Move out or stay at home??

[amb85]

So here is my dilemma...not really a dilemma I guess, anywhoo. I am 25 and most of my friends are living with their SO some with other roommates. I have no problem living at home but I just kinda feel like I'm at that age where its expected that you do move out. Alot of people ask "so when are you moving out?" I would like to but that would also mean I would have less money to save for my future with my SO when we can finally be together under one roof and possbily less money for visits and such. Plus with the economy the way that it is, it makes me nervous to move out. Alot of people are losing their jobs and if that happened to me I would be screwed. Plus I still need to pay my car off and the good old student loans that never end. So I guess I'm just asking what you guys think is a smarter idea...staying home and saving my money or moving out to my own place or with a roommate?

[LadyMarchHare]

I'm 20 and catch the same thing. Really it comes down to what you can afford and what you're comfortable with. Some people aren't comfortable with being on their own or living with a veritable stranger yet even if their friends and peers seem to all be doing it. From the sounds of it, right now you can't afford to move out even if you're splitting rent and utilities with someone else so I wouldn't really be thinking too hard on it. You know you're not going to be there forever and really that's all that matters.

[mllebamako]

Yeah I agree, it's about what you can afford and what you're comfortable with.

As long as you don't mind living at home...it really seems like you need that extra money! So why not? Who cares what other people say! It's time for everyone to realize that people are different. Shocking, I know! But seriously, some people just can't get that through their heads!

Also, consider most other countries in this world.... judging from the ones I've lived in, MOST young people live with their parents until they are financially stable or are getting married. So tell them to stop bugging you because you're just trying to be international haha

[garnet]

If you're happy at home, stay! And contributing to the household. With your parents on board of course.
You are going to have much better footing when you do step out there on your own, if you wait until you're ready. Screw people that nag you about it. They don't pay your bills. When they do, they get to have an opinion.

[Silviar]

I think it's really up to you and your parents. If they're ok with you living there and helping you save money/pay off debt, then it sounds like you're doing just fine to me! It's really no one else's business but you and your parents when you want to move.

[MissShortie]

I'm 20 just like LadyMarchHare and I'm still living at home, my parents have told me I could live here until I'm 30 as long as I'm doing something like school or work. I'm taking them up on that offer but not till I'm 30 for sure lol. I'm saving up to get a car and a place of my own. But for me I can't wait to be closer to my SO, so the moment I get a car and have enough money I think I'll be moving there ASAP, but that's me

If you want to stay home and your parents let you, which it sounds like they will, I would stay home if I were you

[amb85]

Thanks everyone. I could afford it but money would be alot tighter than it is now. It's just my mom and brother at the house. I told my mom I was thinking about moving out a few months ago and she was like "why?" She said wasting money on rent was just silly when I could just stay home and save to move out whenever I get a boyfriend haha little does she know...I have a girlfriend haha.

[squiddie]

I think as long are you're okay with living at home, and your parents are okay with it as well, stay until you feel ready to go. Especially the way the economy is going, I know a lot of people who moved back in with the parents after college and are staying with them until they have enough saved up to live on their own. Some of these people have full-time jobs they love, some are bouncing from job to job, just trying to make money.

I think you should do what you feel is best for you. If that means building up a nice nest egg for yourself to fall back on when you do move out (enough to cover rent and bills for a few months should you lose your job), then do it. No one can know what's right for you, only you.

[Caitlin2009]

Hmmm....i say at least ask around your circle of friends and see if they need a roomate, would be better then living on your own right now and cheaper!

[NikkiP]

If you don't mind and your parents don't mind then who cares? Saving money is awesome! I RAN from there at 18. hehe. Everybody's situation is so different. Good luck!

[lucybelle]

Stay at home!!! If you're comfortable with your situation, don't change it! If you're at home and saving money that's great. If you're at home, NOT saving any money that'd be different. Don't worry about what age you are. It's just our society that says to move out. My SO is almost 30 living at home. And it's not cuz he's lazy, or a bum, it's because that's what his culture is--> Live at home until you are married.

Stay home. Save money. Enjoy your time.

