For those at University: how does your LDR work?

[Beastofknowledge]

Ok - first off, I am not worried about it not working when we both make our way to Uni next year, me here in england, and him over in Germany, but I am curious: for those in a LDR studying at Uni, how often do you see eachother? Does it affect the way you look at your social life?

[justbreathe]

I see him twice a month, for a weekend. I'm lucky in that we're only 3 hours away from one another. It doesn't affect my social life that much; people in my school tend to go home on the weekends anyway. I have missed an event here and there, but I'm fine with it.

I made a semi-similar thread about those in uni, maybe it'll help: https://members.lovingfromadistance....in-university.

[paulawriteslove]

Well I live in California and am a full time student and work, while my boyfriend lives in Texas and works full time. So I usually see him ever 3-4 months. We always see eachother during breaks like: Thanksgiving Break (1 week off of school), Christmas Break (1 month off of school), Spring Break (1 week off of school), and Summer Break (2 months off of school). So he usually gets off of work for a week so we can see each other It can be chaotic but I love it at the same time because everything works out

[kasia516]

Uni was awful for us. Since we're Canada to UK, our breaks NEVER matched up! Even in Dec I got two weeks off, and Christmas was right in the middle of it, so we couldn't see each other like we had planned. Because of uni we went 9 months without seeing each other. When I finally went to go see him, he was still going to school so I only saw him for half the day. We still always made time to talk to each other on Skype tho, and sent lots of emails. Even now that I graduated, I have to pay my student loans instead of save up for a visit so school is STILL keeping us apart

[hxcbreakdance]

My SO and I have lately been seeing each other every 2 to 3 weeks since we are only about 2 hours apart. I do think it has affected our social lives to some degree, mainly his. It's hard to find a balance because not only does he want to see me but also his friends at school and when he comes to visit here. It's hard because I don't want to share him but I have to put that aside and let him have time with his friends also. I think we get a great amount of time together though so I'm not complaining

[squiddie]

Our last year of university (my 4th year, his 5th), we were long distance, and we saw each other for ten days at Christmas, and that was it for the year.

Of course, part of that was that I was in the US and he was in Spain -- trans-Atlantic flights are expensive! I waited until he came back to the US for the holiday. It was rough, but I kept telling myself it was only for the school year, and I'd make it. (Oh how wrong I was...on the length of time, I mean.)

To contrast, my roommate and her boyfriend, who was 2 1/2 hours away from us, saw each other every other weekend. I think it's really a function of proximity and ease of travel.

Since you two are international, but it's easier to move around Europe, you may be able to work out a more frequent visiting schedule. I guess take cost and respective school breaks into account when you make plans.

[Miramaid]

I am in college too. The difference is that I am not even in grad school, but I am in a PhD program and I just started my first year. PhD takes 5 years to complete!!! My BF is in another state. I am 26, he is 30. We have only been together 6 months now but we are talking about long term relationships and a family in a future. I am terrified because I will be here 5 years and he is in military and there is a possibility that he may be going active duty at some point (and may be even AFTER I graduate) so there is a possibility of another time for us to be apart. I can not move or transfer to another university because of a few reasons: I am in international student here in the US and my visa and me staying in the USA really depends on me staying in school, and to get an assistanship and tuition paid is HARD especially in a PhD program. So I am stuck in here. HE is an American and he actually could have moved down here but he either doesnt want to or smth...I know he doesnt like change. HE had lived in his state all his life, knows everything there, has a job (not the best one and not the best paying one but still). HE applied to 2 or 3 jobs down here but did not get an interview and gave up or smth. HE is not looking into going to school too but not in this state (that one has to do with military and even though it will be closer, still it will be in another state) Well...it is just that we are not 17 years old and I know I will be here for a long time and PhD is a hard program and requires A LOT of time and commitment. SO far I have not been able to focus on school as much as I should. I am behind. Why? Coz I have been emotionally not into it. Emotionally I am with him and I want to be with him...and because I have been trying to talk to him online as much as I can...but I know if I continue to do that I will fail the school (i am already not doing too good) and ....i just so need security and his support!!! If only he was here it would have been so much easier coz even if I was doing homework all the time, it would have been next to him, on his lap or smth... We are older, he works, I am in a PhD and I do not feel like I have all the time in the world and that I can wait for 5 or may be more years. I really need him now especially knowing that I might have to wait for him if he goes active duty in the army....

