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    Hes dipping

    Over the summer my SO told me how he had a past habit of dippin tabacco and that he wanted to start again. I was really upset and i just asked him to not do it around me and he agreed not too.
    So he never even started doin it over the summer untill here recently he has, he told me he was fillin lightheaded and i told him to go eat something he was like thats not the reason... I havent had my dip. I was like WHAT?!?! And i busted into tears. I know i cant control him but i care about his health and dipping can lead to some problems. Hebsaid hes gonna stop in a couple of months but it worries me bout his oral health. (



    "Together forever but never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart!"

    Met: 9.15.08
    Started Dating: 10.17.08
    Been an LDR since: 10.17.08
    First time meeting: 5.28.09 - 6.2.09

    #2
    Unfortunately there's not much you can do. If he wants to dip, he'll do it. All you can do is ask he try to quit for both your sakes because it's bad for his health which in turn is bad for yours because you worry and it's truly disgusting. If that's anything like smoking, it may be very hard to quit so you do need to emphasize if/when he does, you'll be his support 100%, too.

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      #3
      Thanks you



      "Together forever but never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart!"

      Met: 9.15.08
      Started Dating: 10.17.08
      Been an LDR since: 10.17.08
      First time meeting: 5.28.09 - 6.2.09

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        #4
        I know what your feeling girl, same goes for me and my SO and pot. It's something I wish I could control but I just can't. All you can do it emphasize that you don't approve of it and give him 100% support for when he does decide to quit if ever.

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          #5
          just calmy have a talk with him explain how you feel... the worst think you could do is get emotional... guys don't react well to tears... show him so exaples of what you feel may happen.. guys think about facts and visuals... trust me i have 4 brothers

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            #6
            I had and still do have a problem with smoking. I didn't tell kyle about it for awhile, for fear of him being grossed out or upset. Once I told him our discussion was kind of heated in the begging, to the point where he threatened to cancel our next trip. I laughed and said he didn't have the balls and he agreed. After that, he was extremely supportive in finding ways to help me quit and avoid situations that urge me to smoke. I noticed after this conversation that his positive remarks on my problem were much more convincing then his negative ones. His helping me quit smoking, made me want to quit.
            So my advice to you is, every once in a while, be cute and send him a text with ways to keep him from dipping, negative side-effects of dipping etc. If you keep your concern supportive and understanding, he will feel like its something you guys can conquer together, and eventually be compelled to stop.

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              #7
              Thank you everyone so much!!



              "Together forever but never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart!"

              Met: 9.15.08
              Started Dating: 10.17.08
              Been an LDR since: 10.17.08
              First time meeting: 5.28.09 - 6.2.09

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                #8
                I have no idea what "dipping" is. It doesn't sound good. eww! I can see why you don't want it t happen. Im sorry.

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                  #9
                  Dipping, also called "snuff", is where you take a pinch of moist raw tobacco, stick it between your bottom lip and gum, and suck on it. That's where you get the nicotine from, just like a cigarette. It's what you see most baseball players spitting that has a disgusting color. Not to mention smell and taste.

                  It's funny that this was brought up. My father, who used to dip ages ago, and I were having a discussion on "deal-breakers". He told me that in his first marriage, his wife flat out told said "It's me, or the snuff". And he figured it was not important enough to lose her over. And in my opinion, it's not. If you feel so strongly he should see you and your feelings as more important. No need to bring up the fact that it's unhealthy and unpleasant.

                  On the other hand, my father also mentioned in that conversation that her giving him that ultimatum was a sign of larger issues that eventually broke up the marriage. It wasn't about her not wanting him to chew, it was the principle of the thing. So, I would talk to him very directly and tell him you really want him to stop for health reasons, but it's not a deal-breaker. It's not encroaching on his freedom, but it does need to be made clear your strong feelings on this.

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                    #10
                    There really isn't anything you can do to make him stop, so I wouldn't worry about it because it'll only eat you. My dad dips, and has for about 15 years now. It's gross and disgusting, but he's still kicking just fine and we can't do a thing about it.


                    LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                      #11
                      I never dated anyone who dipped but over the years I have listened to my sister and her husband battle over it. She thinks it's the most discusting thing in the world and refuses to ever kiss him which has effected there relationship more then I can express. When my SO came along, he was very upfront about that fact that he chews and has been doing it for years. I didn't want to control him nor end up like my sister so I asked him nicely to brush his teeth and rinse often before we kiss. I also told him that if he decides to ever quiet that I would help him anyway I can. My advice to you is don't tell him what to do but make some suggestions on how he can help you deal with being with someone who dips...

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                        #12
                        Faith5x5nomore,is it effecting his health? Thats my main concern



                        "Together forever but never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart!"

                        Met: 9.15.08
                        Started Dating: 10.17.08
                        Been an LDR since: 10.17.08
                        First time meeting: 5.28.09 - 6.2.09

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                          #13
                          Now that I know what this is...this would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't kiss someone like that. Sorry!

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                            #14
                            When I found out my SO smoked cigarettes, I let him know I worried about his health and that I wasn't okay with him smoking around me. He was understanding and told me he wanted to quit. So I supported him through the tough withdrawal and now everything is fine. So ultimately it's up to your guy whether he will keep dipping or not. Just remind him you worry and that you'll support his quitting 100%. Whether this is a deal breaker for you or not is a personal choice.

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                              #15
                              These situations do suck and I was in a similar one with an ex, it hurts you knowing they do something that hurts them. The only thing you really can do is express how much you don't like it and it's up to him to decide what he wants. I'm sorry about your situation, it sucks knowing you cannot do anything about it :/

                              Madly in love with Michael


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