so upset.

[ErikaCrane]

So, its official, My SO won't be coming up. I'm so upset. I had this picture of seeing him and being so happy. But that wont happen now.. I don't know what to do anymore. My heart is broken, and I'm so mad at my SO. I told him I hated him last night and that he needed to find a way up or we over. He promised me every 3 months.

[archangel]

Whoa! Just because your SO isn't coming to visit doesn't mean it is the end of the world! Me and my SO had to postpone one of our trips by 6 months because of worried parents. So, you might miss being able to see each other in person on this 3 month mark, there is always the next one. Even it is 6 months away, don't let that drag you down.
Really... if we all could see our SO's as much as we wanted, we wouldn't be in an LDR right?
Take a Deep breathe and talk it over with him about the next trip... okie?

AA

[ErikaCrane]

He won't be allowed up. That's whats getting me. His "parents" don't have the money to bring all up, so he can't come up himself.

[JoMarie]

Sadly things happen. I think you should see the bright side of things. His parents seem to love him. He could have parents that aren't there for him. How old is he?

[Caitlin2009]

it took me and Denise a full year before she could come up to visit me, we had sceduled a few times but due to circumstances beyond our control we couldnt visit at that time, but it happened. You cant threaten to break up with him if things beyond his control happen, life happens just kinda deal with it and plan another date! why not go and visit him!

[paulawriteslove]

I'm sorry to say this, but that's life. Life isn't fair sometimes, but don't blame this on him. He probably feels horrible and doesn't need you giving him a hard time. Try to be positive and just look forward to the next time you can possibly see each other.

[Zephii]

Mate, it'll be ok. If you love each other, you can wait. It took Obi and I five freaking years to meet and we're not permanently damaged by it. Yeah, it can suck really badly. But you make do with what you have if he's worth it to you.

Advice someone cooler than me gave me: Never threaten to leave to make a point. It's bad for the relationship.

[Bluestars]

Things happen. Plans fall through. Like Paula said, life isn't always fair. I got really upset when my SO told me that we could not afford to see each other as often as we used to, but I did not respond like that. I might have been upset for a while, but I finally realized that you can only do so much and he was worth the wait.

I do not mean for this to offend you, but if you really told your SO last night that you hated him because his family cannot afford for him to come see you....I think you might have a problem. That is a very immature reaction in my opinion, and it sounds like something I would have told my mom when I was teenager if I did not get my way. That is not the way you should talk to your partner if you respect them, and I am sure he is probably really hurt by it, or else he should be upset.

Have you even thought about things from his perspective and considered that he is probably upset that he can not see you as well? Just as you are mad at him, couldn't he be mad at you for not visiting him?

[Silviar]

Well, don't hate him then. It was circumstances beyond his control. Are you both young? If you're under the age of adulthood, their wishes unfortunately are things you'll have to consider.

I realize you're upset, but sometimes promises like every 3 months just can't happen. Money unfortunately is a big factor in our everyday lives.

[LadyMarchHare]

Despite him promising, no one can seen into the future. I mean hell, I was supposed to see my SO about 6 months ago, and I was supposed to be able to see him last month, and now we can't see each other in January like we had promised. Shit happens, but letting it hit the fan by saying "I hate you"? Bad move on your part. That was the most immature thing you could have done and personally I think you need to turn around and apologize to him for acting that way over something he can't control. By the sounds of it, you're both still fairly young (whatever a 20 year old can consider young anyway) and just need to accept that life's not a fair player when it comes to many things, especially LDRs.

[Darth_Taco]

He's 16-years-old and you love over 2,000 miles away, how did you think he was going to make visits every 3 months? Shouldn't you be encouraging him to focus on school during the school year instead? You need to apologize to him right now, you had no right to talk to him like you did no mater how angry you are. My boyfriend got me off of drugs so we're pretty damn important to eachother, but if he ever said to me what you said to your boyfriend while we were long distance I would've dumped him at that moment. Almost any man would, you're lucky you're still in a relationship after what you did to him. Go make it up to him and be patient. If this website wasn't so full of oddly polite people, many members here would tell you just how offended they are by your reaction. I'm dead tired, so my mental filter isn't working to well.

[Caitlin2009]

He's 16-years-old and you love over 2,000 miles away, how did you think he was going to make visits every 3 months? Shouldn't you be encouraging him to focus on school during the school year instead? You need to apologize to him right now, you had no right to talk to him like you did no mater how angry you are. My boyfriend got me off of drugs so we're pretty damn important to eachother, but if he ever said to me what you said to your boyfriend while we were long distance I would've dumped him at that moment. Almost any man would, you're lucky you're still in a relationship after what you did to him. Go make it up to him and be patient. If this website wasn't so full of oddly polite people, many members here would tell you just how offended they are by your reaction. I'm dead tired, so my mental filter isn't working to well.

at 16 i was lucky enough if i had a bloody quarter in my pocket let alone enough to get a plane ticket

[LadyMarchHare]

Darth, I'd hug you if I could right now. That's the gospel truth right there.

[Zephii]

I didn't realise you had a mental filter Darth o.O. Congrats on closing the distance btw!

[folclor]

I have to say....I don't agree with your methods.

You're lucky if you get to see him every 3 months. Also, it seems like you're insinuating that he's the only one who should be making trips. That's totally unfair to him. it needs to be a more equal spread. And you need to understand things don't always pan out. Do you know how many times Alex and I planned trips that we couldn't take? there were about 4. So you need to apologize to him because he definitely didn't deserve that, and then go figure out what YOU want to do to make things better for your relationship, not just what HE should do. Remember, it's a joint effort.

EDIT: I just read Darth's post and I have to say I agree completely.