What should I do????


P.S. When we started dating it was not LDR and I lived with him a couple of months before I had to move. We are 11 hrs driving distance away from each other and we see each other every 6-8 weeks. We have almost broken up 3 times since I moved

[Erika]

I'm currently in my fourth year, and Uni is completely awful for my relationship. He had two weeks of leave during November where he would have been able to come down and see me, but I had a ridiculous amount of midterms and papers due then, so unfortunately it didn't work out. School is really stressful and takes up a lot of my time, so that cuts down on the amount of time we could talk.

We see each other very sporadically. I saw him in June after not seeing him for 3 years, and then saw him again in September, then maybe again in December. After that who knows. We also have an additional element that keeps us apart: the military. He can only get a few days off occasionally, and they haven't really aligned well with my Uni schedule.

I was supposed to be graduating this year and then moving in with him, but unfortunately that won't work out. I'm going back for another two years to get my education degree.

[Tabitha]

I'm a full time student, and my SO is taking a year off before law school, but he isn't working. He comes up to visit every 3-5 weeks and stays for 2-3 weeks each time. We talking all day every day between my classes, and do Skype every night. When he's here, I only have class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he checks out the city, looks at apartments, or just hangs around the house when I'm in class.

[sabby64]

Since we've both left, we've seen eachother almost once a week :P Alot of it has been spontaneous and not planned, but I think it would be different if he lived more then 5 hours away.

[__ms.jaye]

I am in Univeristy full time, and I attend only Tuesdays and Thursdays. So all of my courses are crammed into one long 10AM-7PM day (it's just how things worked out) and we see each other every 3-4 months, just because I either have to wait for a long weekend, try to save for the airfare while only working about 20 hours a week because I am in school. Not to mention trying to chip away at my student loan, phone bills, and other daily expenses. It's alot of hard work. Especially with having to wait for the Spring Break, Christmas break is too short and much to busy for a visit, and Summer break I spend most of my time workng full time in order to play my student loan for the next year to come. So yes it is VERY hectic, and unfortunately I am only in my 2nd year.

As for my social life, bleh I barely have one to begin with while I am in school. I go out for an occasional coffee, icecream, or lunch/dinner with the girls I dont like going to the bar as often as I did because I feel a little guilty as my SO will wait until I get home just to make sure I made it home safe, and no jerks tried to hit on me big time. So all in all yes it is very hard, but we are all very much so in love I am sure so that's why we do it.

[Jacquie]

We see each other every holiday. I have to admit it is easier being away from him while we both (at different uni's) are away. We have tones of work and social stuff to do.. Having a room mate helps alot... just don't stress.

Skype is my lifesaver!

[becca53088]

For almost the entire time I've known my SO (5-ish years), we have been away at school. He went to college in New York while I was at school in PA (6 hours away). We only officially started a year before we both graduated from undergrad. So for about 1 year of actual dating we were 6 hours away from one another. By that time, we were pretty used to not seeing each other much at all except for long breaks (winter break-1 month and summer break-3 months) and we would see each other a lot during tha time, even before we were official. Now I am a graduate student still in PA at a different school and he works full-time in Virginia, which is 3 hours apart driving but less by train. We see each other a lot more now which is nice (every couple of weeks or more!) because I don't have classes Fridays or Mondays. It is going to be a long time until we can close the distance though because I will be in school for 5 more years!

I will say that the longer you are long distance, the easier it [I]does[I] get! We have been long distance for most of our time knowing each other and we are very used to it now! (though some times are still definitely harder than others)

[Belle]

Ja'Ron and I see each other on every break except Thanksgiving. It usually turns out to be about every three to five months. We keep our relationship alive by talking every day. We text all day and call each other to say good night, every night. We also cam and watch shows simultaneously together at the same time. Its not too hard when you are devoted to the person. Unlike you, i was actually very afraid lol. It was hard since the beginning but i really care about him and knew that we would both try our best to work it out.
I dont really cancel anything i have going on and i definitely go out with my friends and stuff. On our anniversaries, I do make sure the entire day is free so we can chat, watch shows and exchange letters if we have any. Its been a great time and i will see him in December right after out one year anniversary.

[Beastofknowledge]

Well he would have to take a flight over to london, or me over to Germany, so you know, the holidays and breaks might not fit together...