How to cheer each other up?

[KiwiLove]

I would like to know if you also going / or went through this period of time...
I miss my boyfriend to the worst and its getting even worse everyday
My heart feels like someone is hurted by a knife it really hurts me like real pain!!
I could scream sometimes, so much does it hurt.

My boyfriend is trying to cheer me up but last monday he told me that he cant go along with it sometimes..hes also getting sad and sometimes he doesnt know how to cheer me up anymore because i frustrate him in being negative, but i cant help! its really bad.

Does anyone experienced this?
And does soemone know how to get over it and to cheer one anothe up??
Maybe with some cute txt messages such as love poems or so?

[Darth_Taco]

Well, what Enrique and I do is send each other things online. We'll do romantic pictures sometimes, usually we're more into things that make us laugh. We love motivational posters and fails. There's some weird crap out there xD. It won't fix our problems or anything, but it does help cheer us up. That pick me up kind of makes us think clearer and gives us the motivation to deal with our issues. Text from last night is good too, but don't look at it through Google Chrome, it won't show it XP. Anyway, if you like laughing at drunk people, that's the site for you.

[Silviar]

You've got to learn to pick yourself up, hun. It's hard, and he can do some of the supporting, but you've got to choose to be happy. Concentrate on the good, not the bad. Keep the ball rolling on things you want in life; things YOU want to achieve. You'll be glad you did. If it's too hard, you may want to consider some cognitive therapy to help you turn around and keep on the positive side of things. It truly is a matter of mind.

Having said that, I've been there, but my SO manages to cheer me up usually when I do get into a real funk.

[Stephanieeee]

My and Kyle have codes that we specified for this exact situation.
Sleep codes, creep codes and sad codes. When we miss eachother painfully, we refer to it as a 'code grey'. Actually, I think i still have the e-mail i sent him when i had my first code grey. Lemme creep so I can find it. One moment.
*jeopardy music* here it is:
"code grey:
the following sensation after you listen to copious amounts of depressing music that perfectly encompasses overwhelming feelings that you cant do anything with, but instead swiftly spins you into a black pit of "fuck my life".
during your stay you'll want to attempt to express the energy of this place to the person in question, but at the same time don't, because you know that it will only order said person to the same pit. and even though you want nothing more then to tell the object of your affection how you're feeling, you have a profound fear of radiating the same feeling onto them, because its an unnecessary yet imminent mood; that can only be cured by a little bit of silence from both parties. because even though they're the only person capable of making you feel better, you fear that at the same time, their cherished correspondence will only make you love them more, thus digging you deeper into this theoretical pit, which can only be described as a shithole of adoration."

anyway, the point of that was...this is a really really good and subtle way of letting your man know that you are missing him without the downers. when all you have is talking, its difficult to describe your feelings without making it seems like your always depressed. and in situations like distance relationships, adding more downers to your already growing list of downers is...a downer. its easy to get frusterated with your signifigant other when all they do is go on and on about the same sad things.
they miss you too, of course. but sometimes you gotta take one for the team and realize that if your sad, he will be sad as well. and you dont want him sad, do you? of course you dont.
Using this method, its just a subtle statment that you're missing him, and nothing more needs to be said about it, he will instantly know that its now his job to make you happy again via phone call, cute picture of him hopping out of the shower etc.
its a very useful tool and i give you permission to use it to your liking.

[holdinghands]

I know EXACTLY what you mean.
Every now and then we would have phases like this. I'm ashamed to say I used to put him down so much, not intentionally but I would just tell him how much I missed him and how it was unbearable without him, and how every day he seemed to be further away etc., and I know it got him down and he tried to cheer me up and hide how much it was hurting him to see me so sad, to be honest we have had a few arguments about it, but one day I just realised that I needed to stop. It wasn't helping anything, it was unnecessary and I was just causing him pain. So, I sat down and talked to him about it. For ages. And then we decided that it was stupid, and that when we get like this we just need a distraction. More or less, we had just got stuck in a rut and our conversations how ground to a halt; we only ever talked about how awful the distance was. Now we find new things to talk about, for example we downloaded the '1000 questions for couples' thingy and we ask each other questions from that, and we talk about the future we will have together and just stuff that will distract us. Now we look forward to spending the rest of our lives together more, instead of complaining about how far away that is going to be.

[Bluestars]

You've got to learn to pick yourself up, hun. It's hard, and he can do some of the supporting, but you've got to choose to be happy. Concentrate on the good, not the bad. Keep the ball rolling on things you want in life; things YOU want to achieve. You'll be glad you did. If it's too hard, you may want to consider some cognitive therapy to help you turn around and keep on the positive side of things. It truly is a matter of mind.

I really agree with this. I used to try cheering my SO up when he was depressed, but it got to where I couldn't handle it because it was making me depressed too. He was really depressed at the time, and what he really needed was to seek out help from a professional--which I encouraged him to do and he listened. He also has bad OCD at some points, and whenever he is OCDing or depressed, I now usually get off the phone at a certain point (where nothing I say makes a difference) because I can't emotionally handle it. I either get really upset or mad at him--which isn't good.

That being said, my SO can sometimes cheer me up, but other times he can't. If I am depressed, nothing he says will make me feel better. It usually takes me several days to get out of the funk.

My point is that it is not your boyfriend's responsibility to cheer you up; it is your responsibility. You can do simple things like exercising, going on walks, meditating, and socializing with friends. Like Silviar said, a lot of it also has to do with your way of thinking. It sounds as though all you are doing is concentrating on missing your boyfriend, while instead you could be recalling how much you love him and thinking of fun things to do together.

If this doesn't help, I would encourage you to seek professional help. At one point in time, I used to go to a therapist and she really helped me get my life back together. Medicine might also help, but it won't solve the problem unless you change the way you think.

[Heather]

Play games with each other, talk about happy things like your future etc get your mind off missing him so much.. it's difficult, I know.. but it seems to work for me, I get upset and miss him more when we aren't talking because usually I'm busy being happy with him while he's online

[Yorkshire Girl]

It is hard when you feel so low. I feel the same right now. I miss him so bad it actually hurts me.

Just keep yourself busy and plan ahead so you have things to look forward to. With each other I would say just keep talking about the future and help each other. Its good your SO is supporting you, but if your SO is feeling the same then you need to support each other =)