don't understand

[littlewinged1]

My boyfriend just texted me that his parents talked to him about how he prioritizes me above his school work. They are cutting off all of our communications for at least a week and sending him to therapy for it. I just don't understand why they are doing this... I don't what to think right now. I'm just so sad

[Čternity]

Sounds a bit odd... Is he doing well at school? If he isn't, I can see that they might give him a talking to about keeping his grades up etc but therapy seems a bit harsh. What would the therapy do to help him if it's only about managing time? We all need to be able to manage many different aspects of life all at once. Sometimes it's harder than other times to get everything done.

How have his parents been with regards to the LDR before this happened?

[garnet]

Therapy does seem rather harsh! I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't quite figure out what his parents are thinking therapy will accomplish unless they are opposed to him being in an LDR?

[littlewinged1]

When I'm around they seem like they like me but then they do things like this and I'm confused. They have kept us from talking before but this is the worst. My boyfriend tries to convince me that this has nothing to do with me and keeping us apart but how could I think differently? To me the only explanation is that they are hoping that through therapy he will move on from me. I just want to be there for him like he has always been for me. If he is having trouble with school and time management I want to help him. His grades aren't even bad! Nothing below a C... none of this makes sense to me

[Čternity]

Has your boyfriend been down lately or depressed? Could this be why they are sending him there? Is he stressed out or something?

[littlewinged1]

No he hasn't... Ever since I moved he has been quieter but nothing that would make me think he would need therapy, just normal for being in a LDR

[LadyMarchHare]

The only thing I can think of to rationalize this behavior is he's acting strangely at home. LDRs can bring on depression, but it's situational depression and such a thing can't really be cured by therapy as it's justified sadness. He may be acting out in other ways and they feel you're to blame. Do you guys talk a lot, like IM or skype? They may feel he's becoming a hermit or has an obsession/addiction problem with you or that you caused. It's very easy for parents to be two-faced with SOs for many reasons, mainly protection, and I think that may be what's going on. And you don't know, his grades could be slipping and he's not telling you. The therapy's the puzzler, though, but I suppose until the first session no one but the parents are going to know why he's going as usually the therapists will discuss the reason they're there.

[littlewinged1]

I like to think that if his grades were slipping he would tell me the truth but I wouldn't rule out that he kept that from me either.. We text everyday when we can and skype maybe 3 hours per week. I encourage him to spend time with his friends, I wouldn't want him to be a hermit. I've always tried to be the best girlfriend to him and want his parents to like me... I don't want them to feel I'm the source of his problems

[Caitlin2009]

isnt it he over age??? couldnt he say "no im not going you cant make me!" and move out to find somewhere else to live?

[littlewinged1]

I wish... This is one of the few things that remind me that I'm an adult and he is still 17

[Silviar]

Very strange and bizarre behavior. Unfortunately, none of us can say definitively what causes them to be so crazy, since we don't know them, but it could be anything from a case of extreme parenting (you know, the parents who pick their kids up from everywhere so the rapists don't get them mentality) to them being toxic, controlling people, to you not knowing something going on between him and his parents. I mean, who knows? And that's what's scary - the unknown.

You, nor him, can stop his parents from being the way they are. However, a good therapist, if he's going to a legit one, may notice his parents are actually being abusive and it could end up helping him instead of hindering him.

[littlewinged1]

That's exactly it. I'm scared because I don't know what is going to happen and I don't know what is going on with his parents. I'll just be hoping for the best

[Caitlin2009]

and the therapist most likely will tell them to chill out because he's 17 he's almost an adult and they pretty much cant do much to him since he's almost that age, and that age normally parents start to back off a little

[__ms.jaye]

So I don't quite understand, why anyone would send them to thearpy.. seems a little hard.. honestly doesn't make sense if he's not doing well in school.. I think he needs to assess why he's not doing well in school and if that means more time in the books than with you that's something you need to accept, and if anything ENCOURAGE HIM!

[Riyko]

Or maybe sending him to therapy doesn't have anything to do with your relationship, but it could have something to do with him like if he's been acting differently or if they've noticed some changes in him that aren't normal and they feel that therapy may help him.