Help Spending Birthday Wishes
On the website that my SO and I have, we have made a way for each of us to earn birthday wishes. He gives to me ones that break down to however many hours or minutes and I give him ones that represent whole wishes and he can add however many together depending on the magnitude of his wish. This started out when he and I were...unofficial but heavily flirty (and he was in the hot phase of his hot and coldness). Er...well, not to get too much into private moments, but basically we pretended that he had three characters, based on the id, ego, and superego and they were all bidding on my favour and part of that bidding was birthday wishes. It's carried through into our relationship over time and I think the wishes are a part of what made maintaining our website so fun in the first place, but are also part of why we have become really lax about maintaining our website.
Birthday wishes can be used throughout the year and we both earn interest on our banked birthday wishes (he really thought this through) and can earn portions of or whole birthday wishes by doing quests (my addition). We get more birthday wishes when our next birthday comes, as well. It was a really neat way to make special requests of each other, but I think that it is also really difficult to grant or ignore some wishes and, so, the power of them has rather degraded a bit. There are also some unspoken rules about them or things that have been worked out along the way. Many of his wishes, for me to grant, have been of well...sexy pictures and videos. Some of which I have done, but some of which I later removed or wouldn't/ couldn't do (given various reasons)--so, maybe he is a bit hesitant trying to think of other things to wish for. Mine have been everything from asking him to make a music compilation for me (and he went above and beyond and made me six and decorated the CDs and mailed them to me, instead of just uploading some songs to the website) to asking him to find a picture on a website that I couldn't find anymore. The problem for me, right now, is that I have quite a few banked up from quests and interest and...because he is very generous with them for me, but I am not sure how to use them. I would like to use them maybe to "pester" (don't read too much into that word...I just like it
) him to send me letters and packages more like he used to, but it seems a bit unfair to ask for something that may cost too much monetarily (especially when I can't reciprocate and he also likes to feel spontaneous in his romance). Otherwise, I could ask him to spend more time on this or that with me, but he usually is just really good about doing those things when we discuss them anyway. Hmmmn. As for him, he did make one wish which I have been really dragging my heels about granting (though I thought that it could also make a nice gift for his composition recital). He wants me to make him a relaxation CD, by recording myself saying a script (based on one he has a recording of a therapist saying) for different relaxation exercises to help him sleep and to get rid of tension, but he is very particular about what I say and how I say it (and I understand the reasons why, since I need to say things at a very slow, relaxing speed for it all to work, etc.)...so I feel nervous, I guess, to work on it in case it isn't useful for him or I have to burn up a lot of time re-recording myself (if I sound funny or there's too much background noise...or the biggest problem would be talking thaaaaat sloooooow).
A different piece of the puzzle is that he and I did finally get our health challenge off the ground--he even made a game board with tokens on our website. I made some ideas for the challenge and assigned point values. Each time we make our way around the board, we earn...a birthday wish! The benefits of the health challenge and earning bonus wishes should be incentive to really take off with it, but we are both kind of half-hearted about recording things and declaring goals and such. I think a big part of it is that we aren't placing much value on the birthday wishes any more.
Phew! Almost at the end of the post:
1. Do you have suggestions for how I should use some of my birthday wishes?
2. How can I feel more comfortable and confident about producing this superb relaxation CD for him?
3. How can I encourage him to make more wishes (no, I can't or won't send certain, sexy videos...just like he really doesn't want me to use my wishes to make him watch every episode of Dr. Quinn with me...though, maybe those aren't on the same level...since the latter doesn't really have the potential to ruin one's professional reputation down the road)?
4. How can we make the health challenge more interesting/ take it more seriously (we both really do like the idea)? / Will reigniting the usefulness of the birthday wishes act as a more powerful reinforcer or would something else be better?
Birthday wishes can be used throughout the year and we both earn interest on our banked birthday wishes (he really thought this through) and can earn portions of or whole birthday wishes by doing quests (my addition). We get more birthday wishes when our next birthday comes, as well. It was a really neat way to make special requests of each other, but I think that it is also really difficult to grant or ignore some wishes and, so, the power of them has rather degraded a bit. There are also some unspoken rules about them or things that have been worked out along the way. Many of his wishes, for me to grant, have been of well...sexy pictures and videos. Some of which I have done, but some of which I later removed or wouldn't/ couldn't do (given various reasons)--so, maybe he is a bit hesitant trying to think of other things to wish for. Mine have been everything from asking him to make a music compilation for me (and he went above and beyond and made me six and decorated the CDs and mailed them to me, instead of just uploading some songs to the website) to asking him to find a picture on a website that I couldn't find anymore. The problem for me, right now, is that I have quite a few banked up from quests and interest and...because he is very generous with them for me, but I am not sure how to use them. I would like to use them maybe to "pester" (don't read too much into that word...I just like it
) him to send me letters and packages more like he used to, but it seems a bit unfair to ask for something that may cost too much monetarily (especially when I can't reciprocate and he also likes to feel spontaneous in his romance). Otherwise, I could ask him to spend more time on this or that with me, but he usually is just really good about doing those things when we discuss them anyway. Hmmmn. As for him, he did make one wish which I have been really dragging my heels about granting (though I thought that it could also make a nice gift for his composition recital). He wants me to make him a relaxation CD, by recording myself saying a script (based on one he has a recording of a therapist saying) for different relaxation exercises to help him sleep and to get rid of tension, but he is very particular about what I say and how I say it (and I understand the reasons why, since I need to say things at a very slow, relaxing speed for it all to work, etc.)...so I feel nervous, I guess, to work on it in case it isn't useful for him or I have to burn up a lot of time re-recording myself (if I sound funny or there's too much background noise...or the biggest problem would be talking thaaaaat sloooooow).A different piece of the puzzle is that he and I did finally get our health challenge off the ground--he even made a game board with tokens on our website. I made some ideas for the challenge and assigned point values. Each time we make our way around the board, we earn...a birthday wish! The benefits of the health challenge and earning bonus wishes should be incentive to really take off with it, but we are both kind of half-hearted about recording things and declaring goals and such. I think a big part of it is that we aren't placing much value on the birthday wishes any more.
Phew! Almost at the end of the post:
1. Do you have suggestions for how I should use some of my birthday wishes?
2. How can I feel more comfortable and confident about producing this superb relaxation CD for him?
3. How can I encourage him to make more wishes (no, I can't or won't send certain, sexy videos...just like he really doesn't want me to use my wishes to make him watch every episode of Dr. Quinn with me...though, maybe those aren't on the same level...since the latter doesn't really have the potential to ruin one's professional reputation down the road)?
4. How can we make the health challenge more interesting/ take it more seriously (we both really do like the idea)? / Will reigniting the usefulness of the birthday wishes act as a more powerful reinforcer or would something else be better?
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