured her I was, they supported us from the beginning. They've met him a few times, and were absolutely charmed by him. My mom tells me it's obvious how happy he makes me!
They're contributing to our wedding fund, and one of my good friends here in DC is paying her OWN way to Scotland for our wedding, because she wants to be there for us. His mom sent me a really nice message saying "welcome to the family" and his dad told me "you're a lovely girl" after I had met him I'm really lucky with the support!
I admire the strength of those who have to walk this road without shoulders around them to lean on... it is a rough road! At least there is a place like this to turn to for support, with people who KNOW what it's like

[DarkSolitary]

My friends? Depends on which set of friends.

My family? Totally supportive.

His family? Nope.

His friends? Eh...

[lucybelle]

Well seeing as though my mom almost married a Spanish man herself, she's completely in love with the idea that my SO is Costa Rican! On the other hand, I don't think my dad even knows yet... Just like above, I'm very private with my relationships and I only just recently told my mom I liked him more than a friend.

Some of my friends are more supportive than others. Some tell me I'm crazy to go so far to see someone. And when I mention that I think I'll move down there, they'll say "Geeze I guess we'll never see you again" So I started only talking to supportive friends about him. Everyone else, I just leave it out