[amb85]

Stay at home!!! If you're comfortable with your situation, don't change it! If you're at home and saving money that's great. If you're at home, NOT saving any money that'd be different. Don't worry about what age you are. It's just our society that says to move out. My SO is almost 30 living at home. And it's not cuz he's lazy, or a bum, it's because that's what his culture is--> Live at home until you are married.

Stay home. Save money. Enjoy your time.

Yeah I'm trying to enjoy all of the things I can still do while I'm young and not tied down by all the bills that come with a house or apartment...still saving alot of money at the same time.

[Bluestars]

Since the economy is so bad now, I have heard that this is more common than you would think. My SO (who is 25) actually told me today that he wants to move back in with his mom since it could save him around five hundred dollars a month. That really adds up, so I do not blame him!

[Lunar Snow]

Hi, amb85. I really wanted to say how much I appreciated you bringing up this topic--I empathize with you and I appreciated hearing many of the things people had to say. I am around the same age and have been forced to come back home after graduating from university, due to financial hardship (which continues due to job shortages in my field, etc.).

It can be really hard emotionally and socially, sometimes, when living at home after the age that is considered "acceptable" in certain cultures. I find that there is the stigma of either the obese male shut-in who doesn't work and doesn't do anything for himself and just lazes around all day in the basement, playing video games and another one is the socially stunted woman who is so very awkward and plain that she is desperately withering away into a spinstery shell--these are images that people have out there and they are exceptionally absurd and rude. Not only that, but I think many images of people who live with parents after a certain age are often considered incompetent, incapable, and burdensome. I have felt the sting of askance looks and tongue-clicking or clashes with parents over rights and responsibilities or now being an adult...but under their roof. It's hard. However, as many people have said here, it is becoming more and more common and, I would venture, necessary and it seems like our culture is in the minority thinking that it isn't okay. I bet you that the some of the same tongue-waggers who propound that the chicks shouldn't return to the nest are also the same people who don't support social programs or low-income housing (for situations where young people might fail or might not be able to make a go at obtaining all the commodities we Capitalists hold so dear). Poverty is a real concern for our generation and it is frightening. It's a real possibility for some very capable, intelligent, social, wonderful young people that if they fail at being self-sustaining, then they will be (or maybe already are) in desperate trouble without some family to help them.

For every person that criticizes you for being at home, remember that there are many more people out there who understand or sympathize with your situation and would encourage you to use it to your benefit. Keep saving up your money for when you are ready to make large purchases and moves and make sure to also have a good job in hand before making big moves places (or, at least, really solid action plan and budget). Keep strong in the goals you have and focus on working to fulfill those, rather than doling out rent, etc. because some stupid societal ideal is giving you the stink eye.

(Also, I have lived with housemates away from home before, but even with split rent and utilities, rental prices these days can be astronomical. Plus, roommates can come with some very special quirks and it may be that you really do not get along well and it can also breed some bad blood even in strong friendships (with things like rent, space, property, personal activities, personal hygiene, etc. coming into sharp focus and contrast, down to the microscopic. Roommate living does mean more autonomy away from home while still sharing some costs and life journeys with others, but it can also come at the cost of so many other things. It may be that you have enough saved to move out on your own or be with roommates, but remember that you may have to incur the costs for everything from groceries, laundry, medical care, etc. to rent--so, it maybe likely that living away may be far more austere than you think, in terms of what you can and cannot purchase and the standard of living you can sustain).

[milaya]

You should do what you feel comfortable about doing and what you can afford.
I'm 21 and moving into my own apartment this Monday, but it's mostly because I didn't have much of a choice. My mother always told me I could live with her as long as I wanted, but because I got accepted into an university on another island, I was forced to move in with my father. I already knew it wouldn't work out for long so I applied for an apartment the same day I got accepted into university. But, the whole thing probably wouldn't have worked out, if wasn't for my mom and my SO. Since my mom has paid most of my things and my SO gives me financial support. (Like paying half the rent every month, even though there's 6-8 weeks between his visits)

So if things doesn't work out between me and my SO... I'm forced out of the apartment... which will certainly be stressful. Ah... I miss living with my mom.