I doubt my feelings

[lucybelle]

Sometimes I worry that my feelings aren't real. I feel so sure that I'm so in love with my SO, but sometimes I doubt myself. I wonder if I'm really in love with HIM, or am I in love with the IDEA of being in love with him? You know, it seems like such a fairy tale. We met in a different country, and turns out we're soul mates? I wonder if I "love" him because I love that he's latino, and can dance salsa, and speaks Spanish, and has dark hair and dark eyes. He would do ANYTHING for me. And in fact he is. He's dropping everything to come live with me for a few months. He makes me feel so special.

Ugh I don't know. Am I in love with being loved? Or am I in love with him?

[bluepotato1236]

How long have you been in the relationship? Maybe give some times for you to see whats is exactly in your mind.. Dont rush things. Good Luck! :-)

[LadyMarchHare]

You might be overthinking the aspect of love. Yeah it seems rather grandiose that you find your destined love somewhere that's not near you and he's perfect for you, but that's basically love in a nutshell. I think if you didn't love him, you wouldn't be so concerned with the possibility it's a farce. Maybe you're just unsure because you guys aren't together in person right now?

[lucybelle]

How long have we been in a relationship? Well that's a tough thing to answer. See we're still not technically "a couple". But we've been "closer than friends" for over a year and a half. He recently asked me to be his girlfriend over chat, and call me old-fashioned, but I would have none of that! haha I just feel like that's something that needs to happen in person. So he said he'd ask me when he comes to visit in TWO WEEKS!

And thanks Lady... when I'm with him I feel so in love. I think I worry that it won't work out because we've spent so little actual time together. You know?

Thanks for the advice!

[LadyMarchHare]

Well this is just me, but I believe there's a difference between emotional and physical distance. You can be a million miles away and be on the phone and act like you're there in the room with them just as someone can be in the room and act a million miles away. You may not have ever been in the same room technically before, but you've spent plenty of time together. Though even then there's a difference as someone would point out as you can only get so much with text/a webcam. I think once you guys meet, your feelings will be confirmed and your mind put at ease.

[lucybelle]

I always think "next time I see him I'll know for sure how I feel". But I'm usually just so worn out from traveling and nervous to see him that I don't register what my feelings are. I guess I would know if I didn't feel anything towards him.

And I agree with what you said about being together even though we're far apart. I like that there's some people out there in the world that can relate to it=)

[LadyMarchHare]

Sounds like you're trying to stamp a date/rush the knowing. Which, I understand it's crazy wondering if you love them or the ideal (I went through that at a time, so I can relate) and you want to know or think "OK this'll let me know" and you're still stuck wondering if you do know after all or if something else will let you know. Just like you can't help who you fall in love with, you can't help when you know and even then you may not figure out you knew all along until some time down the road. While I know that doesn't really help, you at least know you care a great deal for him.