is 5273 miles too far??

[sereneone]

I am in a LRD with a super guy from Germany. I live in Washington State.
I don't mind being in a LDR, but how long can it go on?
We also have a few obstacles....he speaks German and I do not and I am teaching him English. He knows the basics.
We speak most everyday my means of skype, nimbuzz, google talk, and I am sure there will be more ways coming.
The time change is often an issue, we usually speak when he gets home from work and after he has eaten dinner which is noon for me, the middle of my day.
With the language barrier it is hard to get real answers from him in where he thinks or wants this relationship to go.
I like having a plan, and right now I don't think we have one.
Any advice?? from other LDR with language barrier?

[Čternity]

Well we don't have a language barrier but I get the distance and time zone issues and they suck. yep thats the right word. We are 8600 miles and 17 hours time difference. I feel your pain. It's great that you have a routine because it 'normalises' things a bit. If he reads English better than speaking it maybe use that instead. and yes having a plan helps everything. A plan with milestones like visits etc. Hope things get better soon.

[lucybelle]

Well geeze if you don't speak German and he doesn't speak English how are you even sure you're in a relationship? Sorry to be so blunt about it, but you really need to figure a couple things out quick. Learning a language is not quick, not easy, and even once you're fluent you still won't be able to express yourself as well as in your native language. Are you "teaching" him english while skyping? He should be taking English classes and you need to take German classes.

My SO's 1st language is Spanish. He also speaks fluent English, and I speak fluent Spanish. But even with that, there's still times when I know I'm not saying exactly what I want to, because I just don't have the vocabulary in Spanish to do so.

The distance you can work around. The language has to be dealt with! I recommend reading books in German. Start with kids books to learn the way it looks and sounds. Having an SO who speaks another language is possible, but you all HAVE to be able to communicate.

[archangel]

My advice....Don't Give Up!
Also is 5273 miles too far? I'll trade you! :P I am 7958 miles (2685 miles difference) from my SO and we have a 15/16 hour time difference.
One thing I would recommend is if time becomes and issue, like not enough to talk to each other... write emails to each other instead. Maybe you could help him with his English while he teaches you German

AA

[Silviar]

It's not too far - my boyfriend and I are over 9k miles and we make it work. Keep working on the languages, and see how things work out. Does he think you're in a relationship? That's something to consider.

[sereneone]

thank you for the comment. His English is getting much better than my German. Its the heavy conversations that we can't have, and that is difficult. We definitely have a real connection....I guess I am just looking for people in my same boat to lament with about our LDR's....I so want to be near him that I would leave here at a drop of a hat should he desire that.....but how to breach that subject.

[sereneone]

Thank you....I am not giving up yet...just trying to figure out how to stay in Germany longer as to immerse myself in the language and culture so to better understand him. His English is improving from day one. He is a smart and did I mention good looking guy ; -)

[Karringtyn]

Dont EVER let the language barrier stop you. Work at it and keep the faith. When love happens it happens...it CAN work.

[sereneone]

yes we are in a relationship...and I have had semi-LDR before but not international. I met his family on my last trip there.
I am worried that the back and fourth may become to expensive though.
I will just have to see.

[GinieBelle]

Hi I live in France and my fiancé lives in Denver 5138.4 Miles seperates us, our story is a fairytale for sure if anyone of you guys wants to know about it i'd be glad to help

[milaya]

Hi. My SO and I also have around 5300 miles between us (Denmark - Japan), it can work.
And you don't need to be fluent in a language to be in a relationship. My SO doesn't understand English (or Danish), so we talk in Japanese together. I'm not fluent in Japanese, yet, but I know it well enough so we can have long, (sometimes deep), conversations without problems and I can understand/read and answer his e-mails. And because of him (and university) my Japanese is improving everyday.
Just, let your relationship run it's course and let yourselves improve your language skills day by day.

Are you "teaching" him english while skyping? He should be taking English classes and you need to take German classes.

Classes are not the only way to learn a language.
I can fully express myself and have long conversations Japanese, without any major problems. I can even write and read it. And I have first started "classes" in September, since Japanese is my major in university. The Japanese I know, I learned from watching Japanese dramas, listening to music, and traveling in Japan. (= talking with people.) I never took classes, I remembered words and I used them. And I'm sure I did something right, since I now get 100 percent in my tests at university without opening a book. I took German classes for 7 years (in school), but can't speak it at all.

[SeattleLove]

Hey, be positive about it
And guess what? I live i Germany and my SO lives in Seattle, WA, just like you and your So, onyl the opposite way And I tell, as long as you don't think about it negatively and doubt your relationship, you can make it work for sure. And langauge are meant to be learned. His english will be better very soon, because of talking to you so often. And you might also improve your German by taking lessons from him or any other place....Believe in it and it will last
If you wanna PM, just sent me a short message...

How did you guys meet, btw?

[SpectacularViews]

It absolutely is not. We're 8300 miles away and I am absolutely happier than I've ever been.

[BlackCherryJam]

Just don't give up! The language thing gets easier all the time when you talk. I know it's hard but it's worth it

[lucybelle]

Classes are not the only way to learn a language.

I agree, but if they do not even have a basic knowledge in each other's language it is really important to at least learn conjugations, some nouns, and simple verbs. We all know that you can't become fluent just by taking language classes. I learned all my Spanish while in a Spanish speaking country. But I had some prior knowledge (1 year of classes). When I was in France, trying to learn French, it was extremely difficult. I learned some phrases and words but I couldn't get a grasp on the language without having that basic element learned.