I love my girlfriend. We talk about anything and everything forever, but this is the longest we've been apart now and it's taking a toll on me, mentally... I feel pressure to be funny, or to keep conversations going... A lot of this is neuroticism, to be honest with myself... But lately, because we haven't been able to experience things together, which is where a lot of our material comes from... I don't want her to think that we're losing what we had because I know it's not true... ask anyone around us, they all can see why we're together... any suggestions?
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I'm new btw, so if I'm missing any helpful blogs/ articles/ tools, let me know... -
There's an ad somewhere on the forum for conversation starters when there's silence (if someone gets the link before me, please post it) and there are ideas on the main site about things you can do together online when there's distance. If you guys talk so much about what you've done together, do you talk about your separate days? But do check that stuff out as I think it may take the pressure off you. Even play 20 questions, look up online quizzes people take on Facebook or whatnot and ask each other the questions. That way you're making conversation and learning more about one another. And hey, you can go back later and say "remember that night we played that game/asked each other silly questions?" and talk about it.
EDIT: Here's the link I was talking about. Just nabbed it. https://www.lovingfromadistance.com/1000questions.htmlComment
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Do you mean on the webcam or the phone? If you are on the phone yes, there are threads and also on the main page there are 90+ LDR things to do so maybe do some of those things so you have shared experiences to talk about.
If you are talking about the webcam then, depending on if you are comfortable with it, silence can be fine. We will often be on webcam and say nothing for 30min or so and just look up at each other now and then and we are fine about it. Depends on the medium and how ok you are with it.Comment
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Try not to put pressure on yourself for this issue. It is a really common occurrence in LDRs, I wrote a blog post about it and I got some REALLY helpful comments that made me realize that I am not the only one dealing with this. Here is the link if you want to look at those comments https://members.lovingfromadistance....p?818-UntitledComment
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Sometimes running out of things to say means you're talking too much. I know that seems hard to believe, but if you take a break from each other, you may find you have more to talk about.
Make plans for you and your girlfriend to make topic lists, things you think about during the day that you'll want to talk about. It could be something that happened at school/work, something you saw on the news or a favorite TV show, etc. It definitely helps you keep your mind on track, and if you start floundering for ideas, you can look at the list.
Also, don't put all the pressure on you. I'm sure she's feeling the same way.
If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion...love actually is all aroundComment
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We spend a lot of time on the phone. Probably 2+ hours every day. A lot of that is spent in silence. Whether he's playing COD or FIFA and I'm doing something at home - writing etc... it's kind of nice because it's what I imagine we would be doing anyway if we were in the same room.Comment
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This was Obi and I ^^;Originally posted by NikkiP View Post
Remember too that you can DO things together, even when you're seperate. You can still have joint projects, you can still have hilarious cooking dates, you can still have a part of each others lives and friendship circles. Don't limit yourself just coz you think something will be weird or people around you will laugh. Have a great day!Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person
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Welcome!
I know exactly where you are coming from, before I found this website I was having the exact same problem. Around our three or four month anniversary, me and Tom decided that we needed to spice up our conversations, so we just googled things like 'questions to ask your boyfriend/girlfriend' or 'questions to ask to get to know someone' and we found so many obscure questions that really helped us learn so much more about each other.
Also as others have posted there is the list of things to do in an LDR and the E-Book of 1000 questions for couples. But I think just googling 'obscure questions to ask your girlfriend/boyfriend' will get the ball rolling.
Best of luck
Your absence has not taught me how to be alone, it merely has shown that when together we cast a single shadow on the wall. ~ Doug FetherlingComment
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hehehe people at work still can't figure out the concept of us watching movies together and whatnot.Originally posted by Zephii View Post
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