Would you go this far in keeping your relationship?

[Caitlin2009]

Something ive thought about especially when i watch shows like this, from time to time i will watch a show called Lockup which is a show about people in prisons and what they go through on a daily basis, what its like there, ect. And i remember a few episodes where a couple is married or they meet somehow online or whatever and get married, but arent allowed to consummate there marriage. My question is would you ever consider having an LDR with someone in prison? Or would you wait for someone who went to prison for something they did?


My answer....no friggen way!!!! O_o LDR's are hard enough work but then you got the added stress of your loved one in prison and theres only so much you can do, hardly any contact would drive me crazy and im not the type of person who would wait forever while there SO went to prison, i dunno i just think thats a bit much

[monita1847]

well, its like when u r togher with ur loved one and then sth happens n he or shes imprisoned, and when ur luv is really strong enough, i wud wait for him/her..

[Miramaid]

if my man stole smth from a store to feed our children or beat smb up for me, or killed smb wile trying to protect another person, then I would wait for him. But I would not even think about starting and LDR with anyone in prison.

[mllebamako]

This would depend on many, many factors for me: were we together before he got into prison, how long and how serious was our relationship before he went to prison, WHY did he go into prison, was he actually guilty of the crime, how long is his sentence....and so on and so forth.

But if it was like the situation you mentioned....meeting online, etc. Then no. I wouldn't try to be in an LDR with an inmate. But who knows...some people just start as penpals and they learn about the other person and then...poof! love...

[holdinghands]

definitely why did he or she go to prison would be my biggest worry......and i am a panicker so i;d worry about them getting beaten up in prison and stuff lol
i guess if they were wrongly accused/unfairly imprisoned then i would most likely wait for them and support them as best i could, but i don't think i'd ever initiate something so gruelling as maintaining a relationship under these circumstances

[Karringtyn]

One thing I have learned through my LDR...never say never. My life has totally changed and if you told me two years ago I would be divorced and in love wiht someone from online...would have never believed it.

[hxcbreakdance]

For me it would depend on the situation and what they did, how long before they went to jail etc. I would probably end it though, it seems pretty stressful and not something I would want to be involved with.

[MoonWatcher]

I used to work with a ministry that helped loved ones see their family members in prison. It's true, there are some real scumbags who drag their co-dependent wives along (sometimes doing their dirty work for them while they're in the slammer). But most of the time, being in prison away from their family is just what wayward husbands/dads need to turn their lives around. There were a couple instances where it was the mother, and honestly, it was for survival that most of them ended up there.

That being said, I think it would really depend on what they were in prison for. And if they were able to be "rehabilitated". I don't think I would date someone I MET in prison, though. To me that's kind of asking for trouble. It's already extremely difficult trusting someone who is a law abiding citizen!

[Zephii]

Depends what they were in for really. I'd date someone I'd met in prison *shrugs* people make mistakes.

[LadyMarchHare]

Call me weird, but unless they raped someone, I'd date them. Yeah I'd date a killer, the act doesn't define the person. Like Zephii said, people make mistakes. If my SO went to prison, regardless of why I would wait for them. At least then there's conjugal visits and calling/letters so it's not too different. You know where they are, at least.

Oddly enough my SO and I had this conversation once as his past is not exactly clean and frankly I couldn't give a rat's ass. People do dumb things, serve time, and come out either still dumb or better. If they don't come out, chances are they deserve not to. Doesn't mean they're not people and don't deserve love or at least a friend who can make them feel human when the monotony of prison can make you feel otherwise.

[blankita719]

I actually have a bit of experience with this one...my son's father spent some time in prison. I stayed with him and waited for him to get out because we had a child together and because I loved him (or thought I did). It's a very tough thing to do, especialy when I'm probably one of the most law abiding people there are in the world. He made some severely bad choices and served his time. If he had gone away for something violent, then I most likely would not have been in that relationship, but it wasn't and I thought he had learned from his mistakes. Sadly, he is a pathological liar and likely never will. It was extremely painful not seeing him except for on a video screen, and since I never really told many people that he was in prison, it was also a very lonely time. Ironically, it made for great practice with my current SO - who is a completely different person and wouldn't put me in the position of having to go through that again.

[PaperbackWriter]

No, just...no. That's one of my two big dealbreakers. 1) Cheating and 2) Going to Prison. As much as I may love the person, I will not saddle myself with someone who has broken a law to the extent that they must serve time. My opinion may change in the future (although I certainly hope the issue never comes up!!!) but for the time being, I don't have that kind of personality? Level of compassion? I don't know what exactly, but I wouldn't deal with it. Remain friends? Possibly. But be in a relationship again? No.

[Trethsparr]

Hmmm. Yeah, I don't have an instant yes-or-no answer to this one. I wouldn't ever enter a relationship with someone who was currently in prison. If they had been in prison before in their life and learned from the experience (some don't, some do), then possibly, depending on the nature of the crime, etc. It's pretty hard to imagine my SO going to jail because he's a "straight arrow" kind of guy and always has been. Were he wrongfully accused and imprisoned, I'd stand by him though it would break my heart to be separated from him in that way.

[Heather]

I don't think I'd ever be with anyone in prison.. now, if my SO went to prison, heck yeah I'd wait for him!! he's my whole life.. I love that man to death! wouldn't ever want to be without him..I can only imagine how much harder it would be if he were in prison, because if I don't hear his voice on a daily basis, even if it's to say "Goodnight, I love you" I go insane.. I need to hear his voice, so I think it would be extremely difficult, but I can get through anything if I really want it (Anyone can!) But to start a relationship with someone in prison? Heck no..

A family member met a guy, he went to prison for like 2 years, she was sending him money every month etc etc and when he got out she was told he was seeing someone else, sure enough..she hasn't even heard from him since he got out of prison.
Anyway, that's my opinion. Sorry for the little rant..

[Caity]

I think it would depend on the circumstances. If my guy ended up in prison for something, then i'd wait for him. Fortunately that's not very likely to happen. =)
If it was somebody i'd met who was currently in prison, I think i would have reservations about starting a relationship, but if i was interested, i think i would spend the time they were in prison just becoming friends and getting to know each other, and then when he came out maybe see about taking it further then. It would depend on what crime it was and how long their sentence was though. I certainly wouldn't want to date a serial killer